I was just thinking.. imagine heaven like they show in movies and shows and stuff where there are people in white clothes up amongst the clouds with harps and stuff. Except imagine the weather is like it actually is at that altitude. Just super windy and really cold.
Anyway just thinking about my grandad. Miss you, pop.
Ooh. Apparently there's a meeting happening right now to decide what they're going to do with the new kid and how they'll manage the outcomes of it for me.
The results will be either: A. I should suck it up and go home B. He should suck it up and stop breaking the rules C. The department should suck it up and move him elsewhere
I didn't really share very much about exactly how it was affecting me here, because it's the sort of thing that I feel like will make me sound entitled and like a snowflake. But his move in and the resulting chaos really did affect me. I think it actually affected me more than when I was at the last place and things were really abusive, because back then I didn't miss stability, because I never had any to begin with. But now I've had a chance to be in a stable and supportive place where I don't need to always have an ear out of my headphones in case shit hits the fan, or barricade my door for safety, or have to sleep light so I don't get woken up by cops shining a light in my face after opening the wrong room. It was really hard to adjust to that again, and I completely lost all will and motivation to do anything, even eat and drink.
I'm fairly happy in this hotel, and things are going well again, but I do wonder if it was a good idea to agree to come here. After all, I will probably just walk back into the same shit show I did after returning from my holiday last time. And I'm not sure I can handle the constant yoyo-ing
Want to be my cat today. Day of napping on the couch, right in front of the heating…..
Bit of a disappointing work today. On Friday I messed up a spreadsheet by simply copying and pasting things wrong. However, I didn't pick up on it until late today, when I had already done a heap of work on it (and spent the whole time wondering why it was throwing so many errors). I really felt like I dropped a notch in my manager's eyes, as I had to bring them in to work with me to fix the sheet, not to mention other people who I showed the report to who picked up on the same thing. Ever since my interview for this role, i've been approached by people in different departments saying 'they've heard a lot of good things about me' - apparently someone on the panel has spread word that I'm some fantastic contributor to the role, and now I feel like that reputation has been tarnished because I couldn't figure out a very simple mistake. Sigh. Wish I could just undo the last few days.
Thanks for all the lovely wishes you guys 🥲 I had a long day at work which isn't how I usually like to spend it - but it was a really good day nevertheless; I got a free bun quietly added to my bag at the bakery on my walk to work, my colleagues utterly spoiled me with gifts, had a few wins, and I treated myself to Inside Out 2 which was awesome (if a little pat near the end). So many emotions thinking about how it's been so hard to accept parts of myself. It's just the film I needed to feel more accepting about where I'm at and less torn up about where my sense of self and core values went...
It turns out it was option D - the option I never mentioned.
They're going to move him out, but not yet. They said he currently has a 2 week transition to the next place, but that still needs to be officially confirmed. Apparently it won't be longer.
In the meantime it looks like I'll be staying in this hotel. Although I did ask if I may be able to move to one with a washing machine because I don't want to have to handwash things.
Apparently they also told the other kid a number of my concerns I'd expressed in my email (but hadn't actually told him) and he got angry and started threatening me. So that'd probably be why I'm staying here until he leaves. Before this we were on more of a neutral footing, now he has an active dislike for me. So that's nice I guess
Good morning friendship pals! The sun is shining(somewhere), the birds are chirping(but not so much), and HOPEFULLY my delivery is coming today. "Transferred at Sunshine West" yeah you BETTER BE.
I had a dream where robots invaded the earth so that was cool and I fully support then in their hobbies.
Moobeans has had more painkiller/antinausea shots and has started eating a little more! Cracking open a tin of Fancy Feast also helped. Vets say it's like feeding them McDonalds but if it gets her eating and taking her regular medication that's fine.
Medical procedures, disability, disordered eating
I'm so beyond angry that a rare undiagnosed medical condition has left me enduring severe pain, nausea, difficulty in eating, and bowel dysfunction for almost 20 years. I haven't had it confirmed yet for sure, tests will have to be done, but possibilities have been raised around MALS and/or Nutcracker Syndrome. There's also a strong possibility of gastroparesis. All of these are strongly correlated with the rare genetic disability I was born with.
I'm still going to be appreciating food posts and sharing recipes. I'm not going to let it take that from me too.
But I'm now facing the possibility of needing a temporary nasojejunal feeding tube (a nasal tube that bypasses a broken stomach and goes straight to the small intestine) to support my nutrition. Despite my efforts to keep eating I've deteriorated that badly now. Apparently a lot of people with my physical disability do end up requiring feeding tubes and none of the specialists I sought out fucking bothered to tell me. Nope, it must be psychosomatic!
And worse than that, while I'm willing and know what assistance to ask for... if I can't arrange it another way I still may end up having to repeatedly attend the ER to try and get some action on that. Which will mean repeatedly boarding my cat and waiting in a hospital for up to 12 hours only to potentially be told there's nothing they can do. For as many times as it takes. (I've already done this twice to access a referral to gastro specialists in a different hospital, since the ones I had were actively unhelpful and don't do the procedure I was asking for. Edit: I’m on the waiting list for the new ones. There’s also a nutritionist which might help me find a pathway.)
And then there's refeeding syndrome to face.
No pity please, I'm just incensed and having a rant.
I had a super vivid dream that I was really really high and tripping out. High in both senses because I was laying on the roof of a tall apartment building and it seemed to be bending over to tip me off. I felt the actual fear and that feeling you get of when you're about to fall off something but had to keep trying to tell myself it was in my head but it wasn't working. I was holding on for my life!
I decided due to my current cough/sniffle combination to call in sick for tomorrow. Risotto will be cooked in a few minutes and I plan to waste the rest of the evening watching videos before going to bed happily knowing I can sleep in as long as I want to. It would be a lot more relaxing plan if I didn't keep sneezing. Mr Woof is not a fan of sneezes and has already evacuated the lounge room.
there's a road closed off near my house. Its well documented, signs everywhere ect. And the amount of people who drive past 6 or 7 signs only to get to the actual closure and go "Oh. shit. I guess I have to U turn" is crazy! The cops should just stand their and just be taking licenses off these folks cause they are showing 0 situational awareness.
It's been a very exciting day today. I have folded laundry, emptied the cat litter bin and sprayed poison liberally around the yard. Now I'm pondering the question of whether to change into a slightly heavier top before walking the dog.
So one of the things I found out while cleaning out the garage was that my old childhood teddy had been left out there - and of course in a spot where it leaked 😖.
A soak and then a run through the washing machine on a gentle cycle didn't shift the dirt, so I tried putting him in another pillowcase and running the normal cycle - which got the dirt out but also half the stuffing.
Any suggestions for repairs? I seem to remember there was a discussion recently about it.Hey there wind-chill factor, it's been a while!
Vape Warehouse, in the middle of the Chemist Warehouse...
Did I dream frozen baby green beans because I can't find them for like forever? I don't need my beans cut for me, thanks. Maybe they were stunted ordinary beans and I got sucked in.
I bought a puck light from Reject shop for the kids to play with. I thought they'd all be the same but apparently 'you get what you pay for applies here too'.
The button is already busted and hard to press, and the magnet can barely hold the weight of the light itself. That's the sort of thing I assumed would be the same everywhere
Following a meal plan as part of a fitness challenge. Spent three hours meal prepping today for the next few days. It's a bit of a headache having to figure out when to cook what, but I really got into a flow state.
Not sure what I'm going to do when uni goes back, but maybe I'll just spend all day on a Sunday cooking and freeze stuff.
Cooking is actually fun (even though I stupidly put garlic in a mega hot pan and it kinda burnt straight away)
