how do I stop giving a f*ck about my coworkers political ideas?
how do I stop giving a f*ck about my coworkers political ideas?
I don't talk about politics or religion at the workplace, yet there is a drama queen that loves just blurting out what she thinks to everyone around.
My way to go so far has been to ignore her, but sometimes I just want to yell at her how incoherent she is.
Then I'd be the one starting drama I guess...
I'm looking for advice to deal with these kind of people. I don't want to work listening to conspiracy theories.
Talk to your boss in private and say that political talk at the workplace makes you uncomfortable and you don't think it's appropriate.
This is the political answer
I don't think you should be quiet, it makes them feel like everyone is agreeing with them and makes everyone miserable. Time to introduce you to my favorite game to play with conservatives, Politics Judo!
So you hear them rant about a thing. Some dumbass talking point. Let's use gun control. It's pretty easy to know in advance what the talking points are since they never shut up and parrot the same problem and solution over and over. "Shouldn't take guns, it's a mental problem not a gun problem".
Things are basically boiled down to a problem and a solution. A lot of people try to convince people that the problem isn't what people think it is, and that's hard to do. Even if they are just misinformed, it feels like trying to dismiss their fears.
So what you do is you agree with the problem, then use lefty talking points as the solution.
"Oh yeah, gun violence is pretty bad! And I love the Constitution, we shouldn't mess with that!" (Use small words and also throw in some patriotism, makes them feel like you're on their side. You want to sound like a right wing media con artist) "so instead of taking guns away, we should instead start having more, free, mental health care in this country. Since it's a mental health problem and these people are crazy, that is the solution that makes the most sense!" (Don't try to get them to agree to your solution, just state it as the obvious one)
It becomes weaponized cognitive dissonance. Their brains fry because you said the things you should to agree with them, flagged yourself as an ally, but then said the thing they were told is the bad and shouldn't want.
If they try to argue with your solution, rinse and repeat to a different talking point. "Oh yeah it might cost more, and we shouldn't have to pay more for it, so we should get the rich people who are screwing average hard working Americans over by not paying taxes to do that. We should shut down tax loopholes and increase funding to the IRS so they can go after them instead of the little guy"
Always sound like you're agreeing with them, but giving solutions that they disagree with that seem to be off topic but are related.
Either they will get flustered and stop, or they will slip up and say something racist or sexist or something, and then you can have HR bust them. Document it and also see if you're in a single party consent state.
I do something similar but yours is more comprehensive and elaborate.
Thank you for your response.
Honestly, just tell her you'd rather not talk about politics. It can be incredibly passive. You do not need to elaborate. You can make up something simple like "I just want to focus on work while I'm at work," it doesn't even need to make sense. If she pushes back, drop it, but don't ever say it's okay for her to do. Then if she keeps doing it talk to your manager about it. "I've talked to her and asked her not to talk about politics, but she insists. I find it distracting." Again, it doesn't necessarily need to make sense and it doesn't need to be over the top. Now,. hopefully your manager will sort it out. Because if it's annoying you it's likely annoying others.
This is probably the best and most realistic answer here. Just tell them that you're here to work and not chitchat. I've done a similar thing when asked why I don't take a break so we (my superior and I) could go on break together. I work less than 6 hours so I'm not legally required to go on a 30 minute break.
Smh at a few of those other comments that read more like someone trying to write bad fanfiction.
Headphones and a volume dial that goes to 11.
Or noise canceling headphones, and only up to 5 so you don't destroy your hearing.
Well, it's one louder, innit?
Not no tiny ones either, or they'll still walk up to you with their nonsense. Get some bigass highly visible headphones.
They when they start yapping at you anyway pretend you can't hear them. When they start waving around frantically in front of you, and this is the important part, slowly take off the headphones, look at them sideways and go "huh?". Make them repeat themselves. Don't engage. Get back to work asap with the headphones again.
Eventually they'll tire of this song and dance every time and move on to someone else. Hopefully.
I, personally, have always been fond of headphones that double as ear muffs. Back in the day that meant Sennheisers - it may mean something else now, though.
I've had to deal with a family member like that and managed to shock them into shutting up about it in my company. "If you are going to shove your politics into everyone's faces you'll have to listen to my opinions too. You know what I think about <insert their favorite politician>? I'd love to spend my weekend slowly drowning them in a barrel of cat piss, but I'm worried it's too good for them." 3 years later not a pip.
ignoring them is the best thing. when you start feeling super annoyed, that’s a good time to take a break & walk away for a few mins.
also, the headphones suggestion is on point.
Someone already mentioned going to HR or talking to your boss, but if you really want to shut it down just call her out on her bullshit. Make her explain her position and ask followup questions until she can't respond. She's just parroting some talking head, and you can even make a game out of trying to figure out which one she's channeling
Mind your own business, Sarah. I know it's you.
Here’s a hot take: Take shrooms. You’ll understand to your core that literally nothing matters and society is just a game of house that went too far. There’s so much you can’t control, so your coworkers political beliefs will seem like a very funny and intricate delusion they hold themselves to.
Of course this might not be your experience, but sometimes things take too much bandwidth in our heads and we hyperfocus on it and then it affects our mental health and personality. A mental shakeup helps reframe everything and I’ve found that my anxiety over how the world is going greatly gets dealt with better in my head after a good trip.
Reply to them in a "really? Aren't you just adorable" tone of voice. Don't engage with what they're saying but treat them way you would treat a puppy that has just learned not to crap on the rug. Or a mental patient.
"Trump says he's going to fix everything two weeks after he takes office!"
"Really? That's amazing! Here I was thinking that you hadn't thought this through, when clearly you had."
Try to maintain a safe distance of at least 30 m at all times. If you’re stuck with her in the same room, ask lots of work related questions and keep the conversation strictly professional. Dry work stuff only. The more boring the better. As soon as the conversation is about to go off the rails, steer it back.
Maybe it will be some consolation for you to remember that you and your coworker have a common adversary: your employer. If you find yourself taking your ignorant coworker's bait, you can try constructively twisting it or redirecting her complaints against the ownership.
One option...lean in, HARD! Dial the crazy up to 11..... One up every point she makes, every single time.
Many, if not most large companies and government agencies have workplace harassment policies. If you find out what you're covered by, and make your views known, the behavior of this individual could be reportable.
It's a long road, but
When you figure it out, please let me know.
You don't. You care about what you care about.
What you can do is a combination of stone face and meditation.
Stone face is never giving a reaction of any kind. They shoot off their mouth, you just look away, walk away, or stare blankly at them. Should they question it, you just state you're going back to work (if leaving their presence), or "nothing" with nothing else added.
The meditation part is so that you don't crack. You learn to control your breathing, which gives you the later ability to both exist in the now without dwelling on the events of the now, with the side benefit of being able to tune useless signals out.
Both take practice. And they kinda depend on each other. You do stone face without meditation, you end up just eating yourself up inside from the stress. You do meditation without stone face, you end up looking calm and happy, which encourages the behavior.
Now, it's important to remember to do it when a person is voicing their silliness that you agree with, too. See, if you only go blank with one area of politics, or only that person's religious vomit, you end up causing problems for yourself. So hold everyone to the same standard that politics and religion are just utterly useless to bring up around you.
Are there cases where someone is going to push? Sure. You fall back to stating that you're hearing them out, but you have work to do. This does come with the consequence that you're going to have to also stay distant with other conversation and stay on task at work, at least verbally. That can be a loss if the workplace is otherwise relaxed and less "work now scumdog slave!", but it usually ends up being worth that.
Oh shit. Are we coworkers? Is it me?
Politics is group decision making. Religion is humanities relation to the supernatural. Drama, in context, seems to be a flaring of emotions.
Politics is unavoidable. Working with others requires decision making. She is telling you how she goes about making decisions i.e. deferring to authority.
Religion is also unavoidable since it informs politics. Many people believe God-King Jesus will come fix all the world's problems. Thereby they are primed for deferring to authority.
Drama is a result of the multiplayer game of conversation. You can control your inputs and responses. You can control your internal state. There is no shame leaving a game instead of grinding to "git gud". Not every game is for everyone. I enjoy the grind.
She is telling you how she goes about making decisions i.e. deferring to authority.
This is really insightful. Thanks.
AirPods?
You aren't supposed to agree with everyone around you all the time.
Grow up or hate the world you share with the rest of the people living on it.
That's the risk of places like lemmygrad and hexbear.
Best of luck moving forward
I would do the following.
- Politely ask her to refrain from talking about politics at work as it makes you uncomfortable.
- If #1 fails, go to your supervisor/manager and put in a formal complaint.
- If #2 isn't handled discreetly or is simply ignored, go to your superior's boss and repeat the action of step #2.
- If #3 fails, go to HR.
- If #4 fails or there is no HR to go to, seek new employment elsewhere, and write a review of company on Glassdoor.
Would it be good enough for you if you heard the conspiracy theories around you, but you could mostly not be affected by what they're saying?
Pull up a book by marx on your phone and just start reading it outlook to them like you would have story time with a child.
This is cringe. Not even because you're reading Marx, but because you assume the person you're reading it to is intelligent enough to understand what you're reading
It's funny most dipshits agree with communism as long as they don't know it's communism. You can't use the c word if you want to educate dipshits.
Whole 'Alt right playbook' series is great, but this one aligns with your question:
https://youtu.be/yts2F44RqFw?si=i4spe1pMZEYyswrLYou have basic human social cues and a the minimal amount of empathy. So you won't be able to ignore a person. As mush as people say it you can't actually ignore people. The best you can do is minimize interactions.
Try to understand that people like this are desperate and crave interaction. They want someone to validate them. This can come by agreement or by argument. Either of those options will fuel them. People like this are unwell, though appear functional.
If you confront this person they will know they have a 'live one' and will NEVER EVER LET YOU GO. Do not engage unless you deliberately want to give them the interaction they are so desperate for.
Give non-responses, grunts, etc to them . Stuff like 'huh, must have a lot of time on your hands' 'ok' 'huh' Keep body language to a minimum. Like others have said this is for all topics. Even a small smile on a point of agreement is a small crumb of the interaction they are desperate for.
Headphones all the time.
Quit. You will know your workplace and know if they given any care at all about a professional environment. Most 'HR' departments or managers are simply not equipped to deal with a drama person who doesn't cross the line to blatantly illegal. If you are in the unicorn place that cares and is willing to shut down a person like this speak to a manager or HR. If you don't work in that place, time to move. This isn't advice for everyone. You are bothered enough to want to engage with this person. It's obviously on some level effecting you. Over more time it may not get better.
Let them.
You grow up.