Asklemmy @lemmy.ml dotslashme @infosec.pub 4mo ago

What family sayings did you think was universal?

As I was growing up, my family had a couple of sayings I took for granted were universal, at least within my language. As I became an adult I have learned that these are not universal at all:

the ketchup effect. It is an expression meaning that when things arrive, they all arrive at the same time. Think of an old school glass ketchup bottle. When you hit the bottom of it, first there is nothing, then there is nothing and then the entire content is on your food.
faster than Jesus slid down the mount of olives. Basically a saying that implies that the mount of olives is slippery due to olive oil and Jesus slipped.
What you lack in memory, your legs suffer. An expression meaning that when you are forgetful, you usually need to run back and thus your legs suffer.

Please share your own weird family sayings.

82 comments

A Dutch one I got from my Oma: "It's as if the angels upon my tongue have pissed". It means "yum".
- Alsof er een engeltje over je tong pist.
The last one's very similar to a german saying: "Was man nicht im Kopf hat, muss man in den Beinen haben."

That literally translates to "What you don't have in your head, you have to have in your legs."
- So that's 3 people in this thread that brought this up. What does it mean? Is it intelligence versus athletics or something else?
  
  Means work smarter, not harder.
  
  I think this one means, either you use your intelligence or use your physical strength to do things. Guess it applies to work and tasks in general.
  
  If you don’t think to bring something with you, you have to go back and get it (for example)
- Yeah my family (mostly my grandma) used that one too but in Dutch. Wat je kop vergeet moeten de benen ontgelden.
Funny my grandad had a little rhyme related to your ketchup effect:

"If you do not shake the bottle, none'll come and then a lot'll"

Clearly ketchup bottles have been a bigger influence on culture than we realised
- Shaking the ketchup bottle is a great pro tip. No idea why it works but it does.
  
  Vigorous shaking mixes the thicker areas (where the sauce has settled) and the thinner (more watery) areas so they now have the same viscosity (pouring characteristics). Most importantly, this lets the mass of sauce slide cleanly down the bottle, helping the air bubble to also slide up in one unit at the same time, preventing the “air-lock” blockage at the opening. Important Note: Before vigorously shaking any container, ensure that the cap is truly secured! Now you are in control!
- I really love both ketchup effects here:D
Man the ones I grew up with were far far far more racist than the ones yall had.
To correct someone from saying "so" too much:

"Sew buttons on ice cream"

"Hey" too much:

"Hay is for horses"

"Well" too much:

"Well, well, well - that's three holes in the ground"

Micromanage much?!?!
- "Hay is for horses" is universal. I do agree that these are all dumb though.
  
  My dad used to say "Hay is for horses, I eat oats."
  
  True
- I like the some in conversation says "but hey..."
  
  I quickly interject "Butt hay is for butt horses"
  
  Dad humor.
- “Sew buttons on your underwear” is how I’ve heard it.
- "si" (italian yes) too much:
  
  If you say si too much, you become a sisi.
My mom often used two:

"Useless as tits on a bull" (often referencing her husband, my dad)

And also, "shit fire and save matches", which I never understood to actually have a meaning, it was more like just an exclamation of surprise.
- the former is a common, universal phrase.
  
  "like tits on a bull" as a slightly shorter version.
- to be fair if you could shit fire that you would save a lot of matches.
- shit fire and save matches
  
  If a frog had wings it wouldn't bump it's ass when it jumped.
  
  I've heard these used when someone says something nonsensical, just as a completely worthless reply.
  
  Worst case Ontario!
- My dad used the shit fire expression. I also don't know of an actual meaning.
"watch the ficus" - telling somebody to be more careful after they do something clumsy like tripping or nearly dropping something. I used it in front of some friends once and got confused looks. Apparently grandma used to have a potted ficus tree and used to tell me to watch it when I was playing close to it, so it stuck as a saying in the family.
- haha awesome. So concise, it does sound like a wise saying
"Life's tough. It's even tougher when you're stupid."

-my grandfather quoting a line from a John Wayne movie I think.
- "If you're gonna be stupid, you've gotta be tough," is one I've heard.
  
  Lol well this reminds me of what my Hodor sized buddy's foreman used to say about him, "Thank God he can lift a ton cuz he can't fucking spell it." 🤣
  
  There is even a song for it!
You might already heard this one but I didn't learn until a relatively recent internet meme that its only here in Norway that something being "complete texas" means its completely chaotic and messy.

Also I'm using "what the fir forest" ("hva i granskauen") as a replacement for "what the hell" and I have no idea where I've picked it up.. Nobody else around me do, not even family. Works just as fine though against pain and annoyances.
My mom used to tell my brother's and I to eat vegetables that were longer than they are wide because it's good for growing an ankle duster.
- .... Am... Am I understanding correctly that your mother told you and you brother , regularly, to eat dick shaped vegetables so you could grow a long shlong?
  
  Spot on! I take it your mother didn't off that advice?
  
  That's a smart mom.
My Grandmother used to say "It's better than a kick in the teeth" when deflecting disappointment in an outcome--putting a positive spin on a negative. Being from the UK it seemed universal, but moving to Canada and saying that, people gave me odd looks.

The other one is when somebody is talking nonsense or a bit crazy, they would say "They are out of their tree". For the Welsh the tree symbolizes stability and mental wellness (druids I guess) and if you were stressed or needed to chill their phrase translates to "I need to go back to my trees"
- I'm from the US and "better than a kick in the teeth" and "better than a poke in the eye" are both common around my area. Never heard the tree ones though.
- I've (also Canadian) heard it as "better than a kick in the pants"
- I used to hear 'better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick'
  
  Whatever the fuck that means
  
  My family's was "beats a sharp stick in the eye."
  
  We had better than a poke in the eye with a wet banana.
  
  I always just hear "better than a poke in the eye", not the whole stick thing.
- No one, I think, is in my tree.
  
  I mean, it must be high or low.
DEGUSTIBUSNONESTDISPUTANDUM

not sure I spelled it right, means "regarding personal tastes, there is no dispute"

Also another good one, "moderation in everything, including moderation."
- I think the full phrase is De gustibus non disputandum in contradictorium (declinations might be off somewhere)
- I always say "moderation in everything, including moderation" often as well
- We quoted Oscar Wilde around our house quite a bit. Glad someone else out there was too!
Not really a saying, but when I was a kid I wanted to learn how to whistle so badly. I was told that if I ate pickles it would help me learn faster? I didn't eat any, and I still figured it out eventually.
- Probably because sour would make your lips pucker? I think lemons would be more obvious.
  
  Depends on time and location? I think I saw an actual lemon, not a picture or flavour, in my teens? Whereas a variety of homemade pickles were just there
"Don't yuk somebody else's yum."
- peak late 90s/early 00s internet there.
You better finish your dinner, don't you know there are starving children in Africa?
- Turns out that one was actually universal.
  
  I guess so!
- Were you born in the 1970s? Both me and my wife heard that exact same sentence from our mothers.
  
  that persisted well into the 90s at least
  
  Yup. We also might come from the "step on a crack, break your mother's back" generation?
Not a family saying, but my grandad used this joke soooo often:

Q: What's the difference between a snake in the grass and a goose?

A: A snake in the grass is an asp in the grass, but a grasp in the ass is a goose!

My folks liked to purposefully mix metaphors, so instead of saying "The worm has turned", they'd say, "The shoe has turned" and "The worm is on the other foot".

I'm sure there's an origin somewhere, but since I don't know it, the call-out for doing something particularly dumb was, "Why don't you just ram your face into my fist?" (suggesting your stupidity was impressive, but not worth the actual bother of 'punishing' you for it, especially given you were probably stupid enough to punish yourself).
- Mixed metaphor dad jokes are classic, I really enjoy them.
  
  I guess we gotta burn that bridge when we come to it.
  
  Does the Pope shit in the woods!?!
“Does a hawks arse pucker in a power dive?” When someone asked a question that had an unequivocal answer of yes. Similar to does a bear shit in the woods,
Slickern owlshit
Fritzlehoffers. As a general term for anything you either don't know the name of or cant remember. Hand me the fritzlehoffers next to you please.
My mom used to describe a solution to a problem that worked well as “slicker than snot”

Used that phrase in a work meeting once when I was younger and got the most eclectic mix of reactions ranging from, “ think I’m going to vomit” to full on LOLs.
- I'm stealing that one.
"That's the cock for Dolly!" - Finally got that working.
70's kid my Dad says "wadda want eggs in your milk?" (still to this day)

always said if you "upscale" something.
Me: Dad I need shoes Dad: ok we will get some. Me: how about those Adidas like Run DMC Dad: Wadda want eggs in your milk too

funny thing is as dumb as the saying is. My oldest child used it the other day when a person was trying to merge in front of him
I'm familiar with the last one. Love the "ketchup effect", have to remember that one

82 comments