[GAMEDAY] Saturday, September 14, 2024 (#7 Alabama @ Wisconsin, Backyard Brawl, Civil War, Apple Cup, CU @ CSU, UCF @ TCU, and others)

The average ancient Egyptian's diet consisted almost entirely of grain.

This was sustaining, but only barely. Compared to contemporary societies in every direction, they lived shorter lives, had smaller stature, and poorer health. The coarse millstones left grit in the flour that wrecked their teeth over the few decades of their lives.

It was, of course, all they had.

My college football soul is being nourished entirely by the grain of FSU's sucking and it is sustaining, but only barely.

Texas A&M @ Florida

This Florida team looks so unremarkable. I know the weather is ass... but so are Billy's Gators. If A&M didn't play dumb, the score would be a lot worse.

On the plus side, I boiled some peanuts the other day, and I just warmed some up.

Christ on a cracker, Florida is making the tin soldiers from Aggieland look like a good team.

TCU better not suck this bad tonight.
Why does Desmond Watson, the largest of the foot-ball players, not simply eat the others?
Billy: "We need to get some rhythm on offense."

Also Billy: "Yeah, we're gonna keep switching quarterbacks."

I'm gonna tell y'all a secret. A 2-QB system has never been a good thing at Florida. Palmer, Johnson, Brindise, and young Grossman all had holes in their games, and the Leak/Tebow thing was not a true time-share.
- Leak/Tebow
Ok, ngl that hold kinda hurts me. The sheer effort from Badger should be commended
- Phew. Badger got his score.
- And glad he was still the one to finish the drive
This is one of the best setups for a college game. Backup qbs, miserable weather, sloppy play, the gators are losing just about everything you could ask for
- God I hate you, Dulcimer-UT.
  
  🤣🤣🤣
LOL, a nice play but even then the TD goes away from the downfield hold. Every silver lining has a touch of gray.

STOP THE COUNT!

I'm intentionally not tuning into this one so as not to jinx it. I hold a degree from the red school, but, well, frankly, fuck 'em.
0 - 9

O_O

Edit: Boooooooooo, give em the points coward
Didn't see this coming after Kentucky's results last week. Holding Georgia to 63 yards at half, wow.

As I check in this morning I see the cocks leading and FSU somehow losing even harder than anticipated... Go Cocks!

FSU lookin' at 0-3 at this rate. Maybe even 2-10. Also, what is this stat line: DJ is 5/6 for 7 yards?

UTSA @ ¹Texas

The first (and until now, only) time these teams met was in 2022, when I was a professor at UTSA. I showed up to that game in Texas gear but rocked a UTSA hat, thinking I could root for both teams. As soon as it kicked off though, I realized I could only root for my alma mater. Soooo UTSA, I love ya, but go horns go

Uh, Traylor, what are you doing icing your own kicker? Really weird use of a timeout there, and it cost UTSA 3 points
While I'm glad Arch was able to step right in and score, I'm really concerned about Ewers... If he's a little banged up, I'd like him to heal up and not aggravate anything

Edit: OK, glad to see he's staying in at QB on the next series. Aaaaaand that Manning 67-yard TD run was pretty cool, I will say
- I hate the commodification of injuries, especially at this level. The kid is hurt and is obviously hiding from the camera on his way out, you don't need to track him all the way to the locker room
Big man pick six!!!
Well, that INT is not going to aid Ewers' Heisman campaign...

I'm afraid of Oregon State

So far I'd say the Ducks are taking care of buisness
- They had to eventually!

BC over Mizzou makes me happy. The best thing in MO is the girl who broke my heart...

Flipped back and its 2&59???
Yeah of course I just had to open my mouth...

All I need to say is, Miami better beat FSU this year. By a lot.

Memphis @ FSU

As a little wjrii, we lived outside Memphis for a few years, and around 4th grade I realized that this "football" thing my dad and brother liked was indeed pretty cool. Also, just in general I fell in love with understanding the organization of high level sport (SO MANY brackets and leagues of fictional teams done in Crayola colored pencils). All of this is just to say that the Metro Conference and its stillborn dream of football glory remembers... Go Tigers!

Please ignore my Florida degree and 1980s fondness for Miami-based football teams. This is purely wholesome affection for the local team of my childhood and eventual alma mater of several Facebook friends. It definitely has zero connection to any unhealthy fixation on hoping to see my team's rivals dragged down to our level.

Memphis is looking pretty good. Kind of crazy that their QB is the only 4th-year starter in FBS to have played all 4 years at the same school. And it's always nice to root for an underdog.

I'm not keen to make fun of powerhouse programs, as my alma mater was on the receiving end of that for a decade. But it is funny to hear all the boos pouring down from the stands
Wow, from cfp shoe in to 0-3 in 3 weeks... ya love to see it
- I can go into the rest of the games with a good reservoir of hatred joy.
  
  G5 Mike versus SunBelt Billy is going to be the weirdest game ever.
Man FSU is straight up not a good team, huh?

UCF @ TCU

Frogs looking good in the early going. Hoover is very sharp, and Savion Williams is probably going to get drafted in the first round and then completely forget how to play football, as is tradition for TCU #1 WRs.

UCF is going to wear some teams down, though.

Cardiac Knights are back!
FUUUUUUUUUCK. Well, that happened. GG Knights.
Seems like one of the teams UCF will wear down is TCU, but they're going to have to stop the Frogs several times, and also get at least one 2pt conversion because their entire kicking unit seems to somehow have the yips.
- Ugh. Tired Frogs D gets a critical late-game stop, and suddenly the TCU playcalling turns to overly conservative garbage.
Why wasn't kick-catch interference called, especially since they talked about it for a while?
- I mean, I certainly think they could have. I can only guess that since it took a full stride after the UCF guy completed the catch, the question was more about whether the pop amounted to unnecessary roughness.

Not quite espn, not quite

LOL. Before UTSA had their 12-win season in 2021, they were frequently mislabeled as USTA (the tennis association), which I could understand. But the University of Texas getting mistaken with the Southwest Texas State Normal School? I am insulted
- Are you disrespecting Toobin' State University? Alma Mater of LBJ and home of the Center for Texas Music History?!?!?!?

Arkansas St @ Michigan

Eugh, Warren just made a hideous no-look throw for an INT. We really don't have any QBs this year, huh? Hell, just go wildcat offense

Loveland was wide open. Underthrew him by 10 yards. There is no way a run based offense built around Orji is worse than this, right?
- I kind of agree. As long as Orji can make his throws to Loveland, that's probably better than this. Gotta figure it out before getting too deep into conference play

Beamer s/o to the crowd after that fumbled snap... love to see it

The ending of this game is like

"YOU get a turnover"

"NO YOU GET A TURNOVER"

Driving home from Raleigh looking like a crazy person yelling at the South Carolina refs through my radio!!!

Still can't believe they took back that touchdown due to a completely legal block.
- Yeah I'd be surprised if today is the last anyone speaks of the officiating in that matchup

Only South Carolina can find a fool proof way to snatch defeat from the hands of certain victory 😐

Kirby Smart: please don't drop us in the polls.

Damn these refs are out to screw over South Carolina looks like.

Bama @ Wiscy

Not sure Wisconsin has much of a chance in this. I'm not convinced TVD is an amazing quarterback. Now, if this game was played in late November that would give them much more of a home field advantage...

Edit: oh wait, he's already out of the game 5 mins in. Let's see how the backup is

Alabama misses the FG! They've been too good at kicking lately -- could this be a return to their pre-2020 form of kicking?

Kent State @ ⁵ Tennessee

TN just outran the DIGITAL YELLOW LINE
37 pts in a quarter, older-UT record!
- I will refrain from making a UT rebuttal as long as the Vols deliver this same energy to ou next week
Wow, Orange britches against Kent St, did not see that one coming
The triple digit dream is alive
God damn I swear Iamaleava isn't even hard. Just practice in a mirror exactly one time my dude
lmao, just when you thought maybe finally we'd punt
Alright boys, let's get this bread
They're talking about the body farm!!!
up 30 - 0 in the first

surprise onside kick

I fucking love Heupel

WVU @ Pitt

Just saw that Pitt kid throw a bottle at WVU, please don't guys.
Just tuning into this one. I don't watch much Pitt football or any NFL, so I missed that they changed the name from Heinz Field. And they removed the giant ketchup bottles? Is nothing sacred in America?
- They at least returned to the colors of the team under Majors, so good for them. I don't know much about the field but that was a talking point when we played @ Pitt in 22 for the second edition of the Majors Classic
That was so not pi...
That's an easy fake punt. I don't know if it even counts as a fake, punter just ran
Ooh, I think that shoulda been onside...
- Ok, I just need to keep my little whore mouth shut...
Great finish, I've got some swimmers out at Pitt now. I hope they have fun and stay safe

Miami vs Ball State

The game has been in weather delay for awhile. Just give me my football game!
- You can come check out the other florida game that got a weather delay, you might enjoy this...

¹³ Utah @ Utah State

This just got interesting with that pick!
Does this one have a name or trophy?
- According to Wikipedia, it's called the "Battle of the Brothers" (never heard that name before). But apparently, they and BYU all play for the Beehive Boot. What an amazing trophy! Things like this are why I love cfb
Utah honestly still looks pretty good with Rising out