Workaholic, needs discipline

Find a form of exercise you enjoy doing for its own sake - and it doesnt need to be in the gym, in fact given that you feel you need to be perfect at something the first time, you might be better off doing something not gym based

I swim every day I can, usually get in between 10-12 km of laps a week, I also cycle to/from the pool, work, shops, in fact anything I can. Cycling instead of driving will not only improve your fitness and help lose weight, but also save money if you use a bike to get places you'd otherwise drive or take public transport. You could also do hiking or even just walking. Just going for a walk/ hike in nature is a good way to alleviate depression too (as is cycling). You may find there are hiking/ walking groups in your area, maybe even an LGBT one, that will have the bonus of giving you some socialising on top

Whatever you do, quit your side gig unless you really need the money, and quit or restrict the amount of gaming you do, commit to doing something physical instead outside if possible.

You either like going to the gym or you don't.

Do you like going to the gym? Or do you see it like a chore that you MUST do?

As the other commenter mentioned, maybe find other activities that help you stay in shape.

If you like to do things perfect, have you put yourself goals at the gym? Like increasing weight, reps, etc?

I feel you.

Things that helped me (sorry about the formatting; I’m still trying to figure that out):

1. embracing the fact that learning new things means initially sucking at them and there’s no way around that. But vulnerability in an environment in which others feel similarly is a good thing because it can make it easier to strike up a friendship.

2. if you can’t be consistent, be persistent. I’ve been working out for the past 6-7 years, with the exception of a yearlong stretch in because I had a suprapubic catheter and finding adaptive training is hard, especially in the middle of a pandemic. I eventually found one and we’ve been working together for well over two years, even though the cath came out 1.5 years ago. But the past six months have been stressful because of work. So there are weeks in which I only work out once, maybe twice. It’s not great, but it’s still better than nothing and vastly better than overtraining, which I did last year because I tried to use working out as a solution for all my stress and wound up with tennis elbow that took the rest of the year to rehab. But I’m still stronger than I was six months ago. Glacial progress is still progress!

3. there’s nothing wrong with paying for knowledge from an expert, if you can do that. Working with a trainer has been super helpful in learning more about how to move with proper form and without getting hurt. I’ve applied those lessons to other forms of exercise that I do on my own (lately, it’s been steel mace workouts). I don’t think I’d have been able to learn on my own without hurting myself if I hadn’t first learned about the importance of seemingly little things, like breathing correctly.

4. have a way to fill in the gaps in your routine. If I can’t go running because of poor air quality, I have steel maces and half a tire to pound on and I have an air bike if I’m limited to indoors activities or can’t be away from my desk for too long. If I’m injured, I have resistance bands and very light kettlebells