This reminds me of a movie from the early 90s called Crazy People. An ad exec has a nervous breakdown and ends up in an institution. He accidentally sends off truthful ads that he and the other patients write, they get produced, and they are very successful. It was a pretty funny movie. Some examples of the campaigns
"Metamucil: It helps you go to the toilet. If you don't use it, you'll get cancer and die."
"You may think phone service stinks since deregulation, but don't mess with us, because we're all you've got. In fact, if we fold, you'll have no damn phones. AT&T - we're tired of taking your crap!"
"Paramount Pictures presents 'The Freak.' This movie won't just scare you, it will fuck you up for life."
"Porsche. It's a little too small to get laid IN, but you get laid the minute you get out!"
"Volvos, Yes they are boxy, but they're safe".
Those are oddly compelling.
They're refreshing, really. I'd buy things with slogans like that.
I had completely forgotten about this movie until you mentioned it!
I recall there also being a Sony ad that focused on Japanese stereotypes and how they were shorter and therefore their eyes were closer to the chips they were building, and that made them better than western manufacturers, with some clips of westerners completely failing at their jobs; that one actually made me laugh out loud.
Edit: Found the clip - Sony - Because Caucasians are just too damn tall.
"Jaguar, for men who want hand jobs from beautiful women they hardly know."
Man, Atari really had strange ads
Comcast - You don’t have any other options.
Lego: the same product since the fifties, and that's actually a good thing
Lego: Same great plastic; now with all your favorite Hollywood franchises!
Google: Don't be evil. We'll know if you are.
Google: Ok, yea we are evil. You got us. But now we're "Alphabet" so pretend something's changed.
Alternatively: Oh you like this product? Sucks to be you.
ARMALITE: Mass Murder for the Masses
OpenAI: Neither open nor intelligent.
@kaupas24 Microsoft then: we used to monopolize the market by a shitty behavior (embrace, extend, & extinguish).
Microsoft now: we bribe politicians and have a good PR department to continue with our shitty new behavior (buying companies to fuck them up).
Netflix: we may cancel this series, watch it at your own risk
Nike
Just let poor Asian underage and underpaid workers do it
McDonald's
I'm lovin' the wild deforestation of the Amazon rainforest that comes with it
Apple
Think different but still buy our piece of shit overpriced products so you won't feel excluded from the flock of moronic sheep you crave attention from
[edit: more came to my mind]
Amazon should be "You want shit fast more than you want us to pay a living wage."
Apple: You'll buy it anyway.
Reddit: The Front Page of the Internet (maintained by suckers for free)
Nvidia: "Fuck you, pay me."
Target - Youll pay more to avoid Walmart.
@kaupas24 BMW now our cars have DLCs and subscriptions.
Let's add gamemification to the road!!!Nestle: doesn't your tap water taste better in our plastic, anyway?
Nintendo: you're gonna buy our game at full price on our console and you're gonna like it.
Niantic: thanks for your data, now give us $5 for this 2 cents worth of content.
Adidas - Because our founder's full name sounds inappropriate
KFC: It tastes like chicken
Shein, Clothes by kids for kids.
Nissan- yeah, our cars are cheap-ish, and we finance ANYONE, but that’s so we can butt-fuck you on parts when our cars inevitably break, repeatedly.
Reddit: If we wanted your opinion, we'd beat it out of you.
“And if you give your opinion, we will call it blackmail”
Obligatory fuck spez.
Sysco would just drop any pretense of branding and rename themselves as "Famine, the third horseman of the Apocalypse" and nothing would change about their business supplying all of the fast food in North America basically.
Any company naming themselves after the four horseman would probably see an uptick in business
Applebee's: When you want a skillet meal, but can't be bothered to heat it yourself
Why microwave food myself when I can go to Applebee's for (triple) microwaved food?
