Anon goes bouldering

Anon encounters another channer in the wild

be me

sitting on the toilet at the bouldering gym

suddenly weird feeling on my feet

look down

oh crap, I accidentally shat my socks

suddenly, an idea

see OPs post for rest of the story

Explain thy how the fuck.
A friend of mine (not me, I swear) once got sudden diarrhoea and shat his pants in public. He "found" a comparatively clean pair of underpants in the locker room, put them on instead and skedaddled. No one ever found out.
- Could have just gone commando...

$10 says that Anon is female.

I wonder if they could invent socks with a toe-print reader and a silent gps alarm... And while we're at it, let's add some exercise tracking stuff for runners. Only $500 and a monthly subscription!

$500, monthly subscription, and your GPS and foot data get sold for advertising purposes
- Consider it an investment if you can also sell the realtime state of your feet via onlyfans. Even better if there’s an amateur podiatry chat for the real freaks.
  
  “The way they’re curling their toes, they gotta be doing something good.”
  
  “Get arch support”
  
  “Sleep chat?”
  
  “Seriously, get arch support”

Underpants Gnomes

But socks are worn under the shoes, not the pants
- Not if your pants are long enough.
  
  Checkmate atheists.

I'm repulsed and afraid.

The “repulsed” bit I totally get. What are they “afraid” of, though? That it’ll happen again?

Are they afraid for humanity in general? There are much worse things out there, pal. Read the news sometime.

It's reasonable to be afraid that someone who stole JUST your socks might be stalking you or something
- Okay, that makes sense. Thanks.
Media is conveniently silent on this sock stealing epidemic

Cubbie? WTF? Every gym I've ever been to had lockers. you can't steal socks if they're behind a padlock (typically).

My bouldering gym has cubbies, basically a closet without doors, that are located facing the climbing area

Why did he take his socks off to go bouldering?

You wear most climbing shoes without socks.
- Huh, i always wore socks and no one told me otherwise. Wack
  
  To be fair i was never doing anything too difficult
I kinda wondered the same, since back when I climbed if I forgot my liner socks I would skip the climbing wall.

But I had janky shoes and I also recall there being climbers who insisted socks were bad and stupid since they inhibited toe movement.
I don't think I ever saw anyone with socks

The same happened to me at the pool when I was 10. I just thought it was weird back then, now I'm disgusted.

I forgot socks once, because I was wearing sandals. I contemplated doing this. I didn't though.

Good thing that didn't happen to me, I would have went through the all the cubbies and took someone else's socks.

Maybe they'll get them back... when whoever took them is done with them.