I think this as well. People in on-line video games are so quick to flame, troll, and ruin a game. But Ask them if they think it reflects poorly on them and they'll either get defensive, victim-blame, or say they were just joking. They complain about having bad community scores in these games, and blame literally everyone else before they can admit any semblance of culpability. Saw it in DOTA 2, saw it in Smite, and every other online forum.
However, we all lose our cool sometimes. I am usually the chillest dude on the server, but if I've had 3 games in a row of being flamed, trolled, having teammates quit, and on that fourth game some teammate "woohoo's" my death? I'm already so steamed from the previous games that I'll unleash a nasty comment right back, even if the dude accidentally hit the wrong emoticon thing. And if they are legit trolling, and I'm fed up? yeah, that's definitely a nasty message right back at'em.
I guess I'm trying to say, we all lose our cool on-line once in a while, just like we all lose our cool in real life once in a while. Those once-in-a-while situations don't define us, as long as most-of-the-time we're chill. But if you're edging towards losing your cool most-of-the-time, with your chill moments only once-in-a-while? then yeah, man. you're the a-hole.
The only difference is that if you do it online and not in real life, you're a coward, two-faced, or both.
The true test of a person's character is what he they do when no one is watching.
with no apologies to john wooden
There is no division between who you pretend to be and who you are.
This is quite the nice message in view of imposter syndrome too. If you're being a kind person online then you are simply a kind person.
absolute lie!
I am funny when I'm online.
I mean, kinda but not really. Death threats? Yeah, you're a definite asshole. Same with slurs.
But, like, we've all been assholes in real life. And I've certainly been an asshole online, whether it be trolling, saying ez, or "gg...but not you teammate" in rocket league, being an instigator, etc. I'm less likely to troll and be an instigator in real life, and I rarely am. But definitely have been.
I dunno. I don't consider myself an asshole, especially for being an instigator in RL. Even though I have been, and probably will be again, both online and in the real world. It's kinda high-and-mighty to just label people perpetual assholes based on if they're being an asshole online, or if they were an asshole on one occasion.
Like it would be pretty stupid if I thought the OP has a persistent holier-than-thou attitude both on-and-offline based on this one post.
Now that I'm thinking about it, kind of an asshole thing to accuse someone of -- being holier-than-thou. Guess I'm an asshole. lol
It's pretty bizarre to see how many people agree with this take though. Every single one of us has said something online we probably wouldn't say to someone's face because we all understand that a shitty comment online does not hold the same weight as one offline does. Everything on here is impersonal, offhanded, out of pocket comments with strangers you'll probably never even check the reply to. The interaction lasts as long as your attention span for it does.
It's quite literally nothing alike. Walking up to a stranger, singling them out, then saying some fucked up shit has several immediate consequences you're never exposed to online. Their facial reaction, their tone, their body language, signs we would read and associate as honest hurt we've caused which to any non-psychopath would in turn make us feel hurt for our words our actions. All shit I don't experience when I tell some dickhead to suck shit through a straw.
Humans are social creatures (no shit) and the internet is not yet advanced enough to convey every aspect we've evolved and developed to communicate properly offline.
I've asked myself in the past, if someone found my account, would they be shocked to read what I posted? I want the answer to be no. I wouldn't want someone IRL to see my account activity and be shocked by what an asshole/troll I am on the internet. I hope that the person I am on the internet is at least as kind as I perceive myself IRL, if not kinder.
I think this is due to the person’s definition of asshole being someone who sends death threats
The term code-switching comes to mind, but it's not a perfect fit. The linguistic term talks about it more as something that people will do when they aren't able to express an idea in a specific language or dialect. The other time I here it is when talking about racial inequality, and code-switching in that context includes how one dresses, talks, behaves, etc.
In the same fashion that folks can be normal in social settings but shitty online, I've often heard that abuse happens in private because abusers only allow themselves to be abusive in private. This sounds very similar to the concept of code switching, though is almost the opposite of what it usually means. I do not know of a term for it.
Long story short, you are the ultimate decider of how you act, and you are yourself in all contexts. Take responsibility for your behavior in all contexts, because it matters in all contexts.
At the same time, though, I am a determinist who views humans as animals running off the same reward systems as any other animal, and thus equally likely to be 'unconscious' of their problematic behaviors. The seed of self control, the very idea of autonomy and personal responsibility, needs to be planted in many people. That role initially falls upon the parents, then the teachers as well, and then the individual's community. If none of that occurs, then it is no longer any small collection's duty, but the duty of society at large. So punch Nazis - you're doing them a favor.
It sounds to me that you need to live a little more ...
But what if my rape and death threats were just, like a joke? Pft
I think batman was wrong, the joker was right, and realistically it does just take one bad day. Everyone having the capacity for horribleness doesn't really take away from the nobility of people escaping that horribleness, though, or "choosing" not to engage in it. If anything, I would think it'd make that decision more noble.
At the same time, where does that leave the joker? Does it matter whether or not he "chose" to be the joker, or if he was just predisposed to be that way? I dunno, I don't really think so. The core reality remains the same, or else there is no/little coherence to reality, and we live inside of a chaotic hellscape. Which I'm not, you know, fully prepared to deny, but more I think my denialism would probably come from the idea that I need to enforce my own coherence on reality, to simply believe in it regardless of the validity.
Somebody stop me if I sound like I've lost my mind and this is totally off-topic, though.
In other news: the sky is blue.
I'm an asshole.
Death threats though? That's.... Another level.
