A couple years ago I was out hunting with a friend and we saw a porcupine. My dad had always told me they were delicious and it was in season so I took my shot. Once we had the meat I thought I would take the hide home and harvest the quills.
Good. Lord. Porcupines are filthy creatures. I had a Rubbermaid full of soapy water and I was pulling the quills and guard hairs out and then trying to wash them free of literal shit.
But basically all I was doing was shit-needle acupuncture all over my hands. I was sure I was gonna end up with some sort of porcupine aids or something.
I spent a good 3-4 hours trying to clean the largest of the quills and guard hairs, and then I said fuck it. Took my fistfull of "clean" quills and put the rest in a few old paper bags and into the green bin.
I found quills in my clothes almost a year later. While visiting a friends house in jeans I had NOT been wearing, while out ice fishing (in the bibs I wore), in my sock one day.
I'm sure there aren't that many people on here that have been considering taking a porcupine and trying to weave/craft with its quills. But please, don't do it.
Salvia Divinorum
At one point in time I could probably have been convinced to try a lot of things. Fortunately for me (probably) Salvia Divinorum was the first thing I tried after marijuana, and it so thoroughly destroyed any notion I had that I could control my experience that it put me off trying just about everything else I was curious about.
Thank god the entire experience is single digit minutes.
Anal(probably)
No me gusto poopoo en mi peepee
I went to a Young Life gathering to try and meet people at uni freshman year. The first one was a slightly awkward BBQ at someone's off campus house. The second was on campus event that dropped off into that Uncanny Valley of mormon-like sing-alongs and activities.
My buddy and I surveyed the room, felt the hair on the back of our necks prickle, and we got out of there.
If you've seen Heretic or The Endless, it gave off those religious vibes. Too happy/smiley. Too weirdly perfect. Everyone talking about volunteering at kids camps over the summer and how fulfilling it was.
Like, I'm glad that people found something they liked. But it wasn't people talking about real stuff, like their awesome mountain biking adventure over the summer, or volunteering overseas to rescue animals, or even getting over alcoholism. It was all hyper religious forced positivity, and this is coming from someone who grew up religious.
Technically, I guess this was twice, but <HankHill>the mari-hwanas</HankHill>.
Smoked a little in a perfectly lovely part of Amsterdam with my wife, who importantly is NOT a chronic overthinker who was raised by uptight Southern-fried Mormons, but I just immediately got paranoid and was obsessed with the likelihood that two random Dutch guys were staring at me and planning something bad. The fact that ten years later I still think it was possible they were eyeing us, while she is completely dismissive, tells me I do not need to be smoking pot.
Also tried some edibles in the hotel room, but that just made me sleepy with nothing particularly fun happening, though admittedly nothing bad happened either. Very "Meh."
Tried snowboarding, never again.
Turns out, your legs need to be really strong, or you’ll have your hands on the ground too often. If that happens like every minute, your shoulders are not going to be pleased with that. I have a feeling that this short experiment may have caused some minor damage my physiotherapist was unable to detect.
Go to a concert. I was young, but it was so loud and crowded that I cried. I know that's the concert experience, but it's too much for me. I don't do live performances that aren't theater/Orchestra.
Not because I needed confirmation, but because I thought it might be a way to connect to other with similar worldviews...
I joined an atheist meetup group. Well, let me just say the only thing we had in common was just that, the atheistic view.
Beyond that it was a random mishmash of people with whom I had nothing in common. And it was immediately revealed to me that there is some kind of sickness in the overall community of those folks, I immediately realized how insane it was to continually discuss something that you don't believe exists.
I mean yeah, we were all coming because of the stated reason of shared atheistic view, but how irrational is it to hyperfocus on something that doesn't exist???
And the other thing, I assumed there would be some kind of intellectual rigor that was present in each person that came to be an atheist, and I found that was not the truth at all. These folks were just as ludicrous and ridiculous as people that believe in homeopathy and every other nonsensical concept.
I couldn't get the hell out of there fast enough, and I will never ever go back. I will never socialize with anybody who's identity is so deeply tied to atheism
I went to professional thai massage therapy recommended by my colleagues. I had extreme reservations because of... well, you know, it's a thai massage. But my colleagues swore that the salon was legit, very professional, articulate staff, no sexual component included, very relaxing, does wonders for your neck. So what the hell, as a desk jockey my neck hurts all the time, I'll give it a try.
Cautiously, I booked a neck and shoulder massage online. When I turned up, there was no receptionist, just a harried-looking middle-aged thai lady who spoke not a word of any language comprehensible to me. She hustled me into a bare room with a forlorn massage table in the middlle, and told me via Google Translate to remove my clothes.
Startled to obedience, I removed my button-up shirt and approached the table. This did not go down well with the lady, who prodded me with a bony finger and indicated that t-shirt and trousers should go too. I tried to point out that I had booked a neck and shoulders massage but to no avail. CLOTHES OFF SIR nagged the phone screen.
So there I was, in my embarrassing tighty whities shivering in a cold room, wishing I had worn my "Sounds GAY I'm in" boxers, undoubtedly about to be ravished by an increasingly annoyed thai lady who kept prodding and poking me towards the table.
I'll not go into details about what happened, except it was not in any way what I was expecting. She mauled me with a strength of dozen bears, cracking my joints, pulverizing my buttocks. She turned my unwilling chubby body into such contortions that I had to squeeze my sphincter shut as if my life depended on it, in order not to rip out a series of massive farts. I'll give her that there indeed was no happy ending, but it was an hour of absolute agony and I when I finally limped out, tears in my eyes, belt undone and my shirt buttons crooked, I felt like I had been waterboarded by CIA for weeks.
I don't think I need to say that it was the first and last massage in my life.
Velocicoaster at Universal Studios. It was just way too intense. There were multiple times where I felt like I was gonna fly out of my seat for a few seconds at a time.
Thinking on it, also the Superman and Green Lantern coasters at Six Flags. I can't handle the climb on the superman coaster, since you are staring down at the ground the whole time, and since the Green Lantern coaster is a standing coaster, you either give yourself a little room and destroy your knees or you lock yourself in and destroy your balls.
Windsurfing. Cold, wet, miserable, bored of falling off a stuggling back on and picking up the sail. Not for me.
Recently? I got graston done on my knees (https://painhero.ca/blog/the-graston-technique-what-is-it-and-how-effective-is-it)
Might work well for some, but I could barely walk for a week.
Weed and alcohol. I don't want to go on that ride again.
My Dad and I impulsively got on the Zipper ride at the festival. Absolutely loved it, will never ever do it again, 10/10, do not recommend
Ate aspic.
I tried cooking an Asian dessert. It tasted like sweetened scrambled eggs.
Went to a corrida in southern France. Apparently it went particularly bad. It was horrific to watch (for the bull).
Walking into an IKEA store.
It was a sensory nightmare.
I know that there a lot of IT people on Lemmy, and it fits the stereotype, but quite a few of the posts in this thread really scream "I tried XY but it meant physically tiring stuff!" Lol
