Yeehaw

If you cover yourself in ketchup and mayonnaise, are you Thousand Island Dressing?

Diggin' the Twin Peaks reference.

The latest fashion news: The French Dressing.

Only while you are actively putting them on, after that, you're just a ranch

That ssntenx scra.med mynbrain thogs

The cowboy hat always subtracts like half of what I would otherwise assume their IQ to be.

I have never seen or heard of someone smart wearing a cowboy hat. Outside of doing a satire or parody.