So is the global IT crash fixed yet?

Happy to see my meme is getting extra usage ❤️

there are currently two (?) fixes
- “You memorized your BitLocker key, right?” – physical access to the computer to boot into safe mode, delete a file, and reboot
- “Thoughts and prayers” – let the computer keep rebooting until it manages (somehow) to grab the fix in the lag or delays between reboots

Everyone in my very large company shares the same bitlocker key for some reason. I guess for today is the reason
There's a third one I've heard:

Intel VPro (the thing that privacy people disable because runs at a lower level than the OS and does mysterious stuff), is being used to remove the broken file while the OS is booting/crashed.

It’s ok, it was just Windows machines. Nobody in their right mind would run anything critical on a Windows machine.

👀
Omg.. I hate Microsoft and windows as much as the next guy but for the last time this isn't a windows problem ffs. Read any of the thousands of articles published on the matter and you'll find that this theoretically could just as easily happen to Linux machines if they were managed by Crowdstrike - which is the problem.

This never ending Linux elitism on Lemmy is making me tired, boss
- I don’t know if I could have made it more obvious that what I said was a joke. But also, it was a Windows problem in that it only affected Windows machines, and that was the premise of my joke (which is why I phrased it that way).
- Best part is something similar happened with certain Linux distros a few months back.

It’s really up to the individual organizations to fix. There’s not going to be some global “congrats, we pushed and update and now everything is fine” patch, because the crash is preventing a patch from being loaded. It requires manual intervention on every single affected machine. If it’s a large organization with a lean IT team, that could mean days or weeks until every single machine is actually fixed; They’ll be prioritizing the mission-critical systems, so they’ll triage. Start with the wide reaching systems, then the most important employees. The intern will just have to wait.

Nah.

There are fixes but none yet that aren't a PITA.

I thought they were rolling back the update?
- It doesn’t fix those already affected. And affected machines require manual intervention, because they cannot boot up to receive any sort of automatic patch.
I also wouldn't accept a fix that isn't a pita souvlaki.
- The pita fix only works if you can dig up a CD drive to put it in though. Most people don't have one and are SOL.

At my primary day job, no, they've already announced weekend hours to all employees to resolve issues one by one. I feel for IT/Helpdesk.

At two of my friends day jobs, yes. Everything was fixed by late afternoon.

At another friend's day job, no, and things aren't looking great as their disaster recovery plans, staffing, etc. were not prepared for this. It's sounding like it could extend into next week for them.

For another friend of mine...he got turned away at Starbucks this morning because their computers weren't working. I guess we'll see if he gets turned away tomorrow? Haha.

Yeah we good. The fix was ezpz and even a company with several thousand servers should be up now. End user workstations may take more effort, but it's a 5 min fix per user.

Honestly this was half as stressful as Print Nightmare was, from an IT perspective.

Glad it wasn't too bad for you/y'all.

Unfortunately, I wiped my computer Thursday night before our company mentioned anything. lol. I ended up finding out about the issue on Lemmy/Reddit. My company didn't send anything out until this morning - which I still find insane, my laptop crashed and started looping around 7p (took them like 12 hours).

My laptop just rebooted while I was working so I assumed some program I'd installed caused it (explorerpatcher). I tried everything, safe mode, system restore, uninstall updates. I figured the only option left was to reinstall windows. Done it plenty of times on my personal PC

Oh well, lesson learned. Shit's totally fucked now. It won't even connect to the Internet. lol. Definitely a Monday problem though
- Hold up.... You thought maybe you downloaded malware (which in this case that was not the only cause) so you took it upon yourself to reinstall windows on a company issued laptop?
  
  Why are you trying to fix it? Submit It ticket and it's their problem.
  
  If you suspect malware alert it security immediately. Many malware act as a gateway to lock other systems. Yes you might get in trouble but I'd rather be yelled at for downloading something then yelled at for infecting my company servers will ransomware/malware.
  
  Atleast in my company a computer connecting without a company supplied image of windows will be denied. Completely understand you not connecting to the internet.
  
  This problem was not caused by you but could of been... Take this as a lesson to be more proactive in the future.

I can't help but think most of the servers have been solved. The fix is a pain in the ass but it's not like it's monumentally difficult. Anything that's in a server room with a remote access controller should be pretty straightforward.

Kiosks, workstations, desktops are probably all going to happen in priority order. If somebody needs to run around with a key and unlock a door they're probably just going to replace the storage. And they're probably also waiting on that to happen in contract speed.

Yes it should be fixed. I currently am using the WIFI of JBHUNT who relies on NWA airport and its working fine.. I got a vpn and it kind of seems that other countries are doing good. The last I have seen is that the last holdout is China.

Is this Donald trump speaking????