Try ordering at a french breakfast joint if you want to learn what true humiliation feels like. Having your French criticized by an unexpectedly persistent native speaker is unforgettable. I ordered coffee not crepes, you pretentious Italian-derivative median fish in the world’s tiniest pond. I see you snickering. Who orders a raspberry coffee? Guillaume, if you’re reading this, I hope you never eat a decent croissant again for the rest of your life.
I was at a Hard Rock Café in Paris (yes I know they're overpriced, but the historic stuff on the walls is pretty cool), and I hobbled my way through a conversation in my very basic French, before adding a little self-deprecating "je suis désolée, mon Français est mauvais", to which he replied "yes, it is a bit shit".
I laughed, he laughed, my other half laughed, I paid over the odds for a pint, the French dude got a kick out of pointing out the flaws in my attempts, everyone went on their day.
I was at a place outside Paris, not too far, but in the Normandy countryside, in a tour group for French people because that's what was running when we arrived and we didn't want to wait an hour for the English version.
Me, with my three years of college-level French, was reasonably able to translate for my wife and ask simple questions. I held most of our questions until the end when everyone else had wandered off, so as to not bother anyone, and when we got the chance I started in with the more involved questions. This biscuit of a young woman listens to me stutter my question out with an utterly deadpan look on her face, and paused, then answered in English.
I was like, I'm trying here. At least acknowledge I'm trying to respect your culture.
I'm a stereotypical metalhead, with the all black clothes, long hair, and monster tshirts and I have no problem ordering goofy shit. I'll get the fruitiest drink they have and down it with my pinky up, no problem.
But remember. Most stereotypical metalheads know that their masculinity isn't defined by something like this. I've seen metalheads with beards and long hair absolutely slay in skirts and dresses.
I really love when "the stereotypical metalhead" is pulled out for masculinity comparisons because most I know don't give a shit about masculinity and just want to be themselves. And I love that.
If a cute and goofy name of a pancake can make someone insecure for ordering it, then they suffer really huge insecurities.I have my own insecurities as well, but a funny food name isn't really that bad. Or bad at all. Idk where I'm going with this.
But remember. Most stereotypical metalheads know that their masculinity isn’t defined by something like this. I’ve seen metalheads with beards and long hair absolutely slay in skirts and dresses.
I don't doubt it. A mosh pit is a great leg workout.
...or silly covers of songs don't phase us either. (NSFW warning)
Maybe im the weird one, but I will happily order stuff like the "rooty tooty fresh 'n' fruity pancakes" exactly as named on the menu with a huge grin on my face. Or if im feeling silly, I'll ask for it with a completely deadpan monotone while looking the waiter in the eye.
If you're already at IHOP to begin with, saying "rooty tooty fresh 'n fruity" does not increase your level of shame.
Customer walks out, goes to a non-corporate local diner where they call them "Fruit Pancakes"
I loved that skit on CollegeHumor. https://youtu.be/gwChStnnidA
Well that got darker than I was expecting
Hilarious
- shorten names
- specify sides
Anything suboptimal is unacceptable.
Source: have ordered at a restaurant before
(Actually once a server told me there might be a group of 20 people and EVERY SINGLE ONE of them will wait for the server to say “…and would you like hash browns or home fries? Wheat or white toast? Buttered or butter on the side?” to EVERY one of them. Thanked me when I picked up after the two people before me were asked to specify a couple things, then explained that.)
Man what the fuck is this thing in the US? Why don't they have defaults? Like if I order a cheeseburger I want the conversation to end there. I don't want the cashier to ask me if I want the normal cheese or the smoked one or the whatever the fuck they have available. And then if I want the normal fries or the country or or wtf. If I wanted an other-than-the-default I should had said it by myself. Or even worse once I was asked "which kind of cheese would you like in your cheeseburger?" Wtf sorry madam I didn't study your catalog yesterday while at home to know in advance which kinds of cheese you have in your restaurant in which I come for my first time ever. I just want a fucking default cheeseburger, not to discuss with you about it for 5 minutes
If this is the kind of service you want, why are you even going to a sit down restaurant? They ask because people don't always know what their options are. "Oh I can get tots instead of fries? I'll take those."
See the way I look at it is, the question of what sides you want is part of the handshake specified by the protocol. You order your main dish, and then the server confirms that you ordered correctly by asking what sides you want. If you expected to be asked about sides and the server fails to confirm, then you need to engage in error correction. "Did that come with sides?" "Oh you wanted the full meal, not the a la cart."
Ahaha. Great explanation.
Haven’t had wrong orders in memory, so might be unnecessary, but like this a lot better than “how dare you think I may have a favorite cheese” above/below :D
Probably because they don't, and this is made up is my guess.
This is probably an exaggeration of "is pepsi okay" and analogues, the employee doesn't want to screw up the order by a potential misunderstanding
"I want the three piece menu"
"we do not have a three piece menu"
"It says so on the poster right above your head"
"Oh, you want the threesome. Gotcha"
There is a cocktail bar i once went to that had drinks such as "doggy style" and "mommy milker" the cocktails were very good.
It's like a warp portal that you can go back and forth in.
I'm so glad I'm not a 15 year old boy who would be embarrassed by this nonsense, anymore.
Reminds me of this: https://youtu.be/Zw19X08k3Ro?si=VGOh4rJLRsxg0thI
That was very amusing.
Reminds me of buying coffee at franchises in China. They won't take cash. You have to have the app, and the banking app.
I have to hand my phone to a coffee shop worker to scroll through infinite options and then look at my banking app because..... It's more convenient!!!
This was literally the commercial back in the 80s.
