How's your week going, Beeple?
How's your week going, Beeple?
@alyaza@beehaw.org is MIA currently, but this weekly thread has been so awesome to see and keep going; so I am making what would be her typical post for this week. Alyaza; stay safe friend, I hope everything is okay.
Beeple, how's your mid week going so far??
It's pretty bad. I am a freshly graduated programmer, I am pretty confident with my programming skills but I can't find a job for 5 months now. I'am trying to make my communication skills better tho cuz English is not my first language but yeah.
Edit: just got an invitation for a job interview wish me luck!!!
Same boat here, haha. My spouse is a senior dev and mentors me when needed but even that isn't helping. I'm just working voluntarily for someone that was my instructor but I am pretty much refactoring the code most of the time, lol.
oh, we got this!!
Good luck with the interview!
Even if you aren't going to work there for whatever reason, the first interview is normally what sets things in motion and makes other opportunities start popping up all around you.
I have no idea why it's this way, but it's my personal observation and what most people I know tell me, so based on lots of anecdotal evidence.Yeah I've been in a few interview and yeah what you said about the first interview thing is right. At least every month I had one to two interviews and the last interviewer said that I need to improve on my English verbally like expressing my self, my ideas and less "umm/uhhh" moments.
That's great news, and fantastic timing! Good luck on the interview, though I'm sure you've got this.
Thank you and I will do my best
Edit: just got an invitation for a job interview wish me luck!!!
Glad to hear it! Good luck, you've got this! 💪
One of my loved ones is in hospital (in another town) so I'm really hoping they are okay.
I still feel really shy about posting here, but I'm trying to be more myself on the internet lately. Or in general.
My prayers and sympathy. I also hope your loved one gets better soon and has a good prognosis.
Thank you! And thanks for starting the thread I like these, though I mostly lurk.
Sending positive thoughts, hope they pull through
Thank you! They are a huge believer in positive thoughts so I will tell them they are getting some extra!
Been pretty chill so far!
Playing some baldurs gate 3 and studying for the az-305 test. Looks like the role based tests are going to be open book with access to Microsoft Learn soon.
My girlfriend moved in after a year and a half as well, got lots of organizing and remembering how to live when it’s not just you in the house again. Been almost 3 years since I’ve had someone else around haha. Going wonderfully so far!
That's so cool! It's so enjoyable to learn that side of someone you love as well, all the little things you only know about someone if you live with them.
I agree!
Nice to hear someone is having a great day.
Not super great. I had a planned surgery this Tuesday that the anesthesiologists cancelled last minute because I had some mild symptoms they weren't comfortable with. Given that this surgery involves two surgeons and a robot it may be some time before it gets rescheduled but I'm currently left in the dark- both of the surgeons regular schedulers are off so they're trying to find someone else to figure it out and they need to use OR time for the other surgeon because the main surgeon is booked into December. I'm a bit worried it's gonna be a rather long wait but I won't know for a bit- they asked to give them until next Monday to sort out a schedule 😔
So I'm gonna need to figure out support again whenever they decide to book me, and probably will need to go back to work for an unknown period of time 🫠
That must be incredibly frustrating, but it's also good to see the anaesthetists take their job so seriously. Hope you don't have to wait too long
Yeah honestly a lot of feelings I'm dealing with right now but frustration is one of the top ones. I wish I could cry about it but that's just not in the cards right now
It's often hard to be married to someone with PTSD. I haven't had a very good week. In fact, I've not had a very good year. My nephew committed suicide, my parents aren't doing so well, and I feel like I have no one to talk to. I listen, but I don't really talk. And when I do speak, I feel like people don't understand me. If I show even the slightest vulnerability, I get told I'm playing the victim, so I try to keep a cheerful exterior.
The best things I have are: My discord buddies (really the closest friends I've got, which I know is pathetic), and I actually like my job and see what we do as praxis (though it's been harder and harder not to feel like I'm just doing zombie mode).
There's just a deep and profound sadness inside me, and my emotions are so raw that I just curl up like an armadillo.
The only moments I feel alive are when I'm on my longboard or bicycle. I keep thinking I should try to become closer friends with my longboarding pal because otherwise we probably won't talk much in winter. I also reconnected with a friend who I used to be very close friends with back in high school, so I should work on that friendship, too.
just saying, you should definitely invest in therapy if you can afford to and you do not already. it sounds like you're dealing with some difficult relationship mechanics on top of having a rough year in general.
I feel like I have no one to talk to. I listen, but I don’t really talk. And when I do speak, I feel like people don’t understand me. If I show even the slightest vulnerability, I get told I’m playing the victim, so I try to keep a cheerful exterior.
Not exactly the same thing, but when my partner was laid up from a broken leg, I was their primary caretaker and i ran into something similar. I felt very deeply that I was going through a difficult struggle as their caretaker, what with juggling all of the added responsibility with my job and everything. My partner is the person i would usually talk to about this kind of feeling, but anytime I brough it up, they would shut me down, saying that they didn't want to hear how hard i had it while they were also suffering from their painful fracture. My thinking was that we could share our struggles with each other, and that would be healthy, but my partner disagreed, saying that hearing my struggles made them feel bad. When I talked to my therapist about this, she agreed with my perspective, stating that providing emotional support was the least my partner could do. Hearing that from an outside perspective really helped me get through that time.
I'm sorry you're going through it, bud. I hope those new friendships you've been cultivating pan out ❤
Than you for the thoughtful response. It's encouraging to know that someone understands a bit what this is like.
I agree with the therapy idea. It's hard to pick up the phone. I feel like they bombard me with questions I can't answer the moment I call, but I need to get past that discomfort and try. I feel like I've had a really hard time finding a good therapist. I had one for a short amount of time, but she moved away from my state which, I don't blame her.
It's also scary how much money it can cost, but it's my life. I've got to do it.
I feel like people don’t understand me. If I show even the slightest vulnerability, I get told I’m playing the victim
Sorry to hear. I'm well into several years of trending that direction and facing the realization that I have very little control over it.
I find that big waves of this attitude have been hitting multiple societies, we are told to "pick ourselves up by our own bootstrap" and seek "private personal therapy" - but there is no real weather report about how people are under the influence of many different information systems and outright campaigns to influence attitudes and reactions.
There’s just a deep and profound sadness inside me, and my emotions are so raw that I just curl up like an armadillo.
it's become a lifestyle for a year for me now, and the couple years before that weren't much more than a couple people with semi-neighborly contact. It's not a nice precipice to observe and realize you are folding into.
My brother got COVID, and he infected me as well. Tuesday was a bit shit during the evening, Wednesday was totally shit, the whole day, and today it seems better, but it's still shit nonetheless.
Could be worthwhile giving @alyaza@beehaw.org a call if you know her in real life.. It is a bit of a worry honestly based on her last post she hasn't dropped by in 10 days (especially considering her last weekly update).
We have been in communication.
Good to hear. Just wanted to make sure
Well...the good news is I submitted my letter of resignation for my job, which I am thrilled about. I'll have better pay and flexibility and work for a company that has more than adequate staffing and support.
The bad news is my boss is trying to do EVERYTHING she can to get me not to leave. I told her no 6 different ways to no avail. She doesn't respect boundaries. My supervisor that left a year and a half ago said it took her three times to leave. I had a meeting with boss yesterday and felt so manipulated it was disgusting. I also have to give a month's notice so it's going to be a long 3 weeks. I'm hoping that once I sign a contract at my new job (hopefully tomorrow), that will get my boss to let it go.
The key is to let them know that you don't give a damn about them anymore.
Worsening 📉
Last week I got my trauma appointment, fast tracked from next year, which was a nice surprise, and the doctor, nurses and staff turned out to be really nice and helpful, more than usual 😀. This week it turned out they've also fast tracked another appointment for a test, called me Monday to go right on Tuesday 😯... which turned out to basically confirm that my left leg is partly MIA, while the right is only slightly better 🤦. The next day I got a notification of another fast tracked appointment, for rehabilitation... and noticed that they've switched it form "normal" to, not just "priority", but "urgent"... which explains the whole fast tracking, and now got me really worried 😟.
I can still walk around, but ever so slower, have to take a seat every few minutes, if I walk for too long I start falling over, can't stay seated for too long without my back killing me, even on painkillers, and my left arm full on wakes me up at night when they wear off. Work is off the table, can barely do anything around the house, going to the nearest pharmacy requires "going uphill both ways" (literally), can't start tackling the other problems like debt, inheritance (more debt, plus taxes, plus family drama), can't really make any plans for the future, and next week I might end up home alone (with cats) without anyone to lend a hand.
On the "bright" side, the brain fog I've had for about a year after last time I got COVID, seems to be slowly lifting, which makes me see everything more clearly... or how many fires I've got to put off 🔥😰🔥
I’m going through a rough patch with my partner. I’m feeling really guilty about it, but they need time.
Rough patches are rough but it sounds like you are giving them the space they need. Hope it works out soon!
Not horrible, in general. The saga of the CPAP continues. Some nights I sleep well, some nights I don't. I suppose I'm sort of getting used to it? Last night was not good so that's colouring everything.
I saw a doctor who agreed to start me on post-menopausal HRT, as I have a family history of severe osteoporosis. I can think of about fifty other reasons I want to be on HRT, so I'm delighted.
My adult son and I made up from the huge fight we had last week, and I was able to come out of my room. The gist of the fight is that I need my adult kids to adult more than they do. I'm tired of managing the household. I know that in our location neither kid has the option of moving out (there's a severe housing crisis and even if you find a place, rents are crazy expensive). I can live with that, but I can't live with them doing nothing and leaving all the household chores to me like I'm the maid.
The Blindboy Podcast brought up this problem (adult children living with their parents because of the housing crisis) on one of his recent podcasts, but he framed it from the point of view of the adult children. I'm interested to hear what kind of struggles you face on the opposite side, apart from what you've just mentioned here. How did you picture your life when you got to this stage and how has that changed?
My own parents were of the "you're an adult, look after yourself" generation, and my parenting style was the opposite of what they did. My kids were told they'd always have a home with me, and I meant it. I didn't foresee that they'd still be at home at 28 and 21 years of age with no chance of them moving out anytime...well, it's starting to feel like they might be here for good. It feels like there can be no end to it, we live in a rural area and that means no jobs as well as no houses.
I won't lie, I was looking forward to my kids being grown and gone (with loads of visits of course). I'm struggling a lot lately. I never have any privacy in my own house, I'm having to lay down the law about things like voice chatting in the living room. My kids ought to have more privacy too, I sympathise with their side of it too. My 21 year old is in a bloody box room, god knows it's not easy for any of us.
Apologized to a new friend over email, and as soon as I saw she wanted to call in her reply I got her on the phone and we talked things through.
Also I broke a nail and now my thumb looks like a baby's thumb and it creeps me out.
It's really nice to have friends who are willing to talk things through. So many problems can be overcome by good communication.
I've realized not so long ago how absolutely terrible I am at communication. It's like when you reach a new level in a skill and suddenly you see how much you didn't know that you don't know.
I recently recieved a bit of offhand news that has made me a lot more relaxed about an important meeting I have at the end of September.
I was speaking with a person I used to work with about a trip he and his fiancé took recently when he caually mentioned out of nowhere that the HR manager at work retired at the end of July. That random little fact sent my mind into a whirlwind for a couple days.
Just over a year ago I had been terminated from my job as an apprentice at a place that builds automation assembly lines. That termination came after I had brought up concerns and frustrations with how the company had begun treating people after covid arrived. I also brought up concerns about workplace culture and how toxic it had become.
I had been terminated approximately 10 months after the monthly employee meeting where I first confronted the GM (General Manager) about how apprentices were being treated poorly and not learning the proper skills. This is important because once people start retiring, there is going to be a huge skill and knowledge gap.
After that monthly meeting, I had a meeting with the fairness committee followed by a meeting with the HR manager with the fairness committee member on "my side." That second meeting was basically me getting belittled and blamed for 3.5 hours.
Unhappy with the results and dealing with my declining mental health, I reached out to the corporate HR manager about the abusive management at my company and this manager made a huge effort to help me. She taught me all my rights as an employee, encouraged me to get help through the corporate employee hotline and when that failed, set up a meeting with me and her boss while beginning an investigation into the abusive environment at my company. Unfortunately before that meeting, my company terminated my employment.
I retained a lawyer and after about a year of some back and forth (things got delayed significantly because my lawyer got covid) I finally submitted my wrongful termination case against my company to the labour board. Up until this point I felt so uncertain and stressed about everything and was really doubting my decisions.
About a month after my submission to the labour board, my company replied back with 16 pages trying to have my case thrown out and attacking my character. They also responded through an outside law firm and not the corporate in-house lawyers. About 1.5 months after my submission, the HR manager retires. I found out she was scheduled to retire in 2024.
Suddenly my mediation meeting with the labour board and my company doesn't seem so intimidating. Corporate refused to legally support my company and the HR manager retires early and is now back home in Central America. A key figure in all of this who conveniently will not be able to attend the labour board meeting.
I have no idea if those two things are related to my case and I may never truly know but it sure is convinient for me. I did leave that company in good standing with corporate so I'm left to believe that corporate has been taking serious action with my company. Action that may have also included updating workflow, security and logistics (costing the GM and management huge money), and cracking down on workplace safety issues (costing the GM and management even more money).
After covid arrived, my dislike of corporations only grew but I think it's pretty humorous to watch corporate turn it's back on my company. It's beautiful in it's own bureaucratic-hellscape kind of way.
My goal at the labour board meeting is going to get my job back and hopefully getting a public apology at the monthly employee meeting while sending a problematic manager to a training course regarding abusive behaviour. After being forced to confront my own mortality through their abusive and negligent behaviour, money means nothing to me. No amount will bring back the dignity this place took from me and the others who work there. I'm hoping my actions are able to throw some power back into the hands of the employees and other workers there as well as bring more awareness to mental health issues.
And to think, I probably wouldn't have gone down this path if it weren't for the head fairness committee member telling me that I should just suck it up. That I should just wait for all these problematic people to retire. He told me I couldn't change anything. His attempt to de-escalate the situation by demotivating me may have backfired slightly.
Not too bad, actually!
It's been a while since I've last said that, and I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe I should appreciate the seemingly insignificant things more.
It's summer here, and the sun has shown no mercy for a week now, but we've got A/C in the bedroom and living room so we can actually (mostly) enjoy the hot weather.
I've built a PC from spare parts and set it up in the shade next to the pool. This has been my office this week. I can watch the dogs wander around and sniff things and spend the work breaks scuba diving to depths of up to 150cm (5 feet).Yesterday it dawned on me that this is probably as close as most people I know will ever get to "living the dream". It's awesome. And I'm feeling a bit guilty for having "made it" when so many of my friends haven't (yet).
Has this really happened to me, of all people?I've made a breakthrough at work to automate one piece of particularly stupid and repetitive work, and I can't wait to get it through testing and discuss it with the person having to do that work.
The teenage kids have been mostly content and busy, so no unnecessary drama for a while. This alone is a massive improvement of our quality of life.Now all SO and me need to do is find ways to better defend our free time against work and the kids, and we're pretty much exactly where we've always wanted to be.
Oh, and sleep better.Talked with a bunch of current and ex-coworkers about what a shit storm the workplace is. I don't know that I'll ever have enough motivation to leave.
Work is going crazy because 1 project got behind schedule and then another project got behind schedule as a consequence of the first project going off. Waterfall workflows, man.
But it's looking ok. As long as I keep lifting afterwork and vibing out when I'm too tired, I think I'll be ok lol
Thank goodness for flex hours and wfh though. I don't know how I'd survive without being able to take a massive break away from it when it gets to be too much
It's been a good but intense week so far. Back to work with a 3 day intensive python course, which was interesting (and a long time coming, I have asked for training for 3 years now). Looking forward to putting it into use now I understand the basics.
Otherwise not a lot to write home about. Looking into new choirs prior to the new term starting, in one already but quit the second one I was in as the music wasn't to my taste.
I haven't eaten in 2 days because of having my wisdom teeth out.
And I bought some red scrubs to use as pajamas; they're incredibly comfy.
Hang in there. I had all mine pulled a few months ago and after the 2nd or 3rd day my mouth still hurt but I felt so much healthier overall. I lived on smoothies and mashed potatoes that first week. Only regret was not having it done years ago.
So many of you are going through difficult times that it's a little hard to say: my week is going awesome.
I'm back at work, which is great because I love teaching.
We've almost finished the work on our house that we'd planned to do this summer.
And today I visited a gay sauna for the second time, starting to explore my bisexuality with my (straight) significant other's blessings.
A bit stressful, but I'm doing okay. I'm in the middle of moving right now. Got all my stuff out so now I'm just cleaning. I've got until September 1st so I feel like I'm in a good place!
i love getting a full month to move. absolutely the way to go if u can afford it.
For sure, I couldn't imagine trying to do all this in a week or a single day, it's daunting enough to have to do it all in a month lol
My life is weird right now.
I retired as a roller derby skater in late June, and since then, have just really been enjoying my free time and not committing to anything. It's wonderful. It's also a tad weird.
Of course, with the heat index getting up to 115 here, I haven't been able to do much, so I'm just enjoying my wonderful apartment.
Life's pretty swell.
Sallie Mae has been calling me every morning at 8:15 and every afternoon around 2:00. I would be having a better week if they didn't harass me every single day (and yes it is every single day).
Check out debtcollective.org You are not a loan.
Average week except for blood test results. The doc said I start taking care of my health now, or risk heart attack at 40 among other health complications. I need to do some more tests and see other specialities... start taking caring of stuff I haven't for years.
I really need to move my ass. Both figuratively and literally.
Shit like this sucks when it starts to catch up with you, because it's never at a good time. I sent a single blood pressure reading to my GP and they immediately demanded a full week's worth as I was borderline hypotensive, so I'm also hoping that shit isn't too fucked up and need to move my ass in more than one way. Just waiting on the energy from my ADHD medication to start to boost so I can actually start to function though which sucks...
You got this. I have committed to myself to go and get a proper checkup and bloods in a couple of months (life is HECTIC at the moment)..and I am kinda dreading the cholesterol readings. Got heart disease in the fam and I am getting to that age. See ya back here for boot camp in November?
It's been alright I guess. Though, I started catsitting for my old housemate today and she's been overfeeding them to a crazy degree. I basically raised one of the cats, so it's pretty upsetting.
My partner got infected with covid on vacation and now I have it too, so the weekend isn't going to be as fun as I had planned :(. Other than that the week was pretty good tho!
Pretty decent, finally started my ADHD medication so I'm mostly waiting for that to start taking effect, it'll probably take a good month or so which sucks because I am so fucking tired of waiting but I don't have much other option.
So I have this and next week last shifts and my mood can be expressed by this song.
Next month I will start in small brewery (3 people) and I hope that it will be much better job than that I am leaving.
Eh, not bad I guess. I'm laid off for a few days (can't pave in the rain) so I'll have to collect a week of unemployment, but on the other hand it gives me time to get some things done around the apartment and see some friends that live nearby.
Other than that, trying to play Armored Core VI without getting frustrated with the difficulty, and eagerly awaiting Starfield's early release on Labor Day weekend.Aaaaaa. I started Estradiol Valerate injections Wednesday and I'm every emotion at once. My first time giving myself a dose went better than anticipated, being terrified of needles and such. Scared for the future, if I can financially maintain the cost of the medication and if the fascist state government here leaves medicare coverage for my needs alone. I'm also debating whether or not to give up writing for some time. I'm not very productive due to depression and brain fog. Idk.
Hope everyone gets through the week safe and sound.
Ended a brief romantic relationship. Had a lot of fun, but it wasn't tenable for many reasons, and had already stayed in it too long. Went smoothly but my ex is now acting as if nothing has changed. Retaining a friendship would be nice, though I cannot be close with this person, but will have to be actively distant if it turns out that they're hoping we're actually still a thing.
Otherwise bruised all over & aching joints from trying to change the battery of a smoke detector on a very high ceiling in a very tiny bedroom. No, I didn't fall from a height (or at all) just shoving furniture & ladders around. In the end had to hire someone to come and do it for me, as just don't have sufficient core & hand strength to balance & stretch high with both hands. Inability to do something so basic has me feeling very vulnerable about the future... taking up pilates or whatever would help build strength, and this feeling ought to be motivating, but paralysed with despondence instead.
i had my first dog/house sitting gig last weekend. also went to the annual soap box car race which is always a blast. had a slow start to this week, but then did a small/quick group bike ride with the meetup i run. just now heading out to meet with another dog/house sitting client for a future stay, then probably hanging out somewhere downtown.
oh! and the foster dog has his specialist consult on monday, which i'm really happy about. i love fostering, but i honestly didn't expect him to stay this long, haha.
Bonkers. Had to take a sick day to take care of my mental health
Mental health days are underrated, and much needed. Good on you! Take more mental health days.
I forgot about this thread because of how busy the week has been. It feels like this week has been a month. I had to guide eight new students around campus while keeping up with the new changes in a tight schedule. They were a chaotic bunch, but fortunately pretty responsible. I felt sorry for some others because their mentees were troublemakers or just dramatic.
I'm never doing this again lol. It's a nice experience to have once, but I don't like how I get a random group of people that are possibly good or bad. Yesterday I was recuperating from the madness. Today, I think I'll need to face some issues I put aside for this job. But man, I'm so sleepy.
Meh. Could be better, but it's not all that terrible.
Tired as usual, but that's normal and not going to change, so it's not super relevant anymore.
Women's World Cup was a welcome distraction, but now I have to find something else that I can occupy myself with. Maybe I should just watch the NWSL. I just find American accents weird when it comes to football commentary.
Most of the other leagues only kick off sometime next month. Difficult to find official streams/broadcasters where I live, but I've at least found some (kind of surprised that NWSL is just straight up free on the official site for everyone living outside the US and Canada).
Not interested in video games. Maybe when Starfield's out I'll have something to do in that medium, but nothing right now is grabbing me and I'm honestly bored of gaming in general.
I'm slightly annoyed at my kid's new school. My kid is getting ready for school in a Chinese immersion program, which is great, but the new school wants to gently ramp up with half days with parent participation, with only part of the class signed up for specific half-day blocks. This is annoying because parents, you know, have jobs to go to, and taking 3 hours in the middle of the workday to get the kid to school, stay with them for a half day, and bring them home early is pretty inconvenient. Plus the days my kid isn't participating (with other half classes signed up), I've gotta get childcare coverage.
Can't wait until we get to the normal 8:30am start time with regular after school care.
It's finally going to be cooler in my area this week, and it's going to rain! I can finally study at my schools library without sweating like a pig and getting sunscreen in my eyes because of it.
It's been a good week! My work schedule was adjusted to be a bit less crazy for me, and something I can handle a bit more - which I am certainly grateful for (we're a small team, so schedule changes impacts everyone otherwise I would've requested it a while ago). Additionally, my new medication for my mental health seems to be having some positive impact - its also causing a few side effects but I'll bring those up at my next appointment, and I'm sure we can make adjustments to curtail those a bit.
Finally, I saw my hematologist the other day, and my iron levels are finally in the green thankfully! At the beginning of the year, after having a check up with my doctor they ran their standard labs - I got a call the next day from him saying that I needed to immediately go to the ER for an emergency transfusion (my iron levels were so low, that standing up for even 10 minutes would cause me to be on the verge of fainting), so I'm definitely happy to hit that milestone, now it'll just be a matter of maintaining it.
So all around improvements around my work life, my mental health, and my physical health - its been a long time since I had such major wins under my belt so its a strange feeling. In a way, I'm still waiting for "the other shoe to drop" because that is how its been in the past. I'm hopeful though, and even that is something I'll gladly take! There are still plenty of things to work on, but that will always be the case, so I'm patting myself on the back this weekend and will be trying to relax a bit.
The week was ok. It was a good 3 outa 5.
I'm working on my next video ideas. I've got a couple floating around. It's been fun. Just trying to keep my momentum going.
It's rough, but I think it's a good week. Cleaning up my kitchen and dining room after a lengthy and messy renovation. So close to the point where they are back to normal, and just need to do a little more this week to reach that sweet feeling of normalcy.
Is this only available to Beehaw members, or are others allowed? Also, my week has been good. I’ve been enjoying the video game Duskers quite a bit. I’m not usually one for horror, but it’s still really fun
