How do you feel you've aged?
How do you feel you've aged?
Are you radically different than your younger self? Are there key elements that have stayed the same? Most parts? Do you feel as if you've followed the "roadmap of life" or forged your own path? Have there been "chapters" or do things all sort of slide into one contiguous flow? Share what you'd like!
The bigoted version of me from 10 years ago would be shocked to know he is queer and a socialist.
Edit: he would probably also be shocked about the autism
closet case me would have his mind blown to know that there are classically beautiful men that are into average looking chubby bears; i regret not enjoying myself in my 20's every time i get to envy all the 20 somethings enjoying themselves to their fullest at the clubs.
at least it's fun to enjoy it vicariously as i watch them have fun. lol
I have some friends who never ended coming out. I mean, they told me they were gay, but they tucked that shit so far back it was in Narnia. I once seen Luenell say something like "It don't matter what you look like honey, as long as you can make them laugh!" But really there's all kinds and I have always felt in this world - as long as all individuals are down with the tango - let it rip! Don't agree with the chase though, that's just creepy. Let it go~~~~ (By that I mean one-sided interests)
You know one thing I can tell you is that I came up in the gay clubs and it was fun and cool and a certain way but I don't really know how wholesome it was. And I remember always talking to folks and telling them that I just wanted to create a space that was healthier for young queers to traverse that didn't have to just be at night (and I guess bookstores?)
But I think while everyone kinda lacks third-spaces now - that queers have a pretty accessible support network online. And some in person, depending on how they assemble. But either way, I think there's a lot more you can do than get wasted and mack on someone nowadays, and that's pretty cool. Cause it leads to healthier relationships with self and others I think.
One thing though, I will say you gusy can go to gay bars. Like actual bars, not clubs. If you're into that kind of thing. Cause men of all age ranges hang out at those. But it's also kinda a scene, you know? I'm not a gay man, just a lesbian who's sibbies are gay men. So I love hanging with my guys. Big hug to ya sweet bear <3~
Hey, we recruit!
Lmao same
I have much less wonder now, and it is ruining my day to day enjoyment at times. It is hard to dream big when you know more about the world, and how corrupt it all can be. They call it depression, but when reasons are provided for lack of opportunities it's seen as downright shameful to be upset about it.
I miss the times when I was more naive about the world, it made it all interesting.
I just had my first child and discovering the world with him has really been eye-opening to the "small things" again.
Arnold H. Glasow basically covered this indirectly when he said "the fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion."
I must be the biggest idiot on Earth =P!
Reminds me of the events that transpired over the last half a decade or so.
Over the last several years my mental state was deteriorating. Stress accumulated. Various stuff, employment, overworked, underpaid. Inability to afford housing. Covid. War overseas. Had a mental breakdown at some point. Ended up on meds and in therapy. After multiple sessions was informed by my psychologist that “the reactions you’re exhibiting are normal for a person that has experienced all the items and stress associated with all we discussed up to now, unfortunately I cannot help you as the response is perfectly normal and there’s nothing wrong with you”
I still don’t know how I feel about that specific statement after several thousand dollars of therapy, but I guess it’s better than assuming my depression isn’t “good enough” to be real depression.
There’s a good chance the world should be ashamed to be in the state that it’s in, not for you to be ashamed that you finally see it as it is.
You might like this hidden brain on languishing and how if unadressed it can turn into other mental health issues. But basically the concept is you've got everything you need - yet you still feel this uneasiness inside your being. Your call, but it was an interesting listen. *It is tied to an author who just published a book just a heads up.
Have you ever thought about sparking your creativity? Idk if you like anything, but Lynda Barry's Syllabus is kind of a fever dream but I really dig it. But I mean, just finding a way to get some of that energy out might help?
But yeah, everything sucks. Idk what the fuck is going on with anything anymore but it all sucks. I had to make a PieFed account to turn off the piles and piles of awful bullshit you can do absolutely zilch about. So I get this stuff, the art, the science news - all super! And someitmes I hop over to the other side and I am regretting it abotu three seconds later.
And I could do news if things were so cyclical, half the stuff wasn't ads for people/things, and there was something I could actually do other than feel fucking horrible over what I am reading. And I know knowledge is power and ignorance is a privledge but hot damn - what am I going to do about even one freakin' piece of news I read on this site? Like, what are others doing?
Eh.
Big hugs, you got this. Just keep going, and maybe life will send you roses. Or even if it doesn't, maybe find joy in the small stuff? Eh.
Early 40s with 2 active kids under 9. Nothing works any more, constantly exhausted. 20 year old me had no idea.
Aww man, I'd be six feet under. Ugh. Not saying kill yourself, just saying I feel your exhaustion coming through the screen. On the plus side, you are explicitly forming the hope of the future. And that's pretty cool. And when they're grown, and hopefully they're doing well - I really hope you feel pride through all the pain and exhaustion. Cause you did something/and are doing something phenomenal. I hope you've got some solid support?
FIX IT!
In my 20s I got really optimistic about aging. See I was unschooled and never really had any life outside my home life, which wasn't great. Didn't get a high school diploma and starting my first job felt impossible.
Soon I made a group of friends, I discovered art, and I felt like I was capable of learning and growing and having a fulfilling life. I actually looked forward to being 30 because I thought I'd have matured a lot and learned how to live.
30 now. My friends were toxic. I lost my passion for art. I can't find any work outside of retail and I can't get an education because I'm so busy making ends meet. I feel like I've regressed into the worst version of my shut-in child self. I work and I get what sleep I can and I have no relationships.
I really hope this is part of the process.
You're going to be okay. It might fucking suck right now, but you'll be okay. I am not sure if it is still around, but there is a thing tied to everyone's social security that can give you a free-education under x-amount of dollars ($30k?) training underutilized individuals w/ higher education and the trades. You could be a CNA if you've got the openess to it, you can do CNC training, you can do radiology tech stuff, dog grooming. You could do workforce at a local college. Maybe get a cert in wastewater which pays well. Or idk, robotics. It's factory work, but it also pays well. It's kinda like CNC from what I hear. You can do some freecodecamp.org on the low or Odin Project if you've got the time. I think following a class would be a lot safer, because you are kind of forced to a rythm over self-study. I wish I had more, but I know this much! Oh phlebotomy as well, you can study that. An ex of mine was fucked and then studied medical billing. They followed jobs across the US (recruiters) and ended up super wealthy. So that's pretty cool.
For some people it's really clear what they want and where they're going. And for others it shifts. It sounds like you knew what you wanted, and then realized it wasn't working. You can give up on art, but you know...you can find others to make art with who are fuck-faces. I have found sharing the joy of creativity sparks more. I'm making an equisite corpse with someone right now, but if you wanna make one too - I'd totally be down. Whatever medium, I don't care. Just let me know.
I'm around =)
Friendships can be just as hard as relationships. It's kinda like how people get married without being prepared to commit and invest. Same with friendships.
Are you radically different than your younger self?
Oh yes. Younger me was an intolerable little shit.
Are there key elements that have stayed the same? > Most parts?
Lots of stuff. Getting older is mostly additive, hobby wise. I'm just worse at all the physical aspects of each hobby.
Do you feel as if you've followed the "roadmap of life" or forged your own path?
I had a pretty clear plan and stuck to it. Make the pretty beep beep computer box dance, and charge people money for doing so.
Have there been "chapters" or do things all sort of slide into one contiguous flow?
Definitely separate chapters. 0-2: Literally full of shit. 2-22: Full of shit, because I didn't know any better. 22-32: Full of shit, but working on improving. 32-42: Getting my shit together. 42-62: Still full of shit, after all that effort. 62-Dead: Probably still full of shit, honestly. Hopefully in a fun way, by now.
Oh this was fun. I think I was laughing through the whole lot. Hahahaha! You're funny! Beep-boopers of a certain era are goofs, idk if it's some intelligence -> wit type thing or what? Either way, keep kicking until you're not. Sounds like you're a goodun'!
p.s. - I like your talk about hobbies growing, but skill lessening. I love drawing, but it's gotten harder for me cause sometimes I have MIckey Mouse gloves for hands. But I still love the act, so you know - even getting scratch down makes me =)
I'm at 35, still full of shit, but indeed getting it sorted out and pulling my shit together is a theme since last couple of years.
I also make computers do beep boop :). Wish you many good years before you <3
Early 40's and often get mistaken for early 30's. I think I'm doing pretty okay on the aging front. Having a daily skin care regimen from a young age works wonders.
The hair's starting to gray though, so we'll see how long it lasts.
Most tastes and values stay the same. I feel less emotional intensity and motivation for everything though, for better or worse.
Mentally, learning is harder, thinking is slower.
Physically I will get sore more and more easily if I don't stretch and exercise, but by the same token I am in a better state of fitness than ten years ago.
They always played up that anyone can learn anything at any age but it really does get harder as you get older. I'm not sure if it's because of obligations, the juices slowing down (less plasticity), or just having less of a feel for it. Kudos for the fitness and cheers!
As I've watched the continued and utter destruction of our natural habitat, the increased pollution and started reading up on climate changes effects and Limits to Growth I realised I didn't want to be part of what was happenig and wanted to distance myself as much as possible from the people who were. Being surrounded by people and things that make you sick in the mind and body is not what I wanted. It did take a near death experience to catalyse the thoughts into actions though.
I had a change of life about 25 years ago, am now 57. I quit my job, my wife at the time didn't want to take that journey with me, so got divorced. Now have a parter who does, live frugally (which I always mostly have, just back then I had lots of surplus income I invested, now only a little surplus income from said investments) and am debt free in a little cottage in a small town. A few missteps along the way, as I am not the all seeing eye.
Looking back my regret was not doing it sooner, never been brave I guess ?
Interesting segue, my next door neighbour is a recently retired crane operator who installed windfarms with mega cranes and before that was a lawyer and before that emigrated from another country.
I am so freakin' unbelievably thankful to be with someone who didn't start from a place of minimalism but ultimately arrived here. Because it just makes life so much easier. You don't buy a bunch of junk. You don't consume a bunch of junk. And simple comforts reign supreme. I am glad you guys are happy and you're living simply. I am not sure what big picture will happen with us. By that I mean, I don't know where we're going to go or how we're going to live. But I think a lot of stuff is up in the air for most. Glad you guys got to escape the rat race though.
As someone who just came out of a long term relationship, I don't know how you can have an interesting life and survive the emotional scars.
I can understand why people trundle through life without, settling for compromise after compromise until your mind is depleted to the point of stable glue. It just hurts less.
Your pfp 👌🏻
At the end of my 20s I can feel that I’m becoming stupider. Reading texts or just thinking about a problem take more effort than they used to.
I know I keep saying dumb shit all over the joint but like...uh...you ever think that maybe you've got an undiagnosed mental condition that's messing with you? Or that maybe you're not eating well enough? (I only say this because the Brain-Gut connetion) Or just like...idk, not giving yourself enough time to decompress? Cause legitimately you might be exhasuted, you might be depressed, you might be malnurished, you might be ADHD, you might just need to run. I mean could be anything, but if you feel like you're losing iq you might be suffering from brain-fog or something like that. Idk, I'm not a doctor. I'm just saying like...there might be something to it, you know?
I feel like I've been hit by a couple of SUV's and only barely able to claim to be in my 30's. A few years ago I had an xray done and was in a room waiting for a doctor. This random guy walked in and asked my name, age, and if I had just had my scapula xrayed. He said He had to double check that nothing had been mixed up because my bones looked like someone in their 80's... Maybe avoid actually getting hit by those SUV's. My folks are in their mid to upper sixties, but I'm still the slower crochety one, unless I'm on a bike. For all you mid to old farts, there is a reason so many of us are on bikes. It may seem impossible, hell, I can barely sit up or walk, but it is amazing how bad of shape a person can be in and still ride a bike when it is properly setup and fit to the person. Without riding I fall apart both physically and mentally.
In other news, I expected the logarithm of day length verses lifespan to level out so that days seemed like a stable unit of mental measure, but the slowdown never happened and a day is an impossibly short amount of time.
That's fucking miserable. Jesus christ? Genetics!?!? Idk. I mean what do you even do in this situation? I know they fix that shoulder joint. But idk if they fix that back part. But Jesus! I can't see your name when replying but you wouldn't magically happen to be that person that I talked to in the dancing molecules article chit-chat? Cause if you are, and you're still lined up for surgery god bless. If not, and there is some kinda treatment I hope somebody's got your back and you've got a little time you can point towards that. Ooph. This hurt to read.
Am I radically different than my younger self? Hmm, I've become truer to my younger self than I ever was in my early-mid twenties.
I grew my hair back out when it started thinning because I had it grown out when I was a teenager. I only ever cut it short to please others. I figured If I was gonna go bald, I'd enjoy what's left while I had it.
My politics moved left from the neoliberal views I used to hold once I realized how entrenched financial interests were responsible for almost every longterm societal problem. I figure If I become A full blown tankie by the time I'm 72, I will have done something right.
I have always been a staunch atheist but I have recently discovered the peace associated with spirituality like that proposed by Sam Harris. Philosophy has become much more important to me in general. I've always wanted to volunteer in my community and now I do
I realized that sometimes life won't let you follow the road map no matter how badly you want it. -All I can do is try not to stress too much over it. I'm In the latter half of my 30s now.
Yo, can you explain this tankie thing? Cause I seen people being grumpy as fudge about it on here. And I was like - what? Is? A? Tankie? YO!? And then I tried to look it up and was further confused and said I just don't think I get the internet. I'm gunna chill for the rest of today. And so, I did =P!
I too enjoy a cup of spirituality. I was going to church for a spin or three (I used to go to a temple but I don't have one around) but I have such utter grumpy feels about finding that someone might have diddled a skittle that I dropped it all for now. I figured I'd just keep going in my own way. Philosophy is a blast, I was practicing stocism for a while because I am an extremist. But then looked at Putin, figured he's probably the most stoic human being alive and decided to drop it.
I'm glad you got into the volunteer scene =)
Same age homie-g! Sounds like we're walking some similar brain-goo =)!
There's a chance I may regret posting this but a "Tankie" is a militant communist, one that still approves of the Governments of China, Russia, and possibly the DPRK even though hardly anything about those countries today resemble the Communism Marx, Engels, and even Lenin once wrote about. The term is often considered pejorative.
Age of empires
Addiction issues, I see =P!
I'm only 24 yet can see by now where the crochetiness comes from.
I feel like the world has gotten way faster than it was when I was 24. Idk if I could say the same about the gen above me because Gen X was freakin' bonkers. But for sure it feels faster. I'd be in the same boat.
A fun-tastic little shit blow-up I had two seconds ago at a certain pizza human (*On here, not at some freakin' service worker) showed me that even though I age I am still the same little shit throwing monkey. There's a super indulgent breakup song called Keep Your Name where the singer points out that his ex was changing and he's always just felt the same. To be honest, no matter what I've been through I always just seem to be the same. Same! Me - I don't know if that means I have just an absolutely solid sense of self, I am a wretched asshole, or there's just all types in this world. And yes, I understand that people change no matter what. That's life, you will change as you grow. Things will be added, things will be taken, and some stuff transforms. But I have a habit of writing out lists of things that I want and the overarching themes and idealisms have always been the same. Even my diet, while shifting here and there - always seems to be based off the same set wants (I am a chronic veggie lover, it's really a problem). I have always found this very funny as a whole, because I cannot stay static as a person. Not sure if you're heard (or figured it out) but I am ADHD as fuck. And even medicated, I crave that sweet, sweet chaos of change. Yet I seem to be me -> being me -> being me -> being me. It boggles my mind. Shrugs?
Honestly, I'm now excellent at what I do and have confidence in that but, as I wander through my upper thirties, I'm not really feeling much different than my mid twenties.
I heard someone say thirties are the new twenties. I don't know if they're saying that because life expectancy went up (I think it came back down since then?) or because they were being catchy like a Cosmo article. But I am super glad your hard work paid off, because nothing is lovelier than mastery =)!
When I was young, I was angry all the time. Now I'm a lot more chill. It took me a long time to internalise the idea that losing my temper always made things worse instead of better but I'm glad I did.
Idk your gender, but a transwoman once told me that testosterone feels like being behind the wheels of a really fast car and wanting to push the pedal down all the way, all the time. I think transpeople as a whole would do wonders for gender studies, but eh! I wonder if it's like that and I am glad you didn't end up doing anything so drastic it messed you up for life. Here's to more non-violent living =)~!!!
when I was young, I was hopeful and immortal. Now I'm seeing the doors closing, the ship sinking, and the person I see in the mirror is beginning to resemble someone I don't like.
So far, mid 20s and over the last few years I feel it's ever so slightly harder for me to be on my knees. That, and I naturally lean a lot more into one foot when standing at the sink doing dishes, so I find I gotta sit after doing dishes to rest whichever foot was being leaned on because I usually take a long time doing them.
I’m the poster child for The Road Not Taken. It’s been a weird and wild ride.
The same since single-digit age:
- Still strongly align with the Party of the European Left (I’m from USA)
- Still a devout zoophilist
- Still prefer vegan food
Different at 62:
- Less physical strength & flexibility
- Switched from theist to atheist
- Learning to enjoy my irrelevance
ETA: zoophilist
A zoophilist is generally defined as someone who has a deep love or affinity for animals, often expressing a strong emotional connection to them and advocating for their rights, welfare, and protection.
Nothing sexual there, people. I abhor animal abuse, but I’m blown away by how restrained your responses were in an effort to be inclusive. Also, I don’t have a penis.
Still a devout zoophilist
Sorry, a what now?
Wait, hot damn I read that as like someoen who loves animals. Eh, life! Okay. Well, it takes all kinds. Not in love with that. Cause you know, consent. But I can't say a damn thing about it. Because to be honest, I knew someone else who was of that life many moons ago. They told me cause I've just got one of those faces people be telling shit to. Felt the same way when they told me. Not about that life. Not exactly happy about it. Not really sure where to sit there. But I don't really have any say in it in this department.
(I def legit thought it was like being a vegan =P!)
And before people come knocking on my door I don't have contact with this person. I had no actual knowledge of anything they did. I don't even know if they did anything. Because as far as I knew, they were a virgin (which they said). And all things aside, it might have just been furry stuff. But I don't know because I literally DO NOT KNOW!!! So no, I didn't report animal abuse or anything, because I literally had nothing to do with it other than just like...hearing it like someone telling me they like eating farts or something and then it was gone.
You sound like an absolute blast, and I dig it. 10/10!
Sounds like you're doing life right, whatever roads you took to get to where you're at =)
My knees and lower back remind me that I've aged.
Just the other day I had to help my gal who is actually super, super active but reached down to move something (what? I can't remember) and just ended up lying on the floor because she pulled her back. Was sad =(! Is always sad, pertaining to everyone. Oh, backs!
I'm essentially the same but with more wisdom/experience, less anxiety, and worse health.
Sounds like there's a lot more samies than I thought there would be. *High-five!
Less anxiety! *High-five!
Worse health...*Low-five!?
About to turn 58 here. Can't complain. I've led a pretty productive life, always stayed busy. No children, always taking on a new hobby. Backpacked frequently, kayaked, fished, always tried to learn something new. Kept a garden, built a garage bigger than my house, put up fences, remodeled my house plus a rental property. Doctor's assistants would tell me I had the heart rate of a professional athlete or something like that. However a few years ago I slowed down dramatically. Gained 30 pounds. Back hurts more often, sore muscles don't heal as fast. Use it or lose it as they say. I still have most of my teeth and all of my thick luscious hair so there's that haha. Yes I do view my life in chapters. I've stayed the same person but have grown less optimistic
Someone said something that really struck me. I just wish I could remember who, they are (or were? I imagine they're still alive but who knows - sometimes this stuff all blends together) a queer photographer who recorded the sexual activities of same-sex couples and self. Either way, she said something on aging like "I always thought I was young, until I went to the doctors and suddenly I walk out and I'm old." And you could really feel the frustration and pain in her words. It made me sad, because sudden health issues can really take you down a peg or three. And you don't usually know about them until you're on the ground. But I will say my mom's partner is about same boat (but older) and he kept about the same thing going on. And while he can't do things as actively as he used to - he still stays fit using a rowing machine and he still keeps-a-going. So I know (from what I'm reading here) you'll figure out a way to get what you need.
But not only that, and I always joke about this - but you'll want that little bit of fat on you for when you get older cause I swear to god you get hit with some sickness and if you're too skinny it just wipes you from the Earth. At least as I seen it when I worked in a home =P!
Okay, that's it, you dun-did good and may you keep doing well =)!
How have I aged... to quote the tourettes guy, "You look like 200lbs of bird shit!"
Ahahahahaha!!!! HAHAHAHA! Aww man, I threw my head back on this one. Thank you for that laughs. Hahaha!
Hahaha! Shit. Hahaha. Aww, still laughing!
Oh, I get this. You know I'm gunna keep talking Katz cause it's the only fkin thing I am watching right now but in it Paul F Tompkins says he eats like garbage yet he still has that little gleam in his eye and as long as you combine the knowledge of the two he's doing alright. So maybe you too have a little gleam, even if you've slowly evolved to a total glorbo. It's pretty funny though, and I wish you all the best. Hahahahaha!
Seeing younger people easily overcome the hurdles we once struggled with.
It makes you kinda giggle like a nerd, right?