Hey! I may be grumpy, and bitter, and lash out at children, and trick people into neglecting God's Word but... What was that other thing you said?

I don't believe in a higher power. That's why I'm so fucking grumpy. It's certainly not because we can't have healthcare. It's not because of a genocide. It's not because workers are exploited. Not because our planet is destroyed. No, it's all because I don't believe in a cloud man.

Very advanced witnessing techniques are required, such as compromat or threat of hanging.

Witness to me and I'll gore you with my horns. Bah.

I wonder what they think of countries around the world, like Australia, where "non-relgious" is on the way to being the highest self-reported group (38.9%) beat out by Christianity (43.9%), in 2021.

You're not considered "weird" by having any religious belief, but you may find it hard to make friends outside your religion if you're deeply religious.

There's honestly some stigma against it. Which is well deserved.

I remember two adults acting as aegis for their child. The kid approached my door, handed me a flyer and asked me to come to his Jesus party. The parents were smiling hopefully. I have no idea what Jesus party even meant.

I kneeled and said flatly "There's no such thing as Jesus. Your parents and your pastor are lying to you."

They were HORRIFIED, the parents rushed up my stoop, the father literally grabbed the kid under his arm like a football and they fled.

Am I an asshole? No. That child needed to know he's being deceived.

The original source for this seems to have been here. I'm fairly sure it's a parody site, but it's honestly hard to tell these days.

https://objectiveministries.org/kidz/crafts.html

This is a bit more insidious than it appears- because it's asking kids to rat out atheists to religious officials.

There are absolutely areas in the US where being discovered as an atheist will ruin your life.

You cannot attempt to battle an atheist unless you're a level 10 Christian with at least a max level crucifix.

Avoid talking to them!

They might make sense, and we haven't finished indoctrinating you!

They call me godless when they use Comic Sans top to bottom.

Turns out, the Bible is wrong. The truth will not set you free. The truth makes you into a grumpy goat.

Oh shit. Atheist fursona.

I'm pretty sure it comes from here: https://objectiveministries.org/kidz/

I want to believe its satire but I honestly can't tell. If it is satire it is exceptionally well done.

witnessing techniques

I'm not even gonna ask.

I have become a megatheist. I buy into all the gods.

Holy shit. I can't believe I recognize this art.

This shit is ancient, and it was drawn as satire/bait. Nobody is handing out these flyers seriously. This post is rather embarrassing. Satire is dead I guess.

Edit: sources:

Source for text: scroll for text. I don't know where the goat went. This website is a high-effort satire page that hasn't been updated since like 2010. Looks real at first glance but just click around, it's clearly not a real church.

The word "witness" caught my eye. Is this a Jehovah's Witness thing?

Are they using child labour to hand out their shitty pamphlets now?

Yeah, I'm a grumpy atheist. Guess what, I was an even grumpier theist.

What a self-tell.

"Everyone that I am aware of being member of a group, is like that."

Mhm I wonder how you know that they are and why they are in a mood like that.

I love tricking people into neglecting god's word.

Why are they always so sad, or why are they so sad when there are evangelical christians around? Because I think it's the latter.

I was WAY more grumpy as a believer. Whoever wrote this probably pisses off all the atheists around them because they don't know how to treat them.

I like how rational sorrows about the state of the world is considered grumpy compared to mindlessly giving away any responsibility by praying.

Raped your wife/daugther? Pray! Got raped by family? Pray!! Pillaged an entire workforce for every dime they had, killing some of them by removing healthcare/firing them? Pray! Having no healthcare on the deathbed? Pray!!!Be an drunk asshole abusing your family? Pray!!!!!

Shut the fuck up an PRAY!!!!!!

I'm a Christian, the opposite happens as well. Why can't we discuss our beliefs in a civilized manner? I will never tell my "pastor" about an atheist or theist in my area. Especially considering I have atheist friends.

Mr. Guff sounds too much like McGruff, that talking dog narc that works for the FBI.

If I remember correctly this is from a site it gave fursona to other groups they didn't like including Jewish, and Islamic folks. It was an educational site directed to children

Damn it's like looking in a mirror.

I bet Mr. Gruff (and while I'm at it, Baphomet) has goat powers like being able to digest just about anything, and walk up slight inclined walls and cliffsides.

If you see someone who is grumpy and bitter rather than trying to witness to them (which doesn't work — we all force-fed Jesus the way we force feed geese) try bringing them cookies or inviting them to the community barbecue.

Father, we also have other related news, We have a cease and desist from the Almighty claiming that if we continue to use his name to push our own agenda he is ready to take legal action.

Oh yes, i really should be handled by an adult.

I am immensely more fulfilled and content now than when I thought there was a wizard in the sky who reads my mind and judges me

Guaranteed this was put out by a very clever anti social atheist

I was always so sad because I had to pretend to be a boy. Doing way better now.

I need that grumpy goat in tattoo form.

Just tell them to come back to you after they get everyone that's already Christian to agree on everything first.

Atheists are always pulling this face like they can’t believe how stupid and credulous the person they’re speaking to is. Every single one I’ve met does this.

So you're telling me it also reduces children and zealots disturbances? That's a great advertisment for it!

Why the smeary AI upscale version?

Leave Mr. Guff alone!

Handle us? You'll handle us? You know, your predecessors had much more respect.

These have been circulating for... at least a decade now.

This is AI generated, right? Looks off.

I gotta watch evil on Netflix. Its good! Lol.

“Why are they always so sad?”

Oh well, I guess believe whatever makes you feel good?

Good old Objective: Ministries.