Store making me feel like an outcast because of privacy concerns

(Your Area Code) 867-5309. None of the younger store clerks know the song reference when I give them this number. But I get chuckles from older folks in line behind me

I'm a casher in the US of fuckin A and I can assure you that we don't care on a personal level what you do. If someone not having or wanting to enter a phone number at the register is the weirdest customer thing that happens in a shift then it's the most relaxed shift of my damn life.

No point asking them to justify why they have to ask, they probably don't even know. Just say "Sorry, I don't give that out". I've never had a store push back after that - they probably get it all the time.

Every time this happens to me, the clerk/cashier just shrugs and is like, "okay". They get it, but are obligated to try anyway. The best you can do is be polite.

This is sadly very common where I'm from, except you don't even get a discount from it. I've taken to just politely declining, since I'm sure the person working the cash is probably pressured to get people to give their personal info.

"And can get your email?"

"No thank you"

"I need your email for the receipt"

"I appreciate it but no thank you"

It's a slight non sequitur while still being polite. Saying "no thank you" when someone is pressuring you works well in many situations.

I had this experience once in an Ikea, of all places. I calmly told the clerk that according to local laws (which I cited), it was illegal for them to demand that information from me (phone number and post code) to sell me anything, and if the computer wouldn’t let them do it, then they should call a manager for an override.

When the manager came, the clerk said “this person refuses to give me their info” — to which I added, “your computer refuses to comply with the law; please override and then notify HQ that they are in contravention of the law and liable for significant fines.”

The next time I went in, they still asked me for the info, but the clerk was able to override. I suspect they just put in fake info for everyone who refused to supply it.

Stores will never respect your privacy or data, so you have no obligation to respect a corporation’s expectation of truth.

Just have memorized fake data ready for bullshit like this, say it when asked. Then the retail person who cares even less than you about it (but is forced to pretend they do, in order to survive) can get to their break faster. Win win

"Would you like to donate money to us that we pretty pretty promise will go to some vague charity while we reap the tax benefits? No? Are you sure? Fine, we'll just ask you next time (regardless of your answer this time)."

Everyone's approaching this from the privacy aspect, but the real reason isn't that the cashier thought you were weird, they're just underpaid and under a lot of pressure from management to try multiple times and in some cases they even get written up for not doing it because it's deemed part of their job. They hate it just as much as you. Same when you try to cancel your cable subscription or whatever: the calls are recorded and their performance is monitored and they make damn sure they try at least 3 times to upsell you, even when it's painfully obvious you're done with them.

Just politely decline until they asked however many times they're required to ask and move on.

Maybe just an awkward sales agent, or they thought you were mad at them for in their mind trying to help. I decline phone number and zip code all the time. Also been using someone else's phone number at grocery stores for years -- started by mistake. I don't care about accumulated points or whatever but discounts at grocery store are pretty significant for me.

But I understand your frustration in general. Keep up the good fight :)

Why don't you just lie ... Each time a different name surname email address physical address phone number ... Yeah sometimes it's Mandatory to use a real address for delivery purposes just put a random name in and add a post-it on the doorbell saing something on the line of leave packages for Crudelia demon here please. Temp mail for most discounts is enough... The test cases in which they do not only ask for your phone but also want to verify it it's pretty slim ...

I was looking at ISPs yesterday as my current contract ran out so they're taking the opportunity to wring me for all my money. One place I looked at has a regular price and "members price" for every plan. I go to see what a membership entails and it points me to download an app. No clue if the membership is free or not because I don't want or need an app for every utility and purchase I make. People like you and I are not the norm but from my viewpoint you're being reasonable and the world has lost all sense of normalcy and reason.

From a privacy point of view, it makes pefect sense to not share your phone number with a merchant. The only buisness you have with them is a single transaction, they don't need any more information about you other than knowing that you paid.

When I worked retail, I never asked for phone or address or anything. If they volunteered it, I’d do it, but I never asked. Management talked to me about it several times and I just kept not doing it. I think they kept me on in busy times because I could blast through any line of customers faster than anyone else (I wonder why 🤔)

The last time I bought a Mac was like 10 years ago, at an independent computer shop that specialized in them. The person at the register insisted on getting my personal info "because Apple needed it" but I didn't want to give it. The person at the register very slowly sauntered up to their manager, had a long discussion, and eventually they figured something out because I suddenly didn't need to give my info. It was kind of nervewracking because I was paying cash and I was like: what if I hand it over, and they change their mind? It's not like I could call the cops, I'm the wrong demographic.

Anyway, whenever I thought about getting an Apple system, I remembered that experience and went with something else.

I stood ready to pay and then the cashier said "now I just need your phone number and you can pay". Hold up. What. I did not expect that, I honestly had a burst of anger inside me (never gonna take it on a cashier, they are just doing their job). I asked nicely why do I need to give my phone number and I was told that to register me as a member so I can get the discount.

"Sure thing, It's +XX 111 222 3333" Just give them garbage.

I think your misinterpreting your own social anxieties as being made to feel like an "outcast".

The fact of the matter is it's just not normal to question why a store wants your phone number and I'm sure the cashier was taken aback by the whole situation.

Convenience, not privacy, is the norm. There is going to be tons and tons of awkward social interactions when you go against social norms. Accept it and be proud your advocating for your privacy.

I miss print coupons. Hearing "get the app" or "there's an app for it" makes me flinch these days.

Best not to overthink it - The sales clerk is trained to ask for this stuff.

Luckily most times I encounter this I just tell them no I don't have a phone number with them & continue checkout like normal. Sometimes that means not getting a sale price on something but usually I avoid those type of member-specific sales anyway.

And worst case - Just make something up. At Best Buy a sales rep absolutely refused to sell me something from the mobile dept without my info. Which didn't make sense because earlier I had bought something at that same Best Buy with a different rep & that rep took my order without my info no problem (she said she had to enter a phone number but just entered Best Buy's).

Yet this particular sales rep refused to proceed without info, so yeah he got an entire fictional name/address/phone/email on the spot.

Another way they get your phone number is mandatory SMS 2FA login. The Dunkin Donuts app does this shitty behavior.

I asked nicely why do I need to give my phone number and I was told that to register me as a member so I can get the discount.

I declined and said I don’t want to join and would like to just pay.

I've just said "I don't have one" when asked this for awhile. This never seems the phase the cashiers, I'm guessing they know what that really means. Half the time I still get whatever discount, though I've never tried to sign up for a membership saying that.

If it's an online form my phone number is just (local area code)555–5555. I've never had that not take, except for one case where it automatically enabled 2-factor auth and I had to create a new account.

It’s been more than 20y since the first time I remember sternly declining to give either a phone number or postal code to a cashier in a retail shop. It pissed me off then and still pissed me off now.

A long time ago they wanted a phone number for me to get a hair cut. She looked at me like I was crazy when I said no.

Here it's similar. I've found out that if to the question

do you have our membership?

I respond "No, thank you", they often understand correctly and don't assume I want to set one up

Give fake information every time. Waste the cashiers time with questions. Make them pay for it.

I encountered this in a computer club (I mean the place where you play per hour to play computer games on a good PC if you lack a suitable one at home). The accounts there were using phone numbers as usernames, and apparently if one is used, it would have to be verified. However, after refusing I was just given one-time accounts every time (with a random string of digits as the username), I just couldn't save unspent time for another visit so had to pay precisely. Funnily enough, the host herself the first time mentioned one-time phone number rental services for this reason)

I usually just say "Nah, no time, just ring me up."

Be as rude, as harmful and as immoral to them as legally possible. These advertising system workers don't deserve anything good.

If you're visiting from another country, try giving them a number from there (real or fake). What are the odds that their system can cope with international codes?