Arch
Bdsm, but real careful about the safe word.
Gentoo: no limits.
Anal (Ubuntu)
Because at this point, if you're still on it you're taking it up the ass from Canonical
Maybe we don't need to resort to casual homophobia though to criticize corporates
The phrase taking it up the ass isn't homophobia, it means you're getting fucked by them and not in a good way just like everyone else.
Everyone has a butthole in which to get fucked without lube by canonical, but at least they don't wrap it in sandpaper like Apple or use a nail-ridden baseball bat like Microsoft. Arch and nix go slow and use plenty of lube, embrace gently butt stuff from your os.
Debian is a full day of romantic walks on the beach, fine dining, dancing, and taking in a romantic comedy, followed by easy quick familiar sex and then falling asleep in front of an episode of cozy reality television.
(It can become anything I imagine, but the defaults are just so comfortable...)
Man I've gotten old, gotten stuck in debian with lxc containers (Ubuntu for work, arch for fun) underneath.
Warm and loving on the outside, kinky as fuck behind closed doors.
perfect
Gentoo is busting instantly and waiting 6 months for the Baby to compile
You buy the partner flatpack from ikea and compile the nervous system. Because you added all modules for the complete experience, they open their eyes and flee from your house.
Cowgirl.
She came prepared, she took control and told me this was a hands off experience. I didn’t need to do anything myself. I just had sex and it was cool.
Bazzite (or any other immutable distro)
Fedora, so missionary position, but the lights are on and we're on top of the covers.
That's perfect. And I heard it's not a sin outside of marriage as long as SELinux is enabled...
Big question:
getenforce
i'm a linux user do i look like i have sex
Debian, no-sex is safe sex
NixOS just sits on your face. All the stuff in front of you is awesome. Though you might suffocate at any moment given the options. Oh and sticking your nose too deep into things might get you a broken nose.
Wrong group of people to try to get a Cosmo article out of.
What is Cosmo?
Cosmopolitan magazine.
Infamous for being filled with garbage sex articles to further screw up women’s self esteem.
Abstinence, most likely
Cowgirl (because hat because Fedora)
This comment might actually make me try Fedora 🤔.
Proof that the distro of choice has nothing to do with actually being as close as possible to your wants and needs, but rather of how cool it sounds... in your mind at least.
NixOS, probably some extreme bondage
Arch, masturbation
Nix is a brothel.
Just order off the menu.
Raspberry pi os, its like sex but with more lego
Doggystyle
Slackware?
Puppy Linux
Rocket
Spoiler
endeavourOS
Lol 🤣, good one.
Red rocket 🤔? Nah, way too kinky for Endeavour.
Slackware is a bearded old man trying to get it up, holding a picture of Lilo.
Glory Hole
Raspberry Pi OS is sticking your hardware through a small hole into what a full Linux distribution would feel like, given sufficient imagination
🤣🤣🤣... had a nice chuckle.
Taking tea with the parson, of course.
You’re Hugo Rune, and I claim my five pounds!
Missionary (Linux Mint)
I use mint and I was thinking a dry handjob
In any case, it's something boring and familiar.
Under the desk at office
Deepin Bodhi, Lubuntu Manjaro,
Arch,
Arch,
Arch,
Hahahah what the hell
It really is the best 🤤.
Full Nelson
Oh moderators Clash of Clash gif /hj
What would tiny core Linux be?
Crabs?
Either that or mitosis
