Supposedly Alexander the Great went to visit Diogenes in a suburb of Corinth to see what his deal was. When Alexander asked if Diogenes wanted anything from him, Diogenes reported replied “yes, move, you’re blocking the sun.”
Afterwards, Alexander was so amused and impressed that he’s quoted as saying “it I were not Alexander, I wish I were Diogenes.”
Diogenes didn't exactly tell him to fuck off, it was more that he made a request for him to move over as if Alexander was literally any other man on Earth. An equal. Which arguably is more insulting as I'm sure Alexander's enemies often told him to fuck off, but this was the first time he was requested to stand aside by a dude known to publically masturbate.
Later, Alexander found Diogenes picking at the bones of a long dead servant, and when Alexander inquired as to what Diogenes was doing, Diogenes replied that he was trying find the difference between these bones and the bones of Alexander's father. Zero fucks given because in the end we are all bones.
He only used it as a masterbatorium after getting caught jerking off in public one too many times. When asked about it, he is quoted as replying "If only it were as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly."
A song I sang in high school choir, written by Rick Sowash:
The philosopher Diogenes lived in a tub in the marketplace. He owned the clothes on his back and a wooden cup. One fine morning, when he saw a man drinking out of his hands, he threw away the cup.
Alexander the Great, when he came to Athens, he went down to the market place to see the philosopher Diogenes. As he was about to leave, he asked the philosopher Diogenes, “is there anything at all that I can do for you?” “Yes,” said Diogenes, “you can get out of my light.”
People referred to diogenes as a dog as a form of insult, but diogenes was like "YOU KNOW WHAT FUCKERS? THAT SHOE FUCKING FITS." and then he called himself "Diogenes the dog".
As you could maybe tell I may have paraphrased a bit. But who knows, I don't speak old greek. I had latin in school.
It's ironic that Digenes's fanboys (like the fanboys of stoicism), use his example as a model to better integrate, cope, and succeed in postmodern late-capital society.
Modeling one's self after Digenes without being homeless is like modeling oneself after Michael Jackson without being able to dance.
Digenes looks down from eternity and invites these posers to get fucking wrecked.
I think about, "behold, man" when anyone mentions Diogenes.
According to Diogenes Laërtius’ third-century Lives and Opinions of the Eminent Philosophers, Plato was applauded for his definition of man as a featherless biped, so Diogenes the Cynic “plucked the feathers from a cock, brought it to Plato’s school, and said, ‘Here is Plato’s man.’ ” When asked about the origin of his epithet, cynic deriving from the Greek word for dog, Diogenes replied that it was given to him because he “fawns upon those who give him anything and barks at those who give him nothing.”