When people think a bidet is stupid, I always ask: If you had poop on your arm, would you clean it with water or just wipe it with a dry towel and call it a day?
Three seashells and a poop knife was good enough for my pappy and my grandpappy and his pappy before him, and it’s damn well good enough for me & my sons.
I highly recommend the rinseworks bidet. It is designed much better than the one from the pic. You don't have to shove your entire hand in the toilet to use it.
https://rinseworks.com/