‘I love my child. But if I could go back in time and get an abortion, I would 100 per cent of the time,’ says Melinda. Kelly Rissman reports on a story that exposes the hurdles women faced before the Supreme Court’s Dobbs decision in June 2022
Not hated exactly, but there will be knowledge that they weren't wanted. They will blame themselves as kids tend to do. Trauma ensues. What a fucking unnecessary tragedy.
Nah hated is entirely possible. Depends entirely on the mother and if she has the emotional and rational capacity to separate it. If her brain makes her think of her rapist every time she looks at her child, it will be impossible to love it.
I hope she can love it but i wouldnt blame her if she cant.
I'm contemplating about whether parents even should tell them or not? On one hand, the kid kind of has the right to know, on the other hand they'd likely hate themselves for it. Personally I think it's better to end pregnancies that come from rape for those reasons. Even if the parents attempt to look past it, subconsciously they will always be reminded of the rapist when they see the kid and they will act accordingly, whether they want to or not.
Kid is gonna read that article. Maybe now, maybe one day. Imagine reading an article about how your mom wishes desperately with all her heart that she didn't have you.
She loves you despite what you are, not because of it. Fuck me.
Yeah I want to admit up top that I have no fucking idea what the right approach is here.
I'm a new parent, but thankfully my kids aren't old enough for me to encounter complicated questions yet.
This might change, but right now my plan is to do my best to avoid cover stories for things. If you're open (as much as is appropriate) and honest (in the context of the delicate situation), that might be better than trying to hide this aspect of the kids ancestry.
As an adult I know that it's possible to simultaneously live a child while acknowledging that an abortion would have been a better option.
I honestly don't know whether a child can understand that.
The thing is, it's not just a conversation with a child. It's lived experience. I'm absolutely confident that my children (we have twins) will know that I love them because of my actions - the time I spend with them every day.
I'm thankful I don't have to navigate this. I would talk to a child psychologist or something to figure out the best way forward. I suspect that will always be communication, but an expert could help you know the best timing, things to watch out for, et cetera.
She could have given him up for adoption, and had even set the stage for it, then decided against it. She had options, but made the decisions that she made. It isn't healthy to channel regret about what could have been into your kid or into political movements that hadn't even happened at the time when she made those decisions.
I read an article a few days ago that a Republican state argued that they needed to codify abortion bans because their teen pregnancy numbers were dropping.
This is absolutely what they want. Force the women into bad positions so they can be more exploitable. Force the children in these situations into bad positions so they can also be more exploitable.
Although, I am sure they prefer the good ol' days when they could just rape their slaves.
There was a study, which I cannot find anymore despite searching for it on google scholar for a half hour, where they looked at a group of people's sexual encounters over a month.
If you expanded 'rape' to be under the age of consent, one or more people involve had alcohol, one or more people were clinically 'drowsy' or asleep, verbal consent never was obtained, or type of sex act or use/none use of condom were not agreed upon by both parties; the researchers found roughly 50% of all sexual encounters in this group could be classified as rape in one way or another.
Makes you wonder what percent of the population is conceived via something that is technically rape.
How fucked. She told the army and they pretty much threatened to demote her. And when she told the rapist, he ghosted her. No one supported her in getting the abortion, and the adopted parents back out when she was six month. She wanted to work in the space program. That's so terribly tragic.
Ya know I have nothing but respect for this woman takes a lot of willpower, probably would've killed the kid myself. But this is why im a guy and single, dont want to risk such instincts making me a monster. That and I aint got a uterus.
Same dude. Younger me would have confidently said something boneheaded like “I’d just drink and smoke until a miscarriage”, older me realizes I don’t have any semblance of capability to understand what must be going through this poor woman’s mind. And then even if she had tried something unorthodox to terminate the pregnancy, these sick fucks probably would have tried to put her in jail for it even though she’s the victim.
Yeah, I didnt even consider that as a full factor. But then again I can confidently say that my kins women wouldnt care enough to even consider it a factor at all, one of them tried to car bomb a man cause "He slapped my ass" luckily the women are not a majority of my kin. But yeah this whole situation existing is fucked, and I am too much of a unga bunga caveman to consider any solution other than the most direct. See problem kill problem, but no thats "immoral" I sometimes wish I was born back when the Kurgans were still new.
If you believe a fetus is a human being I don’t see how you could be pro choice, that’s how I understood your comment at least. Being pro choice is predicated on the idea that a fetus isn’t a human yet. I don’t know any people that can argue that a fetus is a human child at conception and also be pro choice.
Honestly we need to change the way we fight against abortion. The Republicans have successfully made the issue a “murder” issue when it’s really an issue of keeping government out of medical decisions as well as severe lack of education about sex. No women want an abortion , they just don’t want to be pregnant. If we fought to drive education about contraceptives and risks of unprotected sex abortion numbers would plummet.
I've heard arguments that abortion is justified even with fetus personhood because nobody has a moral obligation to serve as a host for anyone else without informed consent. You have the right to do anything whatsoever with your own body, regardless of how much someone else needs it.
they were able to reframe the 'signs of life' as 'when a heartbeat is detected' - yet it's not a heartbeat. it's not a fucking heart yet. And this isn't controversial interpretation, it's literal biological development. How can a 'heart' beat without VALVES? the entire concept is flawed.
We're talking about blastocysts growing into embryos. There aren't organs. There's a bit of goop that's trying to differentiate into many parts, it looks far more like something you'd sneeze out than a wee baby.
So the article or at least the title is stating that she's raising her rapists baby. I understood the title to be derogatory towards the child like it's some kind of burden to raise your child. Which in many senses it can be. But it's not the child's fault, especially since it's already born that it was conceived during a rape. That child shouldn't be held responsible for that event. That's what I meant.
I'm certainly not advocating against abortion, nor am I stating that a fetus is a human.
Granted it has the potential for life or to become a human being at some point. But other than that I don't see how you could have taken my statement to mean what you said it does.
i mean this isn’t really my stance but i’d be willing to play devil’s advocate: a human fetus is a child at conception, i just believe in a utilitarian way that allowing for abortion is more optimal for society than not; in the same way we are all okay with regularly performing castration on pets and animals, a practice typically viewed as horrible and gauche but that we accept for a utilitarian reason (i.e, we have all decided that getting your cat/dog “fixed” is acceptable because it makes the pet significantly easier to deal with behaviorally.) this is still castration tho, they suffer many of the same health problems that human beings do when getting prematurely castrated. remember when the whole internet was outraged over castratos from the 1800s and how terrible a practice it was? we allow that to happen daily to millions of pets, and no one bats an eye. why? because we decided it was simply better, more utilitarian. the same applies to being pro choice in this way, if that was your belief system. you can acknowledge that there do exist similarities between murder and abortion, it is intrinsic to the act. you can also hone your rhetoric beyond stupid regurgitation and realize there are more concise and precise reasons to think the “correct” things, and that in spite of you not walking the world this way yourself these rhetorical paths are still incredibly important for the means of outreach. you suffer from a metaphorical head up the ass, friend, at least that’s what it seems. people are so quick to dismiss and judge anything they’re not immediately aligned with now… the divisive nature of the commons will be the death of us
Even though my mother is part of the Democratic Party, she told me to vote no to limiting government interference for abortion. Guess what, I will vote yes to it.
That sounds about right unfortunately. They'd put her on light duty and send her for mental counseling. That would then be used to prevent promotions or re-enlistment.