How can I get better at talking?
I don't know if anyone else has this problem but I have a really pacific issue. In general just I suck at talking. I find it hard to put my thoughts to words, I never know what words to use and I never know what to say.
I talk like xQc irl and the act of using words to hard I'm always slurring them out even tho I try not to and I have a stutter and a slip so saying thing is very hard.
I'm Indigenous Canadian and I grew up in a semi remote community where my family only spoke our Ojibway/Cree language. That was my first language for about the first ten years of my life.
I went to school and learned English and could understand it from a young age but I never needed to speak it.
At 14 I had to go high school in a city where everyone spoke English and I didn't. I could understand everyone but I had a hell of a hard time speaking or even to be heard. My brain knew what to say but my mouth parts were so out of practice that I couldn't speak properly or be understood. The software was working 100% but the hardware didn't cooperate.
I had a hard time speaking English all through my teen years. I didn't get comfortable with it until about 20. Even after that I spent about another five / ten years before I got fully comfortable with the language. I'm almost 50 now and I can comfortably speak English now and I have no problem making myself heard. Sad part is that in all that time, I've lost some of my ability to speak my Indigenous language.
Basically it's just practice and sticking with it. You won't sound right or you won't sound good for a few years but keep at it. Make mistakes, make yourself sound goofy or silly ... who cares ... keep practicing and eventually you'll get better with it. It took me a long time because I just don't like interacting with people. I saw others like me who were more extroverted pick up the language a lot faster and within a year or two just become as normal of a speaker as anyone else.
Practise ... it's like saying you want to learn to sing ... you won't be good at it at first so you have to practice and not be afraid to fail and fail often ... keep at it and eventually you'll be just as good at speaking as anyone else.
I would like to add this: I'm pretty articulate in English, and even though I speak French quite well, I sometimes feel like a small child when I try to speak it with my francophone friends, which is why I shy away from that. I feel like I barely know how to express myself and, since I find that so easy in English, it frightens me to struggle so much with it.
I say all this to let you know that you're not alone and that practice is, indeed, a path to success. It might not be what you need, but it's worth trying.
Where can you practise speaking that you feel safe? Where you can expect not to be judged nor ridiculed?
If you legitimately speak like xQc, the first thing I'd tell you is to slow the hell down. That guy would probably get as much information out in the same amount of time, but easier to understand, if he just didn't try speaking that fast. Last I heard it, even his quรฉbรฉcois french was slurred.
As to finding the right words when speaking, it tends to come with knowing your subject well enough, and having decent vocabulary.
Past that, if you do struggle with the very act of translating ideas into the physical act of speaking, it could be a speech disorder which could likely benefit from speech therapy.
You're dealing with both impediments and social issues here. This would be difficult for anyone. I highly suggest professional help, but if it's not available or you are unwilling, the next best thing would be to understand you're going to need to fail a lot with intentions of getting better, and it may never happen. I'm rooting for you.
Edit: To clarify, speech therapy and general therapy are what you will benefit from.
Speech pathology for the stutter and the slip. You can find some free help online but be careful, trying to fix speech issues on your own can make things worse in some cases. If you can, seek professional input.
I've done toastmasters a long time a go, and it really benefits me till today.
I talk like xQc
Just looked up this guy and this seems obvious, Twitch.tv is the inverse of literacy and coherence. Stop fucking gaming and watching streams.
Never watch his stuff. He's content is the most brain dead dribble you've ever seen. He's like some the white version of jinx. When I say he does reaction content I mean that in the most literal sense. He literally sits there and watches things and adds absolutely nothing. If you watch xQc you may as well go to the local movie theatre and look at the guy next to you. It has the same entertainment value and at least then you get to socialise.
Wait a secondโฆyou post saying you donโt know how to word good, and then you carry on a whole thread of conversation here with plenty good word. Very suspicious.
That's a wonderful mental image I feel like I understand high ranking streamers without watching them now
Also I searched Ukraine out of curiosity and he actually reacted to an HBO doc made by a rapist and an obvious fed military journalist ๐๏ธ๐๐๏ธ
I don't know what to do with this info. Probably fed to him to promote. Gaming streamers becoming political commentators to find a way out of esports is so fucking weird to me still.
Freeze
Another response to danger is your body hitting the pause button altogether. The freeze response involves becoming immobilized or โfreezingโ in response to a threat. This can involve a state of paralysis or being unable to move. Itโs thought that this response might have evolved as a way to avoid being noticed by a predator or to remain still in the hopes that the threat will pass by.
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-happens-to-your-body-during-the-fight-or-flight-response
I would suggest emailing improv groups around you to see if you could join a class that's supportive. Make sure to ask the teacher ahead of time so you can get a feel for if they'd be good for you or not and if they're willing to work with you. If you could take a friend that's interested as well, that would help for you to work with someone you trust.
Like anything, it's practising doing it. Incidentally, this is one place using a chat bot might help you. These things are pretty good at carrying a conversation, and if you're not comfortable talking to a person, it could be a good way to practice.
You can start by using chat gpt's voice chat. itโs a small step, but it can help you practice carrying conversations. speaking in public is very different from talking alone, but this could give you some direction.
if your speech feels like xqc's, one reason might be overthinking how others see your face or gestures. building self-confidence can helpโworking out, for example, can make you feel better about how you look, which often translates to confidence in speaking.
another issue could be speaking too fast. try slowing down. you might worry about awkward pauses, but people enjoy listening. if you speak with authority and maintain your pace, others will adjust and give you time to express yourself.
lastly, if eye contact makes you nervous, donโt overthink it. a quick glance now and then is fine. it keeps you calm and focused without overwhelming you. over time, this can make speaking much less stressful.
Given the context of your post, I would suggest starting with the basics. Taking the time to learn how to write properly may give you some ability to speak properly.
I have a really pacific issue
I don't know if this is typo or if you think your issue is as big as the ocean.
I as a teen worked in a retail computer store Having to constantly interact with people really give you a sense of being able to communicate better. That or any job where you have to teach someone something.
Practice by reading out loud slowly and enunciating like you want a child to understand you. Do the same with others' speeches, as they were written to be said out loud. If they are recorded in an accent that is in the neighborhood of your goal, even better - you can practice talking exactly like a recording.
Even though this isn't off-the-cuff speaking, you will likely adopt verbal patterns that let your words flow more freely.
You can also join clubs that are dedicated to speaking to other people. If all else fails, something like toastmasters, though that's specifically about public speaking.
If this doesn't go well, that's also okay. You might want to look into a speech therapist if practice doesn't help.
As others have suggested, professional help would probably be the best way to go about it.
Otherwise, here are my suggestions as a non-professional:
I've struggled with putting my thoughts into words almost my whole life. Only in the last 2-3 years I started to actually get better (I'm 28 soon).
What could help is
I did both of these occasionally, but I think what actually helped me here was LSD, which I don't recommend unless you've properly researched the (side-) effects, are aware of all the risks and have trusted source to get it from.
Probably need to see a speech therapist.
Not sure if related, but this might help
Learn new languages. Learn to code.
May not solve your problem, but will help.
Also, read books.
The word you want here is "specific". ๐
Thanks
Only West Coast people understand.
I lived for three months in Mazatlรกn. I get it.