Start saving for retirement now. You can make literally millions by putting away 10% of your income early on. Do it automatically so you never even notice the money gone.
If you are worried about making the wrong choice and your company doesn’t have a 401k, open an IRA somewhere (Fidelity if you need someone to make the decision for you) and pick a date targeted fund. Set up auto deposit. Never look at the balance.
You can always make it better later but for now the best thing to do is start. Don’t let analysis paralysis get in the way.
It's easy to believe you're invincible in your twenties. Or "later me can deal with it.". As that later version of me, I'm not a huge fan of that earlier version in a lot of ways. It's fine, I'm who I am for what I went through, and I'm righting the ship. But the more cans you kick down the road, the more you have to deal with later and the harder they are to deal with. Physically, mentally, financially. It's ok to try to live life freely, but definitely be aware of this and consider kicking one less can every chance you get.
If you're working in the attic, under the house, around dirt/dust/debris wear a mask/respirator. It's so nice to be able to take deep breaths without coughing later in life (and outclass your peers in the stamina department) 👍
Pro tip: Even though they're bigger and bulkier respirators are much more comfy than masks.
Smoking, drinking and gambling never ends well. Stay away from addictions.
Don't try to proof how manly you are to your friends/girls. It rarely pays off. Its ok to have a veggie dish at the restaurant instead of a bloody steak. Its ok to not speed with your car to look cool. Its ok to wear whatever the fuck you want as long as you like it, it fits well and its practical for you. Do what you like and be proud of it.
Always save time for your hobbies. Growing up doesn't means you can't have fun. If you are in a relationship make sure your partner gives you enough space and time for yourself.
Travel. Try new things. Eat food you've never tried before.
Get into the habit of reading. Actual books, not just things like lemmy.
Realize that literally every person you meet is a walking story, just like yourself
Brush your fuckin teeth.
Also: Floss. Seriously. Take care of your damn teeth. They're important.
Mine is modest; but practice being mindful of your emotional reactions.
If something upsets you, interrogate why, and whether your reaction will help. 90% of the time it won’t, so learn to appreciate that you are upset, but don’t let it control you. Because if you don’t you’re going to start seeing the world through incredibly negative eyes.
For example, I used to be a nightmare behind the wheel, always getting angry with shitty drivers and red lights. But I began trying to catch those thoughts, and asked myself whether they would stop other drivers being shitty, or whether it would stop me getting caught at red lights. Would I still be angry in ten minutes? The answer is almost always no, so to expend that energy feels like a waste of time to me now.
Sure, I still get pissy, but I don’t sit with it for longer than I need to. You wouldn’t sit in acid, so why sit in anger?
The best raise you can get is by changing jobs. Businesses are not going to be loyal to you, there's no benefit to being loyal to them - add either a customer or employee. Embrace and welcome change.
When you get a pay raise immediately increase your 401k (or equivalent retirement fund) by at least 1%.
Enjoy your 20s, they don't last long but the person you are today is who you will feel like you are in 20 years. Don't rush your life. There's plenty of time to get married and have kids. You and your kids will benefit from you having an extra decade of experience before raising another human.
- Don't be afraid of loneliness; don't be afraid of too many people around; don't be afraid of sharing your life with an SO you think you don't really know. As you age, these phases tend to blunt and blend together, like the seasons. The only thing you really have, in the end, is yourself.
- Adult life is a lot more about compromising than fighting. Don't make other people's life shitty on purpose, neither allow them to make yours shitty.
- Get your regular medical check-outs.
- Leave a place if you positively can't stand it any longer, and start from scratch. It'll be okay.
Listening to other people, especially to women, is a skill. Don't spend silent time in a conversation waiting for your chance to speak or be smart or witty, stay quiet and really process what you're hearing. Imagine yourself in their situation. Accept that what they say is exactly how they feel.
The less time you spend talking, the more your conversational partner will tell you, and the more you will start to understand them, their lives, their goals, and their anxieties.
Knowing and understanding other peoples' experiences will help you not only make better decisions in your own life, but understand why other people act and think the way they do. You'll be less likely to snap-judge or make assumptions about others. And knowing more about your loved ones, co-workers, and neighbours will allow you to help them effectively if they need it.
And travel abroad as much as possible - listen to people from other countries and cultures. The human experience is wildly varied and endlessly fascinating.
Protect your back. Use proper form when lifting heavy weights. I let my back go round while pressing a few hundred pounds on an inverted incline leg press in my 20s, bulged a disk, and ever since my mid 30s it has been my Achilles’ Heel. Goes out without warning. Completely lays me up when it does. Rubbish. Wish I could go back and undo that.
When things are great, even small things like a cup of coffee with a friend or a quiet morning, take a minute to say to yourself, "this is really great." Say it out loud. Years later you will realize those moments are as good as it gets, and if you don't mark them they just disappear. Bad moments stick around in your head regardless, but the good ones need to be memorialized.
I'm 39, but this is mine: do you just feel kinda "blah" all the time, don't enjoy anything including things you used to enjoy, and can't motivate yourself to do anything? That might be depression, and it might also be undiagnosed ADHD. The sooner you learn about that and get help with it, the better you'll feel and the more effective you'll be (and the less you'll let down the people you love).
Try to take the time to care for your mental and emotional health when you need to, then, instead of stewing for years and years. I made the mistake of rolling with it, turned 35, and I'm lucky to still be here at 40.
Still struggling. Wish I'd spoken with someone years ago.
Find a way to love yourself, and to enjoy your own company.
mid 30s guy also learning from most of these comments
Start saving some of your money. Whatever you can but have damned restraint and dont spend it
Learn to clean your butthole and keep it clean
You will get fatter unless you eat less and less for the rest of your life, probably starting around 32
Appreciate what you have. I know you think you are doing that now, but you're probably steamrolling over people and things all day long
If you are doing something awesome, remember it and document it. You'll want to revisit that many times later - see above
Do all the cool physical things you want to do now, like mountain climbing, martial arts, skiing whatever. You can still do all of that at 40 but it's harder to find time and you're much more injury prone.
Have fun, chase your dreams, make sure you always have "fuck you" money for when shit hits the fan, and be kind.
Oh and the sunscreen thing!
- Stay out of debt
- Strength train (5/3/1 three or four days per week)
- Avoid substance abuse
- Only settle down with someone who is a HELL YES. If you're lukewarm about them, it's a no
- Make time to do something creative like music, make it a habit
- Say no if you're not interested in something or someone. Its ok to say no to shit
If you want kids, don’t put it off for too long. I waited till my late 30s because I was never ready. Here’s the thing you will never feel completely ready. As long as your life is basically stable (job, housing, and no serious issues) you will be okay.
Kids are hard but super rewarding. If you have them young then you’ll get to see them as adults in your 40s. By the time my kids are adults I’ll be pushing 60 and hoping that I live long enough to meet a grandchild.
People have successfully (shades of grey here I know) been having kids for a long time. You’ll never feel “ready” but rest assured you’ll figure it out.
Don’t smoke
Don't think you're grown and will only make smart decisions now. I only started making the right decisions yesterday. And I'll say the same thing tomorrow.
It's fairly hard to create one-size-fits-all advice since everyone will be in different parts of their lives in different circumstances.
Less time on the internet and definitely away from the big social media sites does one good. Avoiding the 24/7 news cycle does as well. Instead, read a book for something you want to learn or read fiction for some period of time a day on most days.
Listen to Baz Lurhman's "everyone's free to wear sunscreen". And I mean listen to it. Every single line is true.
54m here, can I join in?
Pay yourself first. You pay rent, you pay a car payment, add paying yourself first. That payment can be as little as $1, but it goes into a savings fund AND IT IS GONE, just like any other payment EVERY MONTH. When the savings fund gets to an amount that it can be rolled into something that makes more interest, do it. But that money is GONE, for all intents and purposes. When do you use it? You will know, when you can pull it out for something that is not an emergency, but rather something that will last the rest of your life. No, cars don't count.
Cars, trucks, etc.... Here is the thing about cars and trucks. THEY ARE A COMPLETE WASTE OF MONEY AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY YOU STAY ENSLAVED TO MAKING PAYMENTS ON EVERYTHING ELSE. But wait Canopyflyer, you say with a roll of your eyes, I HAVE to have a car, because there's no public transit where I live. Dude, I live in the United States, no one takes public transit here, I fucking know. So thanks for dropping anchor there admiral obvious. Buy the most reliable and cheap to run car you can possibly find. That doesn't mean an old shitbox. Buy a car that's a couple of years old that has a reputation for reliability and has already lost that first year's depreciation. I currently drive a 10 year old Camry LE, that I bought with 7k on the odo. Using a car to show how big your cock isn't, is the epitome of stupidity and is disastrous to your future financial health. If you're driving the latest SmallCockMobile with a $1k payment +... You are a complete fucking moron.
CAVEAT ON VEHICLES: If you can have someone else pay for it, then sure, go buy that ego mobile. That includes the company you work for, or if you're in a business where you have to have a certain type of vehicle. I have a great deal of respect for a person that works with their hands and needs a truck to carry their tools.
OK, maybe that's two bits of advice, but both are financial, so I'm sticking with it.
- If you need medical care, get fucking medical care. Seriously. It will get worse if you ignore it, whatever "it" happens to be.
- Following the above, have at least one trusted advocate (partner, family member, friend, doesn't matter) who can explain any chronic issues, typical medications, etc., and who can and will advocate on your behalf with medical professionals in e.g., a hospital setting as and when necessary.
Take care of your health. Any unhealthy habit you develop now is going to be kicking your behind later. Also, hang around people that get the best out of you. Not just party people. Cause when stuff gets tuff your party buddies are going to be nowhere to be found.
Go to the dentist. Get a little exercise. Find a way to reduce calories over the next 20 years, spend as little as possible. Borrow a little money for your car. Stay away from credit cards until you make enough to pay the cards in full every month. Keep track of every skill you learn on the job, using that information to transition into higher-paying jobs. Get a savings account. Spend as little as possible without skimping on food quality. Save 1 months salary and keep that in checking. At the end of each month, transfer everything above the target funds into savings. Save 3 months salary for an emergency fund. Once this financial foundation is established, divide additional funds into two buckets: one gets invested each month, the other is for major purchases and travel.
Enjoy your health and exercise. I thought I was in pain in the 20s and 30s but then it's worse in your 40s. I wish I ate better and exercise more.
When you move things, lift correctly (safety videos are online). I’m only 35, but because of all the moving I did in my 20s, without thought of safety, I have frequent lower back pain and it doesn’t take much to hurt it.
Jerk off every single day. Your prostate will thank you
Do whatever you want.
Edit: Be genuine and honest with people. Be open. You'll meet the best people this way and have better relationships. You'll also discover who you shouldn't waste time with quicker, and you won't waste theirs.
Lift with your legs
Brush your teeth
Eat healthily
Exercise regularly
Wear ear plugs at concerts
Exercise more. Does not apply to all of the 20s, but to quite some.
appreciate what you have now. take your time, you have tmie right now, don't worry about finding your dream situation in live be it work, love, living, whatever just experience life. you're young, you hopefully have some money, so experience it if you can. If you're going to drink, do it now cause when you hit my age hangovers last 2 days and after one or two beers you're pissing up a storm.
Don't complain about a week taking forever and you hope the weekend comes soon because once you hit your 40s all that "time" snowballs together and you'll be begging the days to go by slower. Things start speeding up and people start leaving you and you have no choice but to go along for the ride and hope for the best. You're still in your 20s, cherish the time you have. hold onto it. apprecaite it. Take as many photos as you can, take as many videos as you can and save them. Friends and lovers will come and go but those memories from your 20s will last forever. make it easy to remember them.
Research your professional value and have the courage to go after it if you are not being paid what you are worth.
I worked 17 years for the same company. I was promoted 4 times during those years and received a few extra pay increases along the way, but I was underpaid as soon as I took the first promotion and the gap increased with each additional promotion. I probably walked away from more than $100k in lifetime earnings, plus interest, by sticking with the company.
I should have changed companies at least once and probably twice. You don't have to be on a promotion path to run into this. It could be you were underpaid on day 1, but you needed the job or you didn't have experience. That's fine, but once you have the experience and have proven yourself, find out what the market rate is for your role and ask for it, be ready to show your research. If you don't get it, start applying for other jobs.
Don't be afraid to talk to your peers about salary. If you are making less, you know there is a gap you can go after (just don't name your coworker when you ask for more, do market research and make it impersonal/just business). If you are making more, pass this advice on to your coworker.
If you are being paid fairly for the work you are doing, but know you can do more, start looking into what it takes to make a move. For example, you might be the best fast food or retail worker the world has ever had, but the job only pays so much. What else might you be good at? You could look for training in a trade or try to find an entry level role in a company that has a wider set of tasks available that offers a growth path.
I agree with a lot of the comments here about saving and investing and keeping expenses down, but growing your earnings is typically easier than shrinking your rent. It still isn't easy though, especially if you need to relocate to earn more.
Forgive others and yourself quickly. You're going to make a lot of mistakes and so are the people around you.
Don't let others control your life. If someone is only making you hurt, cut them off clean.
This especially is for blood relations! Only scared old people say that shit about obeying your elders! If your family or immediate "friends" only use or abuse, get out fast!
There's always a place and tribe for you, don't let assholes dictate who you are or "should be".
It took 30 years and most of my physical health to learn that one! Injured spine, nerve damage, financial issues ... All from the group I grew up around being hideously toxic.
I've been free of them for about 5 years now and am finally healing, both physically where I can and mentally. Financially too, just slower.
I now have loving girlfriends, an amazing and healthy daughter, and I've been able to start reconnecting with the people that really clicked with me but were forced away by my family and their friends for being too different from them. I barely got a year and a half with my best friend I'd list touch with before he suddenly was diagnosed with and died from pancreatic cancer.
Don't waste your time on people who drain you with nothing to return! You and the people who improve you don't have the time and energy to spare!
Save money and keep in shape.
Get somekind of workout and stretching routine going on. It's much harder to build the habit later when you've got maybe a family going on and probably more work responsibilities.
Control your sex drive or it will be used to control you, and invariably very much against your own best interests.
I got lucky, and found my own partner quite early on (28 years together, now). But I did not stop observing other couples around me, and those men who failed to adequately control their own sex drive were the ones who almost always were taken advantage of and manipulated against their own best interests.
Ironically, RP (and to an extent, BP) information is a great base to understand how you can and will be manipulated, with MGTOW a good framework to insulate yourself against manipulation. Just understand that blaming others is a toxic and counterproductive path, seek to improve yourself to make RP/BP truths work with you and your best interests, and not against you.
I'm 2 months from 36 so I want to weigh in, behind every great man, is a good partner. Don't waste your youth chasing flings and living it up, find your person, someone who will help you build yourself in a better person every step of the way. Not controlling but supportive, and do the same for them.
ITT 40 yesr olds tell you to put 10% of your non-existent savings on retirement funds. Good sdvice tbh but they failed to account for landlords and shit
Don't get married before you're 25
Around 30 years old your body stops healing, injuries are just things you live with forever now, and old injuries you thought had healed come back as forever pain.. just keep that in mind when doing stupid shit... This includes injuries to your lungs and mind from things like smoking and drugs.
If you want to help people in any way, get rich first. No one will pay you enough to live off of for helping people... Better to bring your own wealth to the table and hopefully be able to help people for real with it.
If you don't already know how, learn to code asap... In 20 years, programming will be one of the few jobs left... Maybe
Be prepared for age-related farsightedness! No changes if my aging body irritated me as much so far. I think mainly because of the abruptness of how that set in. It felt like an almost instant change, people showing me things on their phone and I couldn't read it anymore. Taking pictures of fineprint to zoom in etc.
Look after your back and neck. Floss. Drink more water. Find out if you have family inheritable disease risk and adjust accordingly.
But also, take advantage of some of your best years, and the freedom which comes with not being tied down.
Exfoliate, moisturizer, sunblock
Whatever you’re thinking, don’t.
Start listening to Dr Michael Greger. You'll thank yourself at 40.
When making your worldviews, difficult as it might be, consider listening to the news from original source. Say, for China related stories, look up Chinese publications, translate them to a couple of other languages you know. Ask yourself what each narrator or writer wants you to think and do after listening to their side of the story. This habit will make traveling a better experience in many ways.
Write a journal everyday. Write a meal and snack journal everyday and include any alcohol, drug as well in it. Review them every now and then. Never miss any vaccine. The journals will come in handy for everything from planning weight loss, effectiveness of any diet or exercise, sicknesses, mental health issues, to helping your doctors help you better. Course correction will get simpler and ever easier.
If you ever think of kids, do consider stopping with one. This boiling, frying planet we have made ourselves need not be inflicted on any more than one little one of yours.
Forget one piece!
Put money into your 401k. Learn more about personal finance than video games. Lift heavy things with proper form and put them back down again a lot. Give all people respect and kindness even if they’re being snotty. Brush your god damn teeth.
Compatibility is probably the most important quality to look for in a romantic partner.
Invest in yourself.
Increase your skills, weather it's university, an apprenticeship or on the job training. Your skills compound over time.
And as another poster said, take care of your teeth.
(44) look, listen, you don't have to figure everything out right now. There will come a time in your late twenties and early thirties that you'll feel like you've missed the boat, that you're lagging behind, that it's too late to still start or switch... And then you'll get over it in your late 30s again. Finally realise that life doesn't end and in fact that there is a lot left after 40. And that's when they call it the midlife crisis, it's not a crisis. The crisis is in your late twenties and early thirties.
Meet with a trusted financial advisor and plan your retirement ASAP
Recover
You gotta walk your own path.
Most people know exactly what they have to do to obtain a skill, start a business, make a friend, experience and adventure but simply don’t out of fear of the unknown.
The Internet is helpful but you got to put stock in your own lived experience.
I ain't trying to scare you, but if you live a statistically average life you're about to hit a downward trend in your mood which will last a couple of decades. By the time you're thirty you'll likely have a boss, a spouse and kids, all of whose needs will have to come before yours. Things start to improve again at age 47 when the kids have moved out and you're at the top of your career.
Maintain your friendships. It's so easy to make them a low priority, but having good friends and being a good friend to them is the way to make it through.
