How to find long-term friend or partner online?

You have to be kinda attractive, I found my wife that way, she messaged me, that's how we met

I don't know much about how to enter into a relationship online; I know people who have done it, but it's never been something that I've been interested in. However, many of my strongest friendships were made online.

The trick to making friends online is to not set out with the intention of making friends. It's paradoxical, I know. What you should do is just find something that you're interested in, find places online you can talk about them, and try talking about them. Personally I like math, so I met some friends on internet math chatrooms and forums. I like Star Wars, and I made some good friends through talking about Star Wars online.

Many such places also have a casual conversation place attached. In niche communities where you (a) are already engaging with people with a common interest and (b) there's few enough people that you will see names and faces regularly, but enough people that the conversation never dies down, eventually you'll become a known quantity and make friends.

Guilds in MMOs

Having reached my 40s, I’ve kind of given up on this sadly. With my work schedule and what it takes out of me, I’ve realized that I’m not that great of a friend anyhow. I can be flaky honestly. But there’s a hole inside of me that I’ve always wanted to fill with a friend, a real connection beyond typical friendship. I’m leaving that hole open but I’ve learned to avoid looking at it. Hope you find your friend.

I can confirm that apps work. Half of my relationships as an adult are from online dating.

I'm in the divorce process and in many ways I'm terrified of reaching the point where I am past the grief and feeling a need to fill that void.

We met over ten years ago because I posted a personals ad on a local r4r titled "Creepy guy seeks woman way out of his league". Everything seems 5000x more gamified now.

I'm somewhat awkward, so I'm a lot more comfortable putting off phone or video for a few days. With that said, I really want to avoid the shame and frustration that comes with taking a full hour to realize I've been treating a chatbot like a real human being.

You can confirm none of them work? They can work. Sometimes you have to give it time. I met my wife on tinder. The thing is it takes a while. I didn't meet the love of my life on there after a single day or week. I was on the app for a couple years. It's hit or miss and takes learning.

Beats the fuck out of me. This form of social media always has that trait of disposable conversations, but then again, when you've been alone as long as I have you tend to be crazy enough to convince yourself that your mania is just a new normal and you didn't need anyone to start with.

My wife and I met on Craigslist of all things. I read something she wrote, popped her a note, she wrote back, one thing led to another and here we are married for 14 years now...

Shared experiences help with longer term relationships. I regret I'm not focusing on the finding part but more of identifying how to hold onto it. I think the shared experiences matter more than how you find the people.

I've done this specifically by playing a video game, joining a clan, and joining the discord. I focused on who I clicked with most and spent time with them. I also think making some effort to meet IRL helps after a while. Having a game or a hobby in common isn't really enough because it can be very thin. If you don't care about any IRL things then force other shared experiences that are tangential to what brought you together. That helps me too.

Engage in spaces and areas where there will be other people with similar interests. That may be a fan club for a hobby you love, a game with multiplayer elements, etc.

MMOs maybe. I've met some cool people this way

https://www.interpals.net/

Lots of my long-term friendships started with open-source projects. If that's your kind of thing, it's worth looking into. Either way it usually all boils down to a common hobby.

Apps can definitely work. I met my wife on Tinder, and i know two friends of mine who used Bumble specifically to find friends after moving to a new city, which worked and they now have an active friend group there.

I met my girlfriend on two different apps actually. The first time it died out but we still thought about each other. So when we found each other 2 years later we decided to try again. The thing that worked for us was to call each other, when we did that we were stuck

You can meet a partner in league of legends. Your match history and most played champions are like a free personality test that both of you and the rest of the world have access to.

You’ll be sleeping with one eye open for the rest of your life though.

Discord is the only way gang

Facebook Dating has ironically been miles beyond other sites imo. It's completely free and the algorithm works very well. There's also a section for finding friends if dates aren't your thing.

Memes and shit posting is how most of my online friends say together.

How do you find people who are interested in long-term relationships online?

In my experience, this is rare. Most people who meet others online started as friends with some common interest. I met my wife like this. It was never with the intention of a long term relationship, we were just friends online. We knew each other as friends for 2 years before getting together.

I would recommend DnD (or other games) as others have suggested too.

Also this is kind of random and I have no idea if it is a good idea, but maybe try https://duolicious.app/ - I saw it randomly the other day and your post reminded me of it.

Every person's view is different, and there's no sure-fire way to make a friendship happen. Anyone who tells you there is, is either lying or has a lot of power or money that attracts "yes men". Other genders are available.

So, as with anyone else's experience, my advice is purely anecdotal - and it's basically "don't be a dick".

That's an incredibly reductive soundbite, but in short, I try and be decent to other people and encourage people to be cool with me. No ego, no perceived power dynamic, just chill - for the duration of whatever we're doing. It could be playing online, a videoconference for work, an academic meeting, and project team - whatever. As another poster said, the vast majority of time I don't go into interactions looking to come out with a new best friend or a new romantic partner - partly because the former makes you come across as insincere, and mainly because my partner would have something to say about the latter.

Of a hundred interactions or meetings or encounters maybe one will start firing on all cylinders from the get-go, and you'll find that you share loads in common, they've got a similar sense of humour, or even you may be mutually attracted to them from their video feeds - whatever. For the most part, I'm sad to see people I've met leave at the end of a project, an academic grouping, or a game sesh - but I didn't click with them enough to actively want to see them again.

That one-in-a-hundred may develop into a "hey, I play this other game/with another group" or "man you know your shit, we should stay in touch" or "jeez I could learn a lot from you, fancy swapping details?" - and it may well be that you've read it all wrong and they think you're a bellend. It is what it is, it's their call and it takes two to tango.

If the planets align though, you'll get a good friend, a romantic partner, a decent teammate or a brilliant colleague that lasts for years.

In short, if you're pretty sound and go in with the best of intentions, giving everyone* the time of day, then you'll at the very least make the best of whatever situation you're thrown in (voluntary or otherwise), and at best you'll find someone equally awesome and it'll run from there.

Either way, good luck. I hope you find someone to play with/enjoy their company/chat shit to soon.

*does not include obvious cockwombles of course. The definition of which is left as an exercise for the reader.

Find a game and join a clan! Doesn't matter the type of game either. I've made lots of friends who all play Beat Saber. We get together (online) to play for a few hours every Sunday.

We have a blast discussing the endless statistics of BeatLeader, share jokes/memes, etc on Discord all day every day (haha). It's a lot of fun.

At this point in my life, almost all of my friends have come from TTRPGs I've joined online. I even moved across the country to be nearer to the core group that I was friends with.

There's something to be said about experiencing (fantasy) hardships that show you true colors of people without having to get into really messy emotional things irl.

Or I'm just lucky.

Would the partner remain strictly online too?

I just made a great little group of friends in Palia