Trump Attempts To Soften Image With New Airbrushed JCPenney Beauty Shots
Trump Attempts To Soften Image With New Airbrushed JCPenney Beauty Shots
TRAVERSE CITY, MI—In an effort to reach out to swing voters crucial to his reelection bid, former President Donald Trump reportedly attempted to soften his image Friday by distributing airbrushed JCPenney beauty shots of himself at a campaign rally. “Here you go, these are nice glossies of the presi...
I was about to say that this doesn't belong on not the onion because this is totally realistic. Then I realized this was the onion
At least you didn’t eat the onions at McDonalds
At least it wasn't just me.
I didn't bite the onion on this one, but only because it's too TAME. Real life is much crazier than this.
If it were a realistic kind of crazy, he would have done the photo shoot in Florida with alligators, and lost a finger.
I think the JC Penney photos would actually work with swing voters. They just need a reason to not be ashamed to vote for him.
And his devotees would have cut off their own fingers in solidarity.
There's a picture of me as a kid holding a baby alligator. You can just tape their mouth shut, the jaw muscles to open their mouths are weak, it's closing their mouth that can crunch bone. I'm not sure the gators like it much though, lol.
On a tangentially related note, check out Gatorland if you're ever in Orlando. It's a fun time and one of the few remaining old Florida tourist attractions and a perennial field trip destination for the local school kids, that's why I've been there several times.
It would have been Hugo Boss.
Kin Jong Un approves!
Really captured his neck vagina with that soft light
Now to finish off this new look he needs to do a sears catalog underwear shoot.
"And it didn't break the bank, either".
The Onion's still got it.