I remember when these things first came out and I was super excited to try them and also the disappointment when I finally got to try them and they were just god awful.
But they're certainly not the worst lunchables. The nachos and chicken nuggets are even worse. The nachos you'd think would be fine. Just corn chips and cheese sauce. But the chips are stale and weird tasting and the cheese sauce is also not what you expect from nacho cheese. It's almost like they are trying to make kids hate junk food by making their junk food taste horrible.
The best ones are still the OGs that just have lunch meat, cheese and crackers. Not quite a fancy charcuterie board, but they also only cost about a dollar or two.
Eh, my kids love them all. But we're mean parents and hand-pack them healthy lunches for school, so they only get them occasionally as treats. My kids just started school, and today they got freshly cut fruit, rice, and some marinated beef (cooked this morning).
But they'll inevitably complain when they get home today that their friends got lunchables or the ghetto school lunch or whatever.
More like "what if this cost $0.05 to produce and I sold it for $3.50"?
Don't forget to add a bit of lead for seasoning
Allegedly lead tastes sweet so...
Exactly. For seasoning
Don't lynch me but... I have to confess that I liked them that way. The greasy & salty pepperoni, the stale crackers, the mushy cheese, all of it. I'm not a picky eater. You could serve me garbage and I'd say you're a great cook.
I also loved those as a kid. I didn't like cold cuts so they were the only ones I'd eat.
No joke last night I went for a late night snack. I pulled out some hard salami, aged Swiss, and some nice crackers. I realized this bastard charcuterie was just a luxury Lunchables.
I disagree. Your hasty charcuterie was just that. And I bet it was delicious.
Lunchables, on the other hand, are the cheap charcuterie knockoff devised by people who lost their tastebuds decades ago to excessive chainsmoking and the kind of world-weary ennui specific to only the most misanthropic millionaires. Their lack of any sense of smell is only eclipsed by their tenuous grasp on what's left of their zeal for life; a kind of self-hating spiral that not even the most debauchery-packed weekend in Vegas could ever hope to recover. No, these cretins are not people, they are the mere shadows, the faintest of pencil outlines of human beings. Lunchables are the best effort of these people attempting to emulate what they vaguely recall a meal actually is.
Pizza: When it’s good, it’s good. When it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. When it’s a Lunchable… admit it, you kept eating.
The lunchables seems like a dystopian food stuff created by a team of psychopaths.
What if we made all of the food crappy, added extra preservatives and maybe a little bit of lead?
The Romans added led to their drinks it must have been delicious or something! ~Kraft food scientists probably
At this point I wouldn't be surprised if the meeting went like this:
"So, we sell these products by their weight, why don't we add something heavy in there just to boost profits?"
Cold pizza can be amazing!
Came here to say, now that OP made me think about it, it seems a lot of thought and hard work had to go into fucking-up cold pizza.
And full of lead.
The crazy part to me is that it's specifically the Lunchables made for schools.
Really makes me feel like Sisco or Bon Appetit (industrial prison complex companies) are the ones producing the food, just like they do for prisons.
As a kid though. Lunchables was the shit
tbh cold pizza is fire
Anyone put the m&ms on it?
You absolute monster
Didn't they make one where that was the point? You even had a little sachet of chocolate sauce to spread across the dough.
Yes, some of the packs contain a 'desert' pizza that's m&ms and chocolate sauce
I feel so attacked. I just got done eating one, and it wasn't even name brand. To be fair I'm having to live out of a motel with only a microwave and limited money
Been there a few times. Car, too. If you can afford it, they sell hot plates/plug in coolers at Walmart. But my suggestion is a deep fryer. Not the square one, the round one. If you take the basket out, it's essentially just a large pot. You can do anything in it you'd do in a skillet, but can also boil water or make soup. They're invaluable in those situations. Depending on the size of the hotel mini fridge, you can normally get a thing of chicken leg quarters in it. That and some veggies and you can make a million different meals. Hit me up if you want any advice, I've seriously been down that road, and it's not easy, but there are some tips and tricks that make a lot more bearable.
Thank you, this is good stuff. The fridge is pretty fucking small, and they seem to have a strict absolutely no cooking in the room rule. They have outdoor grills, but then I have to get charcoal and learn how with out ruining the food. Can't spare any. I'm so sick of moving or I'd try to find a slightly better motel
Hand can opener and canned beans/peas. Already cooked, come in their own serving container. Just need a utensil and a can opener.
I am by no means above eating out of a can. Soup has gotten me by pretty well. Frozen dinners seem to make me hungrier. Thanks for the tip!
Wishing you the best buddy
Thank you, I appreciate that
Whatever, fuck you, you'll eat it
Back in the day, lunchables were the cool kid food. That and kid cuisine. Now, lunchables seem like what dumpster juices would taste like.
its the charcuterie board for the unwashed masses
Inspired by ohio valley style pizza
The idea is sound, make something easy to pick up for your kid for lunch. The execution isn't so great. For how much they charge, an entrepreneur should get on this making actual good lunches that are healthy but kids will still want to eat.
I get the cheaper Armour brand ones, my kids like them better and they're half the price.
Still not healthy though.
Even partially healthy would be an improvement.
Alright, them there's fighting words!
