For anyone reading this.
From personal experience, have a shower daily, go for a walk, even if it's only to the end of your garden or street and drink plenty of water. Sleep if you need to.
This won't fix things, but it will give you an opportunity to give yourself a break.
In my experience, beating yourself up about everything you suck at is the single biggest thing that made it worse for me.
Finally, talk to someone, anyone. In the street, at the bus, at work, friends, family, online, anyone.
This too will pass.
Yes.
That's the list of things I know I should be doing but can't.I have been there.
It's not a fun place.
In my experience the thing that gets everything else going is going for a walk. Start small. Walk to your front door and open it. Next time do it again. Perhaps take a step outside. Do it again. Then two steps, closing the door behind you - bring your keys!
The idea is to do something slightly bigger than before, but not so much that you are exhausted or afraid to try again.
The only one who is going to change anything is you, harness your energy and have a crack. Nobody is watching so no need to be ashamed.
Have at it.
Then don't do all of it. I like to break my to-do list down to the smallest, actionable step? Usually it's just a shower, but it helps me hate myself less.
I wished i had a garden
There is a book called “Tiny Habits” by BJ Fogg. He invented most of the techniques companies like Meta use to manipulate you and me.
In the book, he explains how to use the same techniques to control your own behavior.
I personally am in much better physical and mental state since I read it.
You cannot beat yourself up until you improve. It does not work. It is a myth.
Here is a large language model generated summary:
"Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything" by BJ Fogg explores how small behavioral changes can lead to significant transformations in one's life. Fogg, a behavior scientist, introduces a method for creating lasting habits by making them tiny and easy to accomplish.
Key Points:
-
Behavior Model:
- B = MAP: Behavior (B) happens when Motivation (M), Ability (A), and a Prompt (P) converge at the same moment. To change behavior, adjust these three elements.
-
Tiny Habit Recipe:
- Identify a tiny behavior you want to incorporate into your routine.
- Attach this new behavior to an existing routine (Anchor).
- Celebrate immediately after doing the behavior to create positive reinforcement.
-
Focus on Small Changes:
- Instead of making drastic changes, Fogg advocates for starting with tiny, manageable actions. Over time, these small actions accumulate and lead to significant changes.
-
Celebration:
- A crucial part of the Tiny Habits method is celebrating your success, no matter how small. This positive reinforcement encourages repetition and helps solidify the new habit.
-
Ability and Simplicity:
- Simplifying the desired behavior increases the likelihood of success. If something feels too difficult, break it down into even smaller steps.
-
Motivation:
- While motivation can fluctuate, designing tiny habits that fit easily into your routine helps ensure consistency, regardless of your motivation levels.
-
Behavior Design:
- Fogg provides a systematic approach to designing behaviors that stick, emphasizing experimentation and iteration to find what works best for the individual.
By focusing on tiny, achievable changes and celebrating small wins, Fogg's method aims to make habit formation easier and more sustainable.
-
Is the book and its methods intended for neurodivergent people? If not, it is important to be aware that it may have limited use to people with ADHD as our dopamine signaling in the executive function parts of our prefrontal cortex is all kinds of fucked.
That said, I'm ecstatic to read that you found it helpful and really appreciate your correct characterization of one of the maladaptive coping mechanisms that we often try to use.
I can't focus enough to read a book and of I try hard enough I fall asleep after page two. Guess it's not for me.
Great! You just found your way to fall asleep instantly! Use it to get some more sleep in general :p
I've heard of atomic habits before. Is this different?
I hope so. I read atomic habits and it fed into my delusions of grandeur but nothing stuck. I don't think it was written for us
You mean like having movers coming in a few weeks but not getting off my ass for the past five days to start putting my life into boxes to move halfway across the country? Cuz it feels like you might be referring to my having movers coming in a few weeks but me not getting off my ass for the past five days to start putting my life into boxes to move halfway across the country.
Don't worry, you'll knock it all out in a single day literally hours before they arrive.
Lol I didn't last time and had to hire a second set of movers. And those second motherfuckers stole my cell phone.
hi i just moved today it sucks and you'll probably do a lot of things last minute but YOU GOT THIS HOMIE
Had about a month of this but this week the switch has flipped and I’m trying to complete a months worth of stuff in a day.
This will of course end in tears and frustration and the cycle will begin again.
absolutely me this week … month
The last like 3 years for me
Right? It's like COVID laid bare all the injustices and bullshit of our society and social structures and all but destroyed any motivation to accomplish anything that I had. Things just seemed pointless cause the old myths are fucking lies and I'm tired of killing myself for others during the prime years of my life.
What do you do when your apathy is due, in part, to the world being a cesspool where a few have the most? It really sucks.
Darn. I'm reading this on the day that I stayed home instead of heading to the gym. I should try to go tomorrow instead of skipping entirely through.
The hardest weight to lift at the gym is the one you bring with you.
You "will try" tomorrow.
Take the word "should" out of your vocabulary for the most part, especially with self-talk. It's often not useful.
Posture. I know my posture is bad and remind myself to straighten up…ten seconds later I’m slouched on an elbow.
Hey.
You know what?
The only use those types of thoughts have in anyone's life, is to remind you of something you value completing.
Thats it. Once you've had the thought, let the next thought follow just be - Yup.
Maybe you do it, maybe not. But putting that pressure on yourself isn't serving the purpose of doing that thing, in fact, it almost always does the opposite.
So yes, Ideally, we'd have no motivation other than feeling the need to do a thing simply because its what need to do.
But its not like that, for anyone. Stop being so expectant of yourself, and instead just expect that kind of thought to come up, and then wave at it, and let it pass on by.
Does that only happens to people with ADHD? Because the post is literally me and I've never asked to a doctor about this.
A lot of symptoms of ADHD happen to the general population as well, but in people with ADHD they may happen at such frequency and/or intensity that they become debilitating in the current system.
For the last 2 months I started to consider about going to a doctor because I cannot know if my inability to keep doing tasks or focus on them is because of the enviroment at my home is being harmful to my mind health or if I could have ADHD or similar. Maybe it's the moment to do it, but it doesn't feel confortable for me to ask a doctor.
Those are also symptoms of depression. Either way, If you regularly feel that way, try to talk to a doctor or support groups to try to get help.
What the others said, if possible, go see a doctor. I have depression but I'm subscribed to this channel because it's interesting for me to learn about symptoms and ideas how others deal or cope with them. ADHD and depression share many similarities. ( I will definitively try to learn from the mentioned book tiny habits) I went to a doctor when I felt really really bad. But it was one of the best decisions I have ever made, because I got a treatment and can even go to a therapy. And if you shouldn't suffer from ADHD or depression - even better!
Erryday
Me all the time, but after getting medicated it's a little less overwhelming and I can better calm down about it and slowly chew through the lists of stuff that needs to be done... Slowly... But any progress is better than no progress at all so I'll take it as a massive win.
No I don’t. And when I think of those things they are considered negative. Despite my own thoughts never feeling normal or normative. Despite the fact that I never have a societal norm that keeps me going… I instead find my own norm and keep going… it’s weird I never seek to pull society down I try to move up…
I don’t really agree with this post, but I’m trying to move forward so who knows…
No.
Are this and atomic habits related, or different strategies?
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