It has been 4 weeks since we had to help our little dog sleep for the last time. We had 18 extra healthy and happy months with him because of chemotherapy.. when we were told to expect a couple of weeks if we didn't get chemo. It comes and goes in waves but I miss his tiny little furry body and his chatter. We made those 18 months count, he even went on a 2 week roadtrip adventure with us when we drove to WA
Image: A smiling Pomeranian pleased with his new haircut.
Thankyou all for your responses yesterday, they were too many and varied in nature to respond to individually in the detail I would have liked to give, but thankyou for taking the time and for your support.
I arrived home last night to be greeted by a very humbled, remorseful and apologetic Mr Peeler. The fine gave him a big shock, and when I saw it I could see why. A good mate of his had ripped into him about it before I got home, saying 2 kmph more and he would have lost his licence and gotten an $800 fine.. and then I probably would have pretty understandable grounds for a separation.
He has been seeing a psychologist about his depression & anxiety, which he was considering discontinuing due to the emotions it was dredging up. It was on the way home from one of these sessions that the speeding occurred. At my insistence he will continue the therapy and discuss what has happened and talk more productively about strategies to manage those feelings, but take time out after the session and sit in the park or take a walk before he gets behind the wheel, take time to decompress.
Today he will arrange for installments to be taken out of his fortnightly money, and I made it clear that, given all the other support ihave already given I am drawing the line very firmly on this one.
I also made it clear how disgusted I was about the drink before picking up the kids, and he knew given the circumstances there was no point arguing. The friend he visited is a flagrant alcoholic with a death wish, and he can visit that person after he's dropped the kids at home or on the weekend, but absolutely not during the day. He also needs to discuss this with the therapist. Visiting this guy is like a trap, everyone ends up drinking there. It's why I don't visit him anymore either, and I used to count him as a friend.
Finally, I asked if he felt I was being unreasonable in any of this, and he said no. I then told him that, given he agreed its fair and reasonable, if any of these things are not done, then I will end the relationship. Let's see how it goes.
Oh by the way I did my exercises, day 26 and I think 9 or 10 of tummy, I lost track. And I'm still off the grog. Have a lovely day everyone!
Normally we drink Pure Blondes but tonight we thought we'd give Aldi's Natural Blondes a go and it's turned out to be a big big fucking no no. It tastes like it's been filtered through hay. Luckily we have back ups. This is a PSA. Don't make the same mistake guys.
Hugs and sympathies to all those feelin a bit down tonight. Seems like there’s a few that need a Friday night under the covers watching tv. Look after yourselves.
I'm starting to get sick of online communities (present company excluded) - namely how much people are willing to complain about something while continually consuming it. Two recent cases come to mind:
Diablo IV - people were upset with Blizzard that it was online only, and then they were upset about it being so heavily monetised, then they were upset with its recent updates (sending the user score on Metacritic below 5). And yet they STILL continue to play it, constantly. Blizzard won't give a shit about your complaints if people are still consuming it.
and
Reddit - particularly, the new r/Places that has opened up. The complaints in there about how it seems that bots are destroying the very essence of the "game", and that mods are sabotaging anything against u/spez... as if they didn't think this would happen anyway after the last few months. And yet people still continually use the platform.
I'm doing some of tomorrow's cooking today. 12 home made naans and a big apricot layer cake. Tonight's dinner is already done. Sometimes cooking mass quantities is a time and mind saver.
I've got just over 2 full days left before the big move. It's a lot easier to cope with now that I've been to the house a few times, know it's not a shithole and I've met the lead tenant mentor people and know they're alright. I'm still a bit annoyed by the whole being forced to move in before I'm ready thing, but I'm trying not to think about it too much because it's kinda just a waste of energy and emotion
There's 1 other kid there at the moment, and he was meant to move to a different place today, but then the supreme beings of child protection changed the date yesterday, because of course they did. So my move in was pulled a week forward, and his move-out was pushed a week back, but from what I've been told (I haven't been able to meet him), he seems chill and does stuff most of the day, so things should be alright. But if worse comes to worse, he's only there for 4 days after I move in anyway
I'm trying to defend Bluey on r/place but next door someone's turning MY LITTLE PONY into SLIMY LITTLE PENIS which I'm finding funny but also disturbing.
Going to Port Melb in the arvo for this interview, via Southern Cross. Will prolly end up finding a place to have a quick drink afterwards in the cbd looool healthy coping strategies whoo!
The university system to let you connect with other students in not working properly to upload photos for my avatar, so I have had to use the system to draw my own.
This is now me.
Image: A really bad drawing that looks nothing like me.
It is still better than the default avatar it gave me, which looked a bit like Donald Trump.
Edit: I've been saved! I discovered it has an AI art generator.
This is the new me
Image: Dog in a straw hat, doing some gardening in a flower filled garden.
I was just sitting here thinking about what I'll do this weekend. I might go dust off my golf clubs and hit a driving range. I haven't even looked at my golf clubs for... I honestly don't even know how long. Has to be approaching a decade though. There's probably going to be spiders in the bag....
Just got an email from a colleague congratulating me on my Quarterly Awards nomination at work.. HR have put my name as the nominee when I was the one nominated my teammate :(
Now everybody who would have seen the bulletin would think I did something cool. I've sent an email to HR to fix it but nobody is going back to check updates to a bulletin. For absolute fucks sake. I know both of our names start with B (I'm Brad, he's Ben) but that's about whether the similarities end!
Well I think I may have to resign myself to letting my partner just discharge herself though I’m worried about how she’s going to make her way home by herself in such a fragile state
Arguably there are some downsides to having someone who is slightly stubborn and a strong will even if it does seem broken at the moment.
Been trying to convince her not to discharge herself because I think we lose all the aid of home services we organised but it might be for the best.
sigh
For context she’s been stuck in hospital for 3 years or more and she was about to go home but got told she has to stay another week and got her hopes dashed again of going home so she’s been very emotional today after having the high of going home then having it crushed to deal with another medical problem where we’re not I a position to treat it at home due to cost.
Edit: a nurse overheard a phone conversation we had and has organised for my partner to wear a security bracelet so she can’t leave.
Wakey wakey everyone! It's Friday! And even though it's cold, there's only a slight chance of a shower and the wind will be light. So with a bit of luck we won't freeze today.
Its a rare two coffee kind of day but I realise it sometimes is like trying to change gears or pedal response or one of those things that make you zoom faster... but the low fuel light is still on and your oil filter is clogged 🤪
I just need to make it to the servo (weekend) after doing all my deliveries (stupid damn emails) ... Even if I'm limping along at the end. I don't want to think of this shit for the next two days. Still need to work out a way forward with my boss too
Thought I was going to have peaceful day and rest and relax.
Nope. All fell to pieces when my partner was given news of not a great sort.
Have run out of money and wasting on my tax return to come in, which would have been here if work didn’t screw it up.
Can’t pay for the injections she needs and now have to cop an emotional beating from her because the universe hates her and will everything it can to fuck up her life.
Edit: my tax return will come within 3 business days from yesterday from a text message from the ATO
Marketplace sale finalised, paid for and in the mail. I really love technology and how much easier it makes these things. Having started off in the days of the Trading Post where everything was slow and difficult I am constantly impressed by how things work now. Being able to take photos of an item, share them with an offer to sell (for free, with no word limit!) and have the item sold, paid for and posted the next day is an amazing advancement. Being able to print a postage paid label at home (from the money the buyer gave me) and provide a tracking number for the buyer to get updates, with services linking together pretty seamlessly, is just icing on the cake.
I am doing a terrible job of studying today. It is nice and sunny outside, so I think that I'll go and do some weeding. That will obviously help me get in the right mindset to study and is in no way another avoidance tactic.
Got some old school dysphoria back last night. Lets just say I used to think I must be an alien. Cried like shit. I was around 21 then. It's still affirming to know I've always been like this, but sometimes it bashes into my brain in unexpected ways. Today feel amazing though, walked 10ks and realised my boobs have got a nice boob shape. 143 days hrt, I kinda hope they don't grow too big but most of my family aren't small breasted women. Still, euphoria quickly replaces dysphoria.
suspicious timing on a new R/place. Also suspicious is these new Chinese propaganda ads. "People Flee the AUD" with a the CCP flag over parliament house? Disgusting.
Did my boring but important stuff regarding Medicare claims. Decided I needed a treat after some of the shenanigans of the week so it was a night off cooking and Red Rooster for dinner (our local one isn't too bad and I've been good with eating healthy all week and taking my lunch to work instead of buying something on the way). Mr Peeler sorted installments out for his fine, to be deducted fortnightly. He's been like a quiet little lamb and seems to be coping well without the drink. As long as there are cups of tea to be had.. tea fixes everything. I've always found that if you have a cup of tea as soon as you get home from work you don't get the urge to drink alcohol. I've got so many different types of tea that I'm almost scared to count. Ok, I will.. (goes to kitchen and counts) well shit, I counted 19 different teas. Admittedly there's some duplication; 3 are different types of green tea, 2 are dandes and about 4 of them probably count as herbal supplements, but still.. that's a lot of tea! And I'd still like to get more!
No tax return for me yet, but I have just sold another Marketplace item. Quite a bit of interest, so the price must be in the fair-low range. Which is good, I find it's not worth the hassle involved in trying for the maximum price, I'd rather have an easy sale than a few extra dollars.
Ugh, slept like shit! I kept waking up and then when I was asleep it was that type of sleep where you're dreaming and all but deep down you know you're mildly awake.
My partner is away for the night in Brisbane to see a gig with a friend. A bottle of red wine down and considering getting into the Kava that I purchased when in Fiji….
Plans in place to leave at midday when the factory crew wrap up for the day. Technically supposed to leave at 1.30 but meh. Need it after yesterday's shenanigans.
Oh thank god All Stars ended up with the right winner! I was so disappointed at the choices for the final two (well mostly just with one of the choices).