Sometimes songs don't have deep stories, are nonsense, or are just straight forward.
My head cannon (that is not true at all) is that "Cupid Stranglehold" and "According to You" involve the same people.
"According to you
I'm stupid, I'm useless
I can't do anything right
According to you
I'm difficult, hard to please
Forever changing my mind
I'm a mess in a dress
Can't show up on time
Even if it would save my life
According to you, according to you"
So in my head the above verse is about the guy in the below verse.
"Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got (ba ba da da)
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)"
Then this below verse:
"But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
According to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
So baby, tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you"
Is about this guy:
"
It's been awhile since we talked last and I'm tryin' hard not to talk fast
But dad I'm finally thinkin' I may have found the one
Type of girl that will make you way proud of your son
And I know you heard the last song about the girls that didn't last long
But I promise this is on a whole new plane
I can tell by the way she says my name (ba ba da da)
I love it when she calls my phone
She even got her very own ringtone
If that ain't love then I don't know what love is (ba ba da da)
It's gonna be a long drive home but I know as soon as I arrive home
And I open the door take off my coat and throw my bag on the floor
She'll be back into my arms once more for sure
"
Are these songs at all related? No of course not. Was any real thought put into Cupid Chokehold? No, not at all. They made it one day when they were bored and the "not much of a girl friend" part is just sampled for the beat.
But in my head, the "According to him" guy, just can't help but gush about how lucky he is to his parents.
Yes absolutely. Kate Bush's "Running Up That Hill" is from the perspective of a girl trying to talk her boyfriend into pegging.
"It doesn't hurt me (yeah, yeah, yo)
Do you wanna feel how it feels? (Yeah, yeah, yo)
Do you wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me? (Yeah, yeah, yo)
Do you wanna hear about the deal that I'm making? (Yeah, yeah, yo)
You
It's you and me
And if I only could
I'd make a deal with God
And I'd get Him to swap our places"
Before anyone asks, I know that barely makes any sense, and that the rest of the lyrics don't fit with this interpretation AT ALL, but that's why it's a headcannon 😅
When I first heard AC/DC’s “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” as a kid, I thought they were singing, “Dirty Deeds and The Thunder Chief” and assumed it was the street names of a pair of Native American hit men. I didn’t learn the actual lyrics until a decade or so later, but I choose to continue hearing it the other way.
The song "Letter from an Occupant" by the New Pornographers seems to be intentionally hard to parse, to the point that late in the song they sing "That tune you'll be humming forever / all the words are replaced and wrong". But yeah, anyway, I could've sworn the refrain starts with "For the love of a Congressman..." and that's how I always sing along with it.
(jokingly:) "Titanium" by David Guetta is about the A-10 Warthog
The aircraft protects the pilot with titanium armor, features a large machine gun, (technically a rotary cannon) and includes many redundant systems that allow it to keep flying even after suffering significant damage.
These things fit with the song lyrics surprisingly well.