I started going to board game nights hosted through meetup, and most people there were avid board gamers who brought tons of their own games. Slowly, I learnt new games, which I then purchased so I could play with my own friends.
I was in a situation in the early 00s when money was even tighter than it is now. And I had a good friend that collected games and would get a lot of games. And I would buy fewer games and more rarely, since I was so broke at the time. And I'd bring them and we'd play them and he'd like them and he'd immediately buy the same games. And I'd think "if he was gonna buy a copy anyway, why did I buy one? I could've saved that money."
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To answer your question: have as few games as possible and have a situation or group in mind for every game. "Here's one I can play with my boyfriend, here's one for work lunch, here's one that I think mom likes" and maybe that can be it. If you have friends with games they are probably aching to get those games to the table and if they're happy to play them with you, that's great.
We borrow like 90% of the time. In an overall group of approximately 35 people (and maybe 25 households), we strive for an overlap of about 2-3 copies except on really popular stuff (e.g. Just One) where I think there are 7 copies across the group. When we sell games, we give each other the first option so it doesn't leave the group and if nobody picks it up, then it leaves at a convention or sold on BGG. I think we have one, maybe two copies of Catan or Power Grid in the group, and a lot of games we just have one copy of.
I am a weird case, running a game storey collection is small as I buy games to get filiar with them and end up giving them away to a friend or someone at an event.
I only borrowed Eclipse from a friend to get more familiar with the fiddly rules for when we play again.
Otherwise I rarely if ever keep a game myself if someone else has it
If I want to play it with a different group, one the people who have it are not part of, then I consider buying it.
I've also bought some games that I just had to have because they were just that awesome. And then never played, because other people already have a copy, and sometimes they have more content or whatever. Terraforming Mars, for example, I ended up only playing it a handful of times solo, and then the app came out, and I haven't opened my copy since. I try to avoid doing this now, because it really doesn't work out that well.
Although I am considering buying Brass: Birmingham so I can decide when I want it to be available in a meetup. Also Spirit Island, but that's because I think I can get my kids to play with me.
Funny you should mention TFM. That's exactly one of those I'm considering duplicating but both groups I play with already have it...
Spirit Island I used to own but it turned out it's a bit too heavy and long for my GF so it never got played both my groups had another copy and one of them started getting all the expansions. So ultimately I sold it (to another person in that same group ;-) )
I don't have the space to have anything except a very lean collection of board games much less any other physical object in my life so I default to borrowing whenever possible on all things, and return the thing better than I received it and with a lagniappe for the favor. My friends know this.
We tend not to buy repeated games, with a few notable exceptions. We have duplicates for cheaper or gateway games, for instance. We're not gonna buy two copies of Gloomhaven in our group but it's reasonable for the group to own two copies of Love Letter or Carcassonne.
I mostly buy games that can also be played two players (even if they are not the best at two players) because I know they will get a lot of play. Games that need more people to play I mostly play at board game night meetups, which i go to regularly. If it's a good game with minis or is fun to make other custom stuff for I will most likely buy it too as I love crafting, painting and such.
We are 99% 2p so if I want to play it I pretty much have to buy it.
Naturally I spend a lot of time researching before I buy. Having a good digital implementation (especially on BGA or Yucata) is extremely helpful and it's probably the best way to sell me a game.
In those cases, I buy it if I really, really like it, if there isn't anything similar in my collection, or if I think I can get it played outside the group that there's a copy floating around in. Usually takes a combination of those three factors, as I try to keep a lean collection since I've got friend who seem to own just about everything.
Depends, if it's a friend I play with often I just let them own it. If it's an acquaintance or a friend who doesn't play board games so often I'll usually grab it for myself. Or if it has lots of cool xpacs and they have none lol
For a long time I found myself pretty hesitant to buy games others already have, prefering to borrow. But then I see how among my friend there are a lot of duplicates: We have two copies of Factory Funner, Thunderstone, Spirit Island, Quacks of Quedlinburg and that's just what I can immediately recall.
So I'm thinking of ammending my "policy", but it would only makes sense for games that my GF is definitely up for playing. Three of those four games I mentione are or were at some point my games. Both Spirit Island and Factory Funner do now align with her. One I have since rehomed with one of my gaming friends while the other has sat idly except for when we're in the very specific constellation where the guy who doesn't like it can't attend and the other owner of the other copy can't come either or doesn't want to bring it. :-(
I think one thing that is important to keep in mind on the topic of "when do I break this rule vs borrow" is that I think it matters how much notice you're willing to engage in. Speaking at a purely personal level, if I want to borrow Power Grid, it would be with a couple days notice and I'd either bus over or meet them somewhere for a hand off. Generally, once I want to borrow something, I'm willing to make some effort for it vs just hoping they bring it to a meetup. If I was driving 45min to get to a gaming location though, I'd rethink all of this...