Hubris

I just smack the tube on the counter

Whop your wad on the counter!
- The pullout technique

Did Guy Fieri, of all people, actually tweet that?

No. I’m sure that’s either photoshopped or a parody account.

We make our biscuits and cinnamon rolls in these parts. Worth the few more minutes effort. So no pop here. No judgment though, we are all busy.

I also make my own cinnamon rolls and it’s way more than a few minutes effort. Mix, rise for 1.5 hours, roll out, roll up, cut them all individually, another hour rise, and then you can bake them.

Granted, I do everything up to the baking and then freeze them, but it’s way more than a few more minutes.

Then again, now that I make my own cinnamon rolls I can’t stand anyone else’s.

(I don’t make biscuits so maybe they’re easier)
- Biscuits are way easier.
  
  There's a lot less steps

Be a manly man and twist the container open by rotating your hands opposite of the seam's direction. If you get in some real manly grunting and groaning you'll be pleasantly surprised to know that your manly courage won't be questioned because everyone will focus on the body.

Only way to do it.

Edit- apparently some people bash the can on a counter. Sounds even more fun I'll have to try.
Just give it a good scream like you're playing tennis
- Screams are right after the grunts in my opinion. They come uncalled.

Always thought they spent time designing the packaging to cause it to pop as a marketing gimmick. Only fun memories here

no it’s TERRIFYING!!!!

My partner makes me open these when we get them. They're so afraid to do it, it's like a jump scare every time.

Ditch the spoon. There's a reason they're called whomp biscuits. Whomp the side of the tube hard against the edge of the counter, with enough force to dispel all fear. It makes the pop feel right, expected, not scary. And the tiny violence gives a feeling of dominance.
- I just push on it with my hand

To all those afraid of opening a biscuit container there's a trick.

Gently peel the label off, then smack them on the counter long ways (long edge flat against the counter)

The scary part about opening them is using a minute amount of force and having them pop with many times the energy. When you apply a significant amount of force you're expecting the thud and the pop isn't scary at all.

Do people actually do the spoon thing? I always hit them on the edge of the counter.
- I never knew there was any other way until just now lol
- I just peel them a bit and twist

These things terrify the fuck out of me.

on more than one occasion i've had them detonate in my hand and launch biscuit dough out of the kitchen and across the next room, a distance that boggles minds and terrifies gods.

Guy's a philosopher

Ask not for whom the biscuits pop; they pop for thee.

He who fights with canned biscuits should look to it that he himself does not become a canned biscuit. And if you pop long into an biscuit roll, the biscuit roll also pops into you.
- Praise be to canned biscuits.
  Amen.