I prefer that money be used for housing.
People are mad the games are cancelled but how much angrier would people be if he wasted 6-7 billion for 12 days of athletics.
Oh no. The Bad Feels (blood rushing to face, starting to feel congested like you're about to cry) started to happen and I've been left hanging after a conversation. Burying my face in the cat isn't helping. What do. I'd eat a pizza if I had any appetite. Maybe I'll shut off the world and get into a good book like I keep threatening to. My eyes are getting too tired for TV...
Lizzo was amazing again โค๏ธ I struggled with the fact that a lot of the people in my section just did not stand up! It's Lizzo, it's dance music, you gotta stand, dance, and enjoy...so I did. Lol. I did sit more for this one then Mondays concert though. Is this standard for concerts? Because for both Lorde and Harry, we stood the entire time.
It has been a rather lovely day today. Six hours work this morning, plus a bit of online shopping for some new shoes. This afternoon I was actually able to get outside in the sunshine and do some planting and weeding. Mr Woof got three walks, so he's pretty happy, and Miss Meow is currently enjoying some lap time (purring like a little engine). Pork rissoles and tray baked vegetable are on the menu for dinner. Plus I don't have to work tomorrow so don't need to get up at any particular time in the morning. I am judging today a success. ๐
Phone interview scheduled for this morning, soon.
Might go for a walk later in the afternoon.
For now I'll stay seated drinking my coffee
Waiting for another job to tell me they like me
Manifesting my tax return to come through tonight as my ADHD assessment money is officially coming out and I'll have no money until tomorrow night (pay night).
I changed my phone wallpaper, font and icon style last night and it feels like I got a new phone! That scratches that little itch I had. The hardware of my phone is still excellent so there's no need to get a new one.
Bit over ordering Didi or Uber 20 minutes before work and they rock up so I'm late to work. So I'm finally contacting a driving instructor who is good for folks with adhd/anxiety so I can get my P's. I guess now I have to save up for a car.
Fuck. One last bit of paperwork from my old workplace and I'm finally free of it. I'm still undecided as to whether I'll take a bunch of further action against them or not. I have nothing to gain and being vindictive is not in my nature. Justice however is a different matter. I'll seek some psuedo legal advice from one of my best friends who practised law for a long time, he's also been a life coach, mentor and father figure and I've always taken his advice, as it's usually so good.
Walked nearly 10ks yesterday. The body is getting used to it slowly. This sprained wrist is only healing very slowly and may be getting worse again. I bought a better support for it but the new job and constant use of my hands outside it means it's going to be a long haul I think.
Working again today and who knows when for the rest of the week. I'll manage financially for the time being and with any luck won't have to touch my savings. Just going to have live frugally for a while, which is fine. I have almost everything I need, so stopping having a disposable income won't be a big deal. Just have to quit wearing make up and buying expensive skin care products, which is also fine. There's peer pressure from other trans women a lot I find to "pass" meaning people can't know you're trans. It's bullshit pure and simple as far as I'm concerned. I'm happy that for some people that's what they want for themselves, but I've never bought into gender stereotypes and I'm not about to be bullied into starting buying into them. It's also really important to be visible at the moment I think as well. I'm not winning friends by being direct about my response to this, but I'm done with trying to be a people pleaser.
Thanks for reading, journalling here is therapy and its good to be regular with it so I can look back over this time down the track and see what I was doing and feeling and such....
Thereโs nothing wrong with rewatching shows/movies if you really enjoy it. Just starting on a rewatch (lost count) of The Mist (2007)โฆ and no I do not recommend the series that came out in 2017
Small insignificant rant. I browse news.com.au. I'm not going to apologise. I want to know if anyone's died or if anything has been recalled. I don't bother about any of the other shit. Occasionally though something might catch my eye. Which brings me to my next rant.
Macca's. Now I love a cheese burger, filet-o-fish and nuggets like any other little piggy but when times are tough and all you have to offer is your shitty little sauces I have to ask "is that it?". How about bringing back your loose change menu? How about your 24 nuggets for $10? Stop with the crumb throwing. Show as a decent deal.
Still cooked dinner even though I got home late from work and felt super tired. A lazier me would have just gotten take out. Bolognese with garlic bread hit the spot. Iโm now too full to clean the kitchen.
With the whole Hollywood strike going on it got me thinking - there is SO much content that if something weird were to happen whereby no more movies or TV shows were to ever be made, I'd be fine with the sheer amount of content that has been generated up to this day. Like, if some weird, I don't know, space temporal displacement happened whereby Hollywood (or hell, anyone - BBC, Australian TV, etc.) were able to make anything else then there is enough content available for a lifetime regardless.
Obviously in saying that it would mean an entire industry would be out of work permanently... so this hypothetical situation has massive economic pressures as well. But still... this strike could go on for years and I'd still be playing catch up.
I feel like I ask bar guy how his day is quite often but I don't really get the same back. If I start talking about something, he will try to listen though.
Ew just found out my best friend listens to Joe Rogan's motivational stuff. She's a messy person who falls pray to bullshit quite often so I can only imagine she's hanging on every toxic unhelpful word he says.
Ages ago I impulse-purchased the best earbuds you can pretty much get (WF-1000XM4) thinking I could force myself to enjoy them considering so many people like that format of headphone. I've been an over-ear enjoyer for many years and always felt like buds would fall out of my apparently little ear holes. They've been sitting in a drawer pretty much since I bought them but I'm once again trying to use them now that I bought some aftermarket tips which apparently help. Been listening to some folk music while doing the dishes over lunch and it has actually been alright! I still keep fiddling with one of them thinking it feels like it might fall out. Not sure how many others have this weirdness with inner-ear buds.
It is nice not having the weight/heat of the over-ears. I might take these on holiday and see if I can finally get some use out of them.
Meanwhile; kitchen is clean, mixed some chamomile & grapefruit oils into my diffuser and I have a cold drink. I'm ready for this afternoons meetings.
Starting to feel a little more human today, but aside from doing some washing, am forcing myself to continue resting in case I undo all of the good work my resting is doing. Just hoping for some sunshine so I can lie in it for a bit.
So my boss was interviewing people the other day for the other role at our job. And so we had a new person come in today and she's nice, found out she lives near me so she offered to give me a ride to and from work which is great.
But I found out that my boss had to let her go (after like 2 1/2 hours of work). I think it's just because she wasn't understanding quickly what my boss was explaining. Like I don't know the exact ins and outs but yeah. Apparently I set the bar high.
Frustration taken out on yard, we now have a compost bin. w00t w00t, the worms shall feast!
(its twin is still sitting on concrete as a spillover 'cos our green bin is gonna be running hot for a while...really feeling the pain of moving to a council that hasn't done weekly green waste pickup yet)
A bit of a chilly start to the day. 3.4 degrees outside, but at last it is not wet or windy, so with a jacket on the dog walk wasn't too painful. Looking forward to some sun later. ๐
Dinner was V2 vegan "meat" in a muffin with mayo tomato sauce and a bit of uncooked mushroom. There are three left. I stopped eating cheese, drinking beer and having normal breaded stuff since I wanted to lose weight.
I have such a weird relationship with food since nearly everything I ate at the last place was either the reduced whatever from woolies or veges I grew myself and made into stew. Can't be bothered with spending an hour prepping for just me.
I live vicariously through all of your lovely food pics and kinda drool sometimes.
Onto more 60s/70s music. Serge Gainsbourg is one of those artists I know I've heard somewhere and his influence is so pervasive across so many genres that it's basically a base flavour. But I never followed him up until now (yeah I know it's like not knowing the Beatles or something).
I couldn't believe Bonnie And Clyde - that smart backing loop with the whoop sounds like something out of the 2000s not the 1960s. And listening to Histoire de Melody Nelson is like going "oh THAT'S where all the trip hop and.... oh... oh wow it all started from here".
But my god I'm glad I don't understand the French lyrics. Between the awful treatment of women in his life, not crediting other artists (especially African sources) and the frankly vomit inducing hebephilia he's definitely one of those artists I wonder how to separate the artist from the work.
Poor boyo has a major Sad. The cat he left with the ex has died. Major flailing because he loved her muchly but hasnโt been involved in more than passing for a decade. ๐ฟ
You're going crazy, the hitmen always find you
Do that dance, smokin' in the girls' room
Kissin' friends, keep a-rockin' and a-rollin' 'Cause the dead just love to rock and roll
My past hardwork and painful toil,
For me to sit here like a gargoyle
Perched upon my gaming throne,
Though in my hands is my phone.
With speakers hooked up to my PC,
Playing music quite easily,
I'm gazing down into my palm,
At another way to keep me calm.
I like to play mobile games,
I don't pay 'cause that's quite lame.
Am I still a real true gamer?
I once questioned it
Because of my vagina...
But decided that it didn't matter,
Because I didn't use it to game with.
But now I wonder,
My bits weren't the problem
But perhaps it's this mobile platform.
...
I decide I don't care, I like Match 3,
What's the trouble?
I'll perch here if I want, and keep playing Pokemon Shuffle!
Finally onto A Storm of Swords in the ASOIAF! I forgot how much of a slog A Clash of Kings was, like it's in no way a bad book but (at least for me) it feels like the story is sort of simmering, apart from a few characters everyone's just sort of on their way to something more interesting.
Also forgot how much I didn't really care for Bran's chapters. I find Jojen, Meera, and Greywater Watch way more interesting.