The Midwest will take over

Go on, tell people in Philly they got a New York accent, I dare ya.

Or folks in Baltimore that they have a Midwest accent
- baltimore assent say dis.
  
  arn arnd an arn arn.
Never heard a New Yorker say needs washed, yins, warsh, or pop.

As we in the Midwest prefer to call it, "a normal accent".

"General American English"
- Which is actually different from a Midwestern accent.

New Englander here.
What in the world is a "New England accent?" Do you mean Boston? New Hampshire? Wood Chuck? Whatever the hell is going on in Maine? (I didn't know anybody lived there to have an accent.)

Maines got several, none of which sound Canadian or like the rest of New England. The two big ones we call County and Downeast.
- People from away always think we’re canadians for some reason.
You don't know any wicked mainahs then. Up north in East millinocket driver mcguyver
Yeah, Connecticut and Massachusetts do not share the same accent. Western Massachusetts is specifically wild. Go fuck yourself, Cuffy is a pretty great example. Connecticut doesn't really have an accent as far as I can tell. It's just the generic white people accent. Which is basically the same as NY. And no, the New York accent is not "I'm drinkin' waaahtaaa ovaaah heeeea". Maybe some very specific Italian neighborhoods in Brooklyn, but that's about it.

Gonna make lots of Philly people angry.

They were already angry
Gonna make a lot of Mainer’s mad saying we have a Canadian or New England accent. Someone from the county does not sound like a Canadian, and someone from downeast doesn’t sound like someone from Vermont which doesn’t sound like someone from Mass, and so on.

Austin doesn't sound valley imo.

It does not. It's more of a mix of Midwestern, border mexican, valley, and standard Texan. I loved how many of the Indian tech-workers that moved to Austin in the early 2000s quickly developed a habit of using y'all...and a breakfast taco addiction.

Source: Austinite from 1999-2022.
- I'm an Indian born in Austin in the early 2000s who uses y'all and is addicted to breakfast tacos ^and elotes^ 💀
  
  why is this so accurate
Funnily enough, it shares a lot of dialectic traits with Orlando.

Obligatory Fred Armisen

This bit is so good.

Huh. I wanna say it's wild to claim people from Arizona and New Mexico have Midwestern accents, but I've only just realized I have no clue what the hell they do have. Midwestern accents, I guess?

It's definitely not Midwestern. Grew up in Colorado and have lived in Ohio and Arizona. Arizona is much more a mountain west accent.
Well some of new Mexico has a variation of norteno accent. You can find some versions online, also burqeunos. Those are the extremes of new Mexican accents but no new Mexican sounds like Midwestern accent
We're in the deep Mid now bois. 😎

I can't account for the source of this map or its accuracy

Pretty sure it would be out of place in cartographyanarchy if it was accurate

If anyone is wondering, I grew up in Seattle and I've had people who are English second language ask me if I'm British.

I just learned English by watching Frasier.

Michiganders don't have a Canadian accent. At least not most of them.

I live in Jackson, Wyoming (right on the border with Idaho for 8 months out of the year. I travel most of Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming, and I do not detect a difference in accent between there and most of the Midwest.

I like the detail of this map better, though it is still overly broad (not accounting for AAVE or other minority groups, and not differentiating on age): https://aschmann.net/AmEng/

Not a map, but if you want better spoken examples of various accents and dialects, this is a great source: https://www.dialectsarchive.com/united-states-of-america

I've got news for you if you think anyone in NM have a midwestern accent.

Baltimore has filed a protest.

Aaron earned an iron urn.

Completely missing the Pittsburgh accent which is quite distinct. But I don't think I've ever seen it depicted in TV or movies either so it's likely that most Americans are completely unfamiliar with it.

I wouldn't say most Coloradans have a Midwestern accent either, especially in the front range.

Edit: it's even hard to find good examples on YouTube. Here's one guy but I would say this is just one type of accent and it's not that strong. You should hear my cousins...

Baltimore has its own accent too
- Yeah I think there's probably a lot of micro-regional accents that this is missing. Which is jarring because it shows some of them. I know I have also seen some odd accents with older people in eastern Colorado. That may qualify as a "mountain accent" but I'm not completely sure what that refers to.

As the representative of the Southeast, there're also several 'southern' accents. The refined 'southern belle' is a favorite, alongside a more brusque and inarticulate 'hillbilly' accent from the sticks.