At my previous job, I was often criticised for pointing out the obvious weaknesses and failure points of new ideas. I always made sure to remind the project's owner when it inevitably failed, and that they shouldn't have ignored the doomsayer in the room. The best part is that they couldn't fire me because I was a competent worker during a shortage caused by the pandemic.
Now that we have a club confirmed, we should have club meetings! Though I see how that may not work out...
Yeah, that was me. I always had to get my warnings in writing so they couldn't blame me when their idea failed
Me, thinking to myself: what if this completely illogical and unlikely thing happened RIGHT NOW
Also me, to my wife: why would you think that completely illogical and unlikely thing would happen right now....
I wish my brain just went one scenario.
The one thing my therapists never understood was just how much more draining it was to have to put those contingency plans into action every day and then getting blamed for that too, so it's literally just worst case scenario every day all the way down.
So there I am in the catastrophic mode of thinking, actually feeling secure for once. And now I'm supposed to turn into an optimist? I tried. I tried because it was what I was supposed to do. And wouldn't you know it? It all blew up again.
So yeah I guess the message here is if a therapist is reading this, ask yourself what's worse? The bad thing happening with no plan, or the bad thing with a plan? Because the good thing isn't a choice. It never was in my life. It was always an illusion that gets ripped away the second you depend on it.
While not a quick and easy process, programming can be alterred. DBT helps.
DBT?
only know DMT, is DBT something I miss out on?Dialectical Behavior Therapy
This doesn't have enough upvotes imo. Contingency hell can be dealt with. (mind you, noting wrong with having a contingency plan or two, but there's a point where it goes from a healthy survival mechanism to a debilitating maladaptive coping mechanism)
I'm still in contingency plan hell, but I've managed to deal with it in some parts of my life and that feeling of just coming out of a situation that used to make you tense AF and then realizing you were not even considering to worry about it is the best feeling even. This was something I never expected to be possible.
And honestly, I have been stressing out about the other bits of my life that are still contingency hell, kinda thinking I might never get rid of them, just how I felt about the things I actually did deal with...
Guess I came here to remind some internet rando's that it is in fact possible; ended up reminding myself :')
I mean, Trump won so... that illustrates how sometimes things do happen, and it's often best to be prepared for such?
This is both a blessing and a curse. For my line of work, IT, I'm often thinking of the possible failure scenarios because I'll have to deal with them if they happen. I want to make it easy on myself if the worst happens.
At the same time, having my manager saying "we need to chat" will have me basically getting fired 1000 different ways in my head before we walk the 18 steps to his office.
I know how draining it is to hear someone who verbalizes their worst case scenario for every situation, but they might just be paranoid.
My good friend is paranoid to the point of hearing things that aren't there. I believe he may be schizophrenic. We've talked about it and he can't shake it. The funny thing is he has so little anxiety compared to me and I'm often envious.
Yeah, the person I know is worried about a lot of things, but doesn't seem anxious about any of it. Like always being worried that if the temp reaches zero the pipes will freeze, that if it rains then all roads are automatically slippery and dangerous, or that if something is misplaced that it was stolen despite consistently showing up later.
But it is really just assuming the worst will happen, and she moves right on to the next thing.
It feels pretty good to be the one person prepared when shit does go down though. So there's that at least...
If everything's okay then I've forgotten something.
I too am a fan of the Chicago Bears.
Even mourning people and situations before they are gone.
Ocd people unite!
Literally the story of Inside Out 2
