Straight men, what's the weirdest thing you've been told you can't do because it's gay?

I was born in Victorian Britain and have a very mirthful air about me.

So one day I was going about my merry business, being my jovial self.

When I'm walked a creature that saw what I was about, smoked at me and said 'well aren't you the gayest person I've met all day'.

I'm not sure how to feel tbh

It's a tie between licking ice cream and saying something is adorable.

Cry.

Wearing an earring in your right ear, but it's ok to wear it in the left... Or the other way around. I could never remember which.

Wear orange or pink.
Eat quiche
Like poetry
Hang out with girls at recess
Wear an earring
Owning Laurie Anderson or Philip Glass CDs

Sucking dick.

eat a chicken sandwich. Apparently straight men have to eat burgers.

According to my dad, considering something as 'lovely'. Even if it's the exhaust note of a motorcycle.

Use a bidet

I've had a colleague say that tea is "homo water". I'm aro/ace, but most of my colleagues don't know that. Similarly a straight colleague of mine got mocked for wearing pink (but not feminine) shoes. After some of these incidents we've kinda started pushing back against this nonsense by deliberately triggering these people and calling them out, which has worked so far.

TIL I'm gay

82222

These are all example from decades ago growing up in the 90’s.

I was called gay for not liking soccer, like it’s gay to not watch men chase a ball in shorts.

I was called gay for wearing UGG boots as a dude. Like if we even want to accept gay as an insult, I would argue the person bothered by such things as what shoes one is wearing is more fitting of an insult.

Fun fact. When I had a house mate who was gay, it was very difficult not to use gay as a word for something that wasn’t fun. Like this show is gay. He didn’t mind, but still wanted to stop.

I remember kids telling me I was crossing my legs in a gay way. I asked them who said so, and they said their teacher. That was the first time I realized some bullies grow up to be teachers.

Putting a wig on my best friend and spooning him while he's asleep.

Around 2010ish I was thoroughly enjoying some Bells Two Hearted and other IPAs. My brother (2 years older) tried arguing that bud light is man's beer, and my beers were fruity and girly. It certainly doesn't matter to me, but the irony of choosing bud light, out of all the macro beers, is just 👨‍🍳😘>

Take my pants all the way off when I poop

when I finished high school and was talking with friends about going to uni, a few of us were talking a out renting a place together when we got into uni to be close (instead of 2 hours away like we were). another friend we should never do that because people would think we are gay. obligatory he is a Christian fundamentalist who is highly likely gay himself

Wear a kilt?

TBH I've never tried and nobody told me it was gay. But I'm a sweaty person and I would love to air out my crotch except for fear of social criticism.

Washing your asshole... Seriously dudes, wash it anyway

As a kid I was told if you eat scrambled eggs for dinner you are gay. It affected me longer than I care to admit.

Use chapstick

Read a book in public

Not go to gym

Play certain more "feminine" games

Those off the top of my head. I live in a nation of backwards idiots, so there for sure are more

All of the comments here are reminding me of how life was 20 years ago and also before I was married with kids.

I genuinely don’t fucking care how feminine somebody thinks something I’m doing is if I’m comfortable or enjoying myself. I’ll drink pink drinks all day if it fucking tastes good LMLML bro.

Fuck my bf in the ass...

I once got called the f-slur for having the audacity to read a book in public, outdoors in front of the library.

Pull through parking. You know, where there are two spaces so you drive through one into the next so you can pull out of the one you park in without having to back up? I got told that was for “girls and gays”.

Using black eyeliner.

One story my husband shared with me was when he and my dad stopped into a local bar after working hard on home renovations all day. They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day's work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too "gay" for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like "I don't know what you think you're doing in there" and "I just need to make sure you're not doing anything funny". So they ended up just leaving while the guy yelled at them saying they had to buy something.

A slightly different version of this concept also happened to my husband. At one point, 2 of our lady friends were talking about fashion and my husband, who is MUCH more fashionable than I am, chimed in. They proceeded to tell him that he's "not allowed to have an opinion because he's a man" which is the most double standard bullshit I've ever heard come out of any of my friends mouths. It's stuck with me for a long time now because I think it keeps me honest with myself about standards and reminds me to think about how opinions change when you flip genders.

In jr. high i was called gay because I dressed semi decent. Jeans with a t-shirt a blazer was apparently too much for them lol

I grew up in the 90s so just existing would cause people to call you gay.

Listening to music.

I was playing some music on my cassette player at school one day, but it wasn't rock'n'roll according to the renowned expert that was discussing the situation with me, therefore it was "gay".

Dance. In a troupe full of girls. Honestly, it was me and 15-20 girls.

Other boys literally called me gay for dancing, while they went and played whatever sports they did and then all went into a locker room and showered together etc.

I honestly never understood how they thought dance was gay. I don't understand it now.

Playing tennis.

In jr high I had some friends who played football say my other friends and I on the tennis team were gay for playing tennis.

I had to point out to them that the tennis team was co-ed and we regularly made out with our female teammates on the long bus rides to tournaments.

While those on the football team were constantly manhandling each other, showering together and slapping each other on the ass to say "good game." But the tennis team are the gay ones?

They got mad, but dropped it.

In the 1990s in the UK, it was gay to wear a backpack using both shoulder straps (as opposed to using one strap over one shoulder, which was the heterosexual way to carry things to school).

I was told I'm gay because I like knitting.
I mean, yes I'm gay, but not because of that.

Once I was at a hotel bar with colleagues and we were hanging out in some lounge area. The waitress asked if we wanted drinks, so I ordered a margarita.

Then they made fun of me for it. Like, what the hell does it matter what drink I have.

Hugging friends. Or any sort of physical contact that isn't with a woman.

One time at school I decided to randomly put a flower on my shrt from outside, then my friend started frantically saying "That's gay bro! Take it off now" and refusing to walk with me in public if i didnt take it off

Handing out homemade candy in one of my upper level college courses.

okay, i'm gay, but this is still relevant.

my dad (who i haven't come out to yet) thinks colourful underwear is gay, and those are his remarks to seeing that i've packed both red and blue undies while we were on vacation last year.

like bro they're just colours.

One time in high school, I heard somebody yell "Steve, you [bundle of sticks], stop talking to your girlfriend and let's go!" and Steve was in fact at the time talking to his girlfriend.

The sheer concentration of cognitive dissonance has stuck with me to this day.

The one and only thing was the way I held my wrists/hands when I was younger/into my teens. What's super weird is it was my dad who brought it up and mentioned it a lot but he is super supportive of lgbtq+ that's the weird thing to me.

I would recommend that anyone concerned with privacy either use a burner account or not answer these kinds of questions.

While statistically I'm sure there are many straight men here, doxxing and other forms of identification are enabled by combining different breadcrumbs of information.

Making quiche for brunch. Apparently an omelet is fine, but a scrambled omelette is gay.

Wearing a chain.

Chain necklace? Gay

Chain bracelet? Gay

Chain wallet? Also Gay

Chain mail. Well now you're a dork. And also Gay

Eat an ice cream treat in Australia:(

Stand in awe at a replica of Michaelangelo’s David.

Admittedly staring at a statue of a naked guy, but come on

Here's something to ponder. The next time someone accuses you of being gay for [insert lame reason here], ask them how they know that's gay? Are they gay? Funny how some "men" are so obsessed with "gay" stuff. Always remember, and never forget, closets are for clothes.

I got called gay for wearing a kilt in america. What's funny is I had my girlfriend as well as a female friend with benifits with me at the time. I didn't even bother responding.

I've heard plenty of guys say that doing any kind of ass play, even with a female is gay.

Use hand lotion. Dude, my hands are dry, back off!

Wore a maroon coloured hoodie

The dude who asked me this also stared fixedly at the crotch of my board shorts and asked me "where's your package, man?" upon me exiting climbing out of a (cold) plunge pool

I clearly looked confused, so he says "where's your piece?"

Dude clearly spent a fair amount of his time cataloguing the outlines of flaccid penises through boardshorts for whatever fucking reason.

I was offended, ish, till I heard the growers vs show-ers thing. Mine retracts while not in use, it's quite convenient.

I went roller blading on the boardwalk along the beach during the pandemic and got called gay

Suck dick

Listening to Frank Sinatra singing about women by a guy who used to play grab ass with men. They always find something to project their insecurity on to.

Suck dick

Looking at my fingernails while my fingers were on top of my palm

Sit cross legged

Oh god so so so many. I'm going to stick with music though for today.

You like ${artist}? That's gay.

Even more fun, "You like ${Track} from artist? That's the gayest track."

Guys are real quick to make sure everyone else knows how much manlier they are by what music they listen to.

Wipe your ass.

Let a man do squats over my face until my nose touched his shorts bulge. Wait. I’m gay.

Play a female character in an arcade game. Specifically the one in Golden Axe.

Kiss my homie

Have a wider choice of underwear. Some beautiful individual in another thread put me on to “gay” underwear… comfort settings I’d never dreamed of. I’d feel contained performing CPR in these badboys. Apparently this clothing change is the first step on the road to man love - according to the absolute brains trust I’ve had the pleasure of working with for the last couple of months.

unisex clothing == male clothing

so still cant buy anything with colors or style or anything even mildly feminine without the gay thing being thrown around

Like the color purple

Use ranch dressing. I was informed that was for gays and city folk only. I really had no response to that nugget of wisdom.

I can do anything.

Listening to metal music with female singers, on two separate occasions. The first was Planet Hell by Nightwish (from the End of an Era concert), and the second one was either Eluveitie or Dalriada.

I was just walking to work one day, when I got heckled in the street by some random guy singing at me:

"Earthworm Jim, you're so much fun to play. Earthworm Jim, you're tall, you're thin, you're gay!"

I've never been more seen.

Have a straw in a restaurant.

Kiwi strawberry Snapple.

It was 30 years ago, but it kinda killed the whole concept of calling things "gay" for me.

My wife and my buddy who is bi insist that I cannot have normal conversations with other dudes at the alleged gay bar we like to visit sometimes. They say that I am invariably being hit on, but I don't notice anything like that.