[Silly Thought Exercise] What over-the-top absurd person would you choose to replace Biden who you think could actually body Trump, and why?
[Silly Thought Exercise] What over-the-top absurd person would you choose to replace Biden who you think could actually body Trump, and why?
EDIT: Thanks so much everyone. Great answers. This has been fun. Keep it going as long as you want!
DISCLAIMER: Silly Thought Exercise: NOT AN ENDORSEMENT OF REPLACING BIDEN. I personally do not think replacing Biden is a good idea at this stage in the election. I think that's more dangerous than keeping him, sadly, but he's who we've got. I'm just looking for shitposty thoughts on this question, please and thank you.
What-over-the-top absurd person would you choose to replace Biden who you think could actually body Trump, and why?
For an example, my choice would be based on the idea that the only thing that makes a bully like Trump wilt is a bigger bully. Secondly, US citizens love trash talking and sports and absolutely will vote for someone who is already famous, they certainly love their celebrities. Finally, what better sport for trash talk than basketball?
In that, my choice would be basketball legend Larry Bird. (he's famously apolitical, so it's hard to know if he would actually be politically aligned against Trump.)
...but, the thing is, Larry Bird is a masterclass trash talker.
And that is really what throws Trump off and throws him into obscene tantrums where his composure is lost and he comes off like a whining loser: when he's been taken down a peg by someone else. Nothing sticks deeper in his craw. I don't think he could handle Larry Bird's level of shit-talk, Bird is like god-tier.
I can imagine Bird calling Trump out and saying he can smell his shit-filled diaper from across the auditorium, obviously Bird would describe more colorfully than I. The thing is, I can also see that absolutely throwing Trump into hysterics.
Also, at 67 Bird's a fucking spring chicken compared to Biden or Trump.
So, I'm hoping for answers that are a bit silly, like this. Larry Bird is obviously not actually a good choice for this. I just like chuckling at the idea, because real life has gotten so absurd I need to hide in even deeper absurdity.
What's your absurd Biden replacement? Please, I think we could use some laughs.
I think Weird Al Yankovic would be the perfect opponent. The absurdity of a political debate where Trump spouts absolute nonsense in a perfectly serious manor while Al lays serious facts in the most nonsensical form would be the show of the century and weird Al has better qualifications for the job by trumps standards having maintained cultural relevancy and financial stability for 4 decades. Plus he's jest super likeable.
Sacha Baron Cohen.
The appeal of Trump's rhetoric and populist message is entirely subconscious, and doesn't stand up to even a few moments of critical analysis. Baron Cohen has a genius-level understanding of how to get into people's heads, and what's more, he can do it fluently, on-the-fly. His U.S. presidential candidate character would totally dismantle MAGA.
Vermin Supreme, because every American deserves a pony
I found a guy on linkedin that has the same name, just slot him in and pretend nothing happened, wouldn't even have to change any of the campaign marketing. Dude looks to be in his 20s and manages a coffee place, definitely more than qualified.
Robert Evans – writer, comedian, conflict journalist, podcaster – Cracked, Bellingcat, Behind the Bastards, did a podcast from Rojava, and reported live from Portland’s George Floyd protests
I was actually thinking about something similar today. We've already had an actor as president, then with Trump, we had a reality-TV star. Social media is the new "TV" for the younger generation, so it's only a matter of time before we have an influencer or a YouTube creator as a candidate, right? Let's see MrBeast go toe-to-toe with Trump.
a masterclass trash talker. And that is really what throws Trump off and throws him into obscene tantrums where his composure is lost and he comes off like a whining loser: when he’s been taken down a peg by someone else. Nothing sticks deeper in his craw.
That's an interesting point, I was actually kind of annoyed that Biden was insulting Trump as I saw it as stooping to his level, but your comment on that does make it seem like a valid strategy.
I don't think he could win, but for a laugh I'd love to see Hunter Biden replace Joe lol convicted felon vs convicted felon!
Go all in on milking generational divide and do like a Taylor Swift / Kendrick Lamar ticket. I definitely think either of them could do a better job at being president than our current batch of options.
The Rock. If you're going to sink your ship at least do it with style.
John Browns Body.
I think we would be better off with any rotting corpse over Trump, but old John at least fought for something good once
By the standards of the American people, the candidate should be one of those blow up car dealership streamer guys and a Bluetooth speaker playing audio of hero monologues from 80's "step dad bait" action movies.
The presidency is not one person, it's an entire administration and general philosophy. We're fed a lie that these debates always matter, they matter when candidates are unknown and then have a forum to stand out as leaders and educate voters about a vision for the country. That's NOT the case here, the candidates are wholly known entities and these fucking debates absolutely do not matter.
The people in this country, in their immediate reaction to this debate, demonstrate that they just fundamentally lack the focus, empathv and frankly basic intelligence to process the substance of this or any debate. On average, we respond solely to voice pitch, tonality, body language and facial expressions, like a still developing toddler... Or a dog.
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. We get the absurdity of a puppet and the entertainment of a puppet throwing insults at Trump.
Jesse "the Body" Ventura. Let's go full Senior Citizens Wrestling League with this.
Phoenix Wright seems like a good fit. A superb lawyer that went to countless court and win, debate is part of his job and Trump would be continually shut off.
Whatever happened to Whiplash? You know, that spider monkey that would dress up as a cowboy and ride around on a border collie at rodeos and in a few Taco John's commercials. Put him in there. The border collie can be his running mate... (get it? get it?)
It's Vermin Supreme's moment
Frank fucking Zappa.... were he not dead. Even dead he's a better choice.
Heh, I like your answer. Staying on theme, I'd go with rookie Duncan era Popovich.
Idk why but Kelly Clarkson.
