Home owners of Lemmy do you have any advice on dealing with the stress of owning a home?
Home owners of Lemmy do you have any advice on dealing with the stress of owning a home?
Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
Not really much advice other than being proactive about issues, but it is funny how concerned you quickly become with all types of water once you own a home. Rain intrusion, drainage in the yard, leaky pipes, dripping noises, frozen pipes, gutters, humidity, water heater, storms, etc, etc. It's a real menace and so are squirrels (as I also found out after purchasing a home).
So many people who are mentally and cognitively bankrupt own houses. They never do any maintenance on them, or if they do, they never do it right. And yet, their houses aren’t (always) falling apart.
Houses are more sturdy than our anxieties convince us. Fix things little by little as they come, prioritize what comes first. Your house won’t fall apart or blow up. This is what I tell my wife when she gets nervous about something creaking.
Know when to bodge a fix, and when to nut up and spend some time and money on something. Damp mouldy patch on the ceiling? Have a look in the ceiling space, see if you can spot the issue, fix it if it's easy. Slap some mould killer on it, done, don't worry about it. If it comes back? Get it fixed.
Writing shit down helps. I've got a whole todo list of things that need to be fixed. It's shitty how long it is, but because it's written down it's already half taken care of and I don't have that random stress of 'oh good that's right there's a leaky shower' and having to remember to do that thing.
List the issues, google one by one how to bodge it, decide if it's worth it.
I remember going from being super excited that I owned the walls and fixtures around me to then realising I owned the walls and fixtures and no-one else was going to fix them. Not everything needs doing now though, so separate the issues into things you can live with, mid-term renovations and now things.
Oh, and always remember you’re not paying off someone else’s mortgage anymore!
I know it is cheesy, but look at every maintenance project as an opportunity for learning a new DIY skill.
Start going to garage sales and flea markets to collect tools.
It helps if you can chitchat with someone IRL about mutual homeowner issues.
Homeownership is man's continuous battle against water.
Remember this is a marathon and not a sprint. So think in long terms for fixing things. Even if you sell the house having something done correctly will increase the value. Fix something and maintain as best as possible to keep it working or as high value. This feels best if you do it room by room so you can enjoy the things you fixed.
Don’t tell me… I’m 36 years old. Five years ago, I bought my house—an old one in a small town here in Spain that needed a complete renovation, including the roof. After four years of very, very hard work, mostly done by myself, I managed to restructure the house. I redid everything except the exterior walls. I moved in six months ago. So, here’s what happened: last month, some workers were installing new fiber optic cables for the whole street. They climbed onto my roof without asking and drilled a hole in it to run the cables—without my consent. For the past two weeks, I’ve been battling the fiber company and insurance to get this fixed. Meanwhile, I’ve had a bucket in one of my rooms for two weeks, and the room is now full of humidity and mold. The entire ceiling, which is made of drywall, needs to be completely redone. My hair is falling out nonstop—I’ll be bald like a light bulb in a couple of months if this keeps up.
The biggest advice I can give is put systems in place to reduce as much as possible the list of things you have to manage freeing up your mind and time to solve more complex issues.
Stick a hose on the dehumidifier route into the drain never empty it again as an example where as before you emptied it daily or every 2 days.
It gets boring to worry. Now I just view it as a cosy box that I'll occasionally have to patch up. Also, getting comfortable with DIY, especially that first scary 'dive in' moment where you have to cut the wire, drill the wall, or pull up the board. Over time it all just gets as normal and run of the mill as cracking an egg for an omelette.
Never, ever, under any circumstances, think that you’ve finally done everything that needs doing.
I can only say, learn how to fix things. Like, everything. Because everything is going to fail at some point, and that $4000 quote to fix it doesn’t look so good.
Rodents or possums in the ceiling, call the local pest expert for advice. They’ll usually give you that because they don’t want to come out and get in your roof stage themselves.
Snakes? Don’t go under the house in hot weather. Keep trimming the grass/weeds close the house especially if your kids play there.
Invasive root systems like white poplar near the house? Either have a professional kill and relive the tree, or did up the roots every time you see a shoot come up.
Generally look around the house. Think about how each thing could fail (gutters, roofing, stairs, electrical, plumbing, paint, windows). Think of worst case scenarios for those things and what you would do if that happened. Prepare for it whether that means having the number of someone who can do it, or how you can do some DIY repairs, even if it’s temporary.
Finally. Bush fire. Are you prepared? Do you have a plan? Do you have timeframes for doing your bush fire preparations every year? Talk to neighbours and find out their plan and see if something similar works for you. You can stay at home and fight fires, but the mental toll of doing that can be crippling and possibly never recover. My plan is for the family to leave immediately, and I gather all our important stuff and follow as soon as possible.
i see repairing my house as a money saving hobby, got lots of plumbing, drywall, lumber, electrical, network, and car repair tools in the shed, garage and laundry room. i prefer to watch a diy vid on yt than any fiction, i guess my frugality drive me
When you hear a loud noise just think to yourself "Please be haunted and not something expensive..." it's what I do.
Oh, the stress? I remind myself that renters in my area are now paying twice what my mortgage is, and I bought just three years ago. It's a quick boost, and believe me, I've got at least a dozen fixes myself to do that I don't have the energy or money for.
If that's not enough, take a few weekends to at least hit what you can. Make a list and tackle things slowly as to not get overwhelmed. One by one, step by step.
For example, I used a week break to paint the kids room and it feels like a brand new home, even patching cracks and dealing with water damaged ceiling drywall (was minor, and the roofing was already fixed before I moved in). The rest of the house needs it, but it still made me feel like I did something.
Bought cheap and underestimated the effort needed to make it your ideal. At least that's my experience. It can get overwhelming at times but I find a certain peace I'm taking it as the demon you know. I get a lot of bugs in the spring when the weather starts to warm and it's damn annoying, but know that when the weather gets more stable they'll leave and I can get back to normal. It's sort of a zen thing to recognize that it's almost 100 years old, so yeah, there are going to be some annoyances, can't call it unexpected.
Basically just make it your own, and do what you can when you can. Unless you're rich and have all the resources/time in the world there's no point in getting in a panic that it can't all be done at once.
I don't see enough people mentioning this, but preventative maintenance can save you a lot of money.
Another thing I would recommend is to be familiar with the systems in your house, what fuel does your furnace use? What type of water heater do you have? how old are the fuses in the fuse box? Does your electrical panel have a surge protector? Do you have a water pump should your basement begin to flood? Do you have a generator panel? Knowing how these work can save you money on trouble shooting.
For example, if you live in an area with lots of squirrels, it might be worth putting up chicken wire on any entrance to the attic from the outdoors. Ex: air vents. If I would have done this, I would have saved $900 from chewed wires that could have started a fire.
Drop of water depends on where the water is. Watch online videos to diagnose problems, it's the opposite of doing this for personal health. People have some crazy cheap ways to address issues.
Crack, draw a line parallel to the crack on each side. Measure it and it on the wall. Check back and see if the measurement is changing. Patch it if it's stable. If it's not stable, probably not good news, start with videos of what others have done.
Ants are the easiest. There are barrier sprays that will keep out any insects. Fall instructions on the product but typically just spray it on the outside of the foundation once a year.
Houses are over engineers to stay standing up so don't worry too much. The expensive stuff will come around ever couple decades like roof replacement so plan for that but most everything can be remediated with little effort, especially if you don't care how it looks. You said it's a fixer up, each patch is just another layer to its character.
I don't have a fixer-upper per se, but the dude who flipped my place to sell it really cut corners. I do as many repairs myself as I can. I consult the Internet, local hardware shops, and people I know who have done home repairs. I'm currently dealing with a toilet that won't stop running unless I cut the water supply to it. I know that I need to replace all the parts in the tank, but I haven't been able to make it to the hardware store to get the parts.
Also redneck engineering temporary fixes is totally a valid strategy. My parents put flex seal on a fucked up part of their roof and it kept the leaks at bay for 4 years. It could have lasted longer, but they got the whole thing replaced.
My screen door is broken, and I haven't been able to replace it, so I have it tied open and held in place against my porch railing with some yarn. In bad storms, before it broke really bad, I used duck tape to keep it shut so it wouldn't go flapping around.
Parts of my porch siding (plastic lattice) would also start blowing around in bad storms, so I used spare boards to prop everything in place until I was able to cut all the lattice down.
Learn to fix these things.
I get ants turn up maybe once a year during summer. putting some ant killer powder down when they show up usually sorts them out.
DIY isn't too hard, plenty of vids on youtube about how to do more or less everything.
I did all the laminate flooring in the top floor of my sisters house using nothing but youtube, a dremmel and a mitre saw.
I probably should have invested in a laminate cutter in hindsight but i got it done
You get used to being house poor. You learn how to budget how much it really costs you to live.
It beats paying someone else’s bills. That’s for sure
When you think things are bleak as far as repairs/maintenance, look to local lenders in your community. Unless you made a significant down payment they probably sold your mortgage to Freddie but they still can give you loans on your home equity especially if going to pay for things that are going to put more equity in your home.
Do a task everyday.
Making sure to keep working on a fixer-upper by doing something everyday will help reach the goal of maintaining rather than falling behind. Focus on things that can get worse faster. Leaks and shorts would be a top priority that should not wait. KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF MAIN WATER AND POWER. Make sure this can be done quickly.
Invest in basic tools and have good relations with local repair persons, try to learn from them too as they fix stuffs. Hands on expertise is more helpful than theoretical how to knowledge. Also invest time in designing fail safe insect and paste management and plumbing. Bit of initial work usually pays off later.
My advice is to spend more time out of the house! The more I stew in the epicentre of the entropy and problems the more overwhelmed I feel by them and the harder it is to tackle them. Getting out can help to get some perspective and make you appreciate what you do have.
shitty...fixer upper
You have the best kind of house! Since its market value is already low you don't have to worry about all the stupid shit people fret over when their house is too valuable.
What's leaking?
How old are the cracks? If they're old, then whatever shifted already happened and no longer matters. Just keep an eye for new ones. Like a casual eye. Don't obsess over it.
And the more you open up to fix the more systemic problems you find. In an old/fixer house. Try to pick one project at a time. Spend some money when u have too. Have seen some smart people locate home improvement grants for upgrades/HVAC. You'll need to spend money. No avoiding it. In a couple years you'll forget how bad it all seemed and get used to the minor annoyances you haven't gotten too. And don't forget to learn some things. Buy a bug pump sprayer and specific chemicals on line. Learn how important gutters are and getting storm water away from the foundations. Get some rugs to cover the gaps and caulk the cracks. Most importantly A good partner for the decorating to make u forget it's a shitty house no matter how much work you put in
To answer your question I just drink a lot.
Depends on the condition of the home. Make sure you get a good inspection before buying and understand the ramifications of anything they find if you go ahead with a purchase. Things that eventually need to be replaced, likely in the lifetime you'll own it, are the water heater, refrigerator (assuming it is cheaper than replacing the compressor), HVAC and roof. Not terrible but you have to budget for it. Since you say you live in a "fixer upper" I'd say just keep it so it doesn't leak. Don't worry about ants as long as you keep all of your food sealed up and they aren't carpenter ants. If they are then you need an exterminator.
You WILL find the occasional bug, odd noise, scheduled repairs and replacements, etc. These aren't causes for panic. I can do most basic repairs but I leave plumbing and bigger electrical jobs to pros because they require specific skills, familiarity with the issues and lots of tools I wouldn't need again. Yard maintenance is just work. I call it my "gym" lol.
My mortgage payments will go down over time unlike rent that just goes up. On the downside my property taxes and insurance costs have gone up as the value of my home has gone up. I have great neighbors also.
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Practice triage: start with small, achievable projects that can be done on a weekend. Don't get overwhelmed. Be kind to yourself. Not every problem is immediate or needs fixing.
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If you have access to a local tools library, avail yourself of it fully. The staff are a treasure-trove of wisdom and knowledge. If not, talk to the oldest, crotchiest person at your local bardware store.
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There are so many single-use tools out there (favorite one is so you can unscrew the faucet bolt under a sink). If not, see if there's a community online board and post a request.
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Vintage appliances, windows, doors, etc are cool. A little elbow grease and they're in good shape. Junkyards and recycling centers are a treasure trove.
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If it involves anything hazardous or too heavy (gas, electricity, foundation), bite the bullet and seek professional help.
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Ants and cracks are small-fry. Baits and fillers are easy fixes. Focus on big ticket items. And remember, some things are best left alone (see triage, above).
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You're still better off owning a house and paying for repairs than paying rent. Even with the cost of repairs it's most likely cheaper in the long run and you're your own landlord.
Get handy. Fix things before they go bad, and learn basic construction on the way. Second hand tools are cheap, and there's a number of good youtubers to help in any situation. After you get your bearings, it turns into a fun way to make the place into what you want it to be. Nothing is terribly difficult, and materials can be had cheap if you're not in an emergency. Facebook marketplace allowed me to build a house for 70k over two years, and it's valued at 350k, and not finished yet. The experience gained led me to doing odd side jobs and reselling unused materials to keep paying for new additions. If you can replace your own water heater, you can replace someone elses for half the price of Lowes and still take home 700$ for three hours work. Pick up some resold tile and put in a bathroom wall. You'll find out what you did wrong in your own bathroom and won't mess up someone elses for some extra cash in a pinch.
Electrical work is my favorite. Know the code, and how to stay safe, and it's a lot of fun that the average person is HORRIFIED of. Get a good electricians multitool, a current tester, a drill and some tape, and you can perform miracles.
Most people will never afford a house. You don't have to fix it, you get to fix it, so take pride and make it somewhere you love to live.
All this is part of the game. What you save on not paying a landlord you pay in time keeping up with the place. Every ant and water drip is a challenge that you get to learn about fixing and make it your own. We're all lucky we live in a time where you can learn how to do anything from the internet.
I understand this will sound crazy. I started running, a lot. A few half marathons per year. It's a juxtaposition of enjoying the benefits and hating the activity.
The biggest benefit is being able to handle more stress, and deal with the stress better, in general. I tell myself during the first mile (as it's the most difficult to start), "I am expanding my capacity to endurance stress and suffering" it's shifted the way I look at problems.
A recent example: I paid a contractor to build a wall to split a room, and to install new flooring on the floor. It looked nice. A year later, I encountered a problem in the bathroom that exposed a leak that's probably existed since the work was done. The bathroom is being torn apart and completely redone by me. I'm not thrilled, and was absolutely pissed at first, but it's subsided much faster than it used to. I can't afford to hire someone again, but I do have another bathroom to use during this process, so it can wait. It's shifted my perspective, and I'm seeing this now as "expanding a set of skills that can be useful again" instead of completely dreading it. Of course I prefer this didn't happen 😊 but wishing reality is different doesn't help anything.
I'm in the same boat. Bought a home in 2020. It's been a constant stream of fixes and updates and replacements. My mortgage payments are high enough. Now we're dumping thousands of dollars on flood prevention, evestrough replacement, random leaky pipes, furnace cleaning, deck refinishing, grass and landscaping. Wife and I both work full-time. We are dipping into savings to upkeep our home. I totally regret it. Should have bought a 2-3bed condo instead. At least we could plan for the monthly condo fees and not worry about sudden emergency fixes. I don't know. I hate it.
If you need to hire a tradesperson, find small companies, folks who work for themselves. We're WAY cheaper than the shops are and can usually a) make time for you and b) work with you on it all. Plus, we need the money more ;D
For real though, I just bought my first home a couple years back and I get it. There's a lot I don't know still. It'll be alright, just keep an eye out for water damage. And if something starts sparking, cut the breaker off and call someone. Pretty much anything up to that point can be handled with YouTube and Harbor Freight.
Make more money.
You can do anything you put your mind to. I spent a significant amount of effort (~1500 hours over 11 months) completely remolding my partner and my first house, including re wiring and re plumbing with no previous experience.
If something goes wrong or you want to change something, seriously, you can do it all on your own. Spend some time researching the problem and watching videos of other people doing it. DIY everything and any issues will cost 10x less to fix.
General contractors are mostly just scammers who at best will do a shit job and rip you off, and at worse will actually make the situation worse and still scam you.
I had a shitty house and it is so stressful. Just do things as you can. #1 was metal roof so I didn't have to think about the roof ever again. Get tented for dry wood termites after paying off the roof (they are everywhere here but very slow eaters). Get flooring one room at a time. Learn enough plumbing to replace fixtures, and get new piping throughout house after recovering.
My only real tip is get roommates, split these costs among more wage earners or if you know someone handy and homeless let them live with you for free and pay them a little for the work too.
Sorry no. My condo is massively in need of renovation and I was saving and planning for it before I lost my job so luckily that ended up being a thing to get me through it.
Like the others said, try to do the stuff on your own. YouTube has helped me tons with that but I still don't touch electrical work. :)
For some of the other posts I see here, in case you have these problems in the future. These aren't in order of importance.
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Powdered ant killer that comes in the tube is better than those little ant traps. Don't waste your money on traps.
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I had a groundhog living under some cement steps in the backyard. Tried all sorts of things to evict him, but didn't want to kill or hurt him. Tried repellents, moth balls, pepper powder, etc. Tried filling in the hole repeatedly. eventually I got pissed and started dumping the cat box in the den. I only had to do it once.
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If you're paranoid about burglars, neighbors, etc. get some motion sensing lights for outside. And the cheapest home security cameras you can get. I started with some very cheap Blink wifi cameras (battery powered, about $100 for 4 on Woot!) years ago. Upgraded last year to mains powered Blink LED lights and cameras. Then when I went on vacation for a couple weeks, I pulled the battery cameras out of the drawer and set them up strategically inside the house. Blink charges a monthly subscription now (I grandfathered in before they charged), so plan accordingly.
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know where all the shutoffs are, and how to use them. Power, Water, Natural gas, etc. And DON'T FUCK WITH NATURAL GAS! Let the professionals do it. I guy near Detroit killed his entire family last year swapping out a hot water heater himself. He survived. The house was no longer there.
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Smoke alarms, get them. at least one for every level, PLUS one in every bedroom. Get the connected alarms that set off the entire house when one goes off. CO detectors too, if you have appliances that burn stuff.
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Find the little things that are easy to fix. Recently I had two sections of my laminated flooring that started to peel. I got some low profile transaction strips and set them up. Worked out that the area to repair the actual divide between my living room and dining room so it looks like it was supposed to be there.
Not a home owner yet, but I just purchased a home and waiting on the handover.
This post has been really helpful! Certainly in writing some stuff down to remember 😅
It's yours. Every single thing you can fix is one less thing you need to fix and adds towards your home being more yours.
I bought a house almost 100 years old, badly upkept throughout the years (someone thought it was a good idea to cover wood with cement without making sure it would not wick moisture), severely modified (it was divided into 5 separate apartments) and altered (I have a shower stall inside a bedroom!), it has a lot of work to be done and I sure have too litle time but I'll be damned it's mine!
I love owning a home but fuck it’s expensive. Learn how to do stuff yourself is the best advice I can give you.
I have saved so much money being able to troubleshoot and repair simple things like hvac, electrical, plumbing, woodworking, etc. YouTube is amazing for learning this stuff. A good example: I recently had to replace two hvac condenser fans that would have likely cost me a $1000 a pop to fix. It’s bad enough the motors themselves were $300 a pop. Plumbing is easy if you have the right tools (pex is awesome). Electrical can be pretty easy if you’re willing to learn (I was a computer engineer in college and a system architect by trade so I get the electrical stuff). Learn how to patch holes in drywall. You’d be surprised how much you’ll be doing that. Learn how to replace a faucet. Learn how to replace the inwards of a toilet.
The great thing about a fixer upper is you can afford to make mistakes. Take your time, don’t rush it. Make little improvements all the time. It all adds up.
Tequila and weed?