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Turkey. Fried or Baked. Baked won, as is right.
Smoked.
Boiled
Fermented
Alive and uneaten
Medium rare
You may be saying boiled in jest, but boiling a turkey whole in crawfish boil makes a nicely spiced turkey that will never be too dry. I'm not sure of it is just a Louisiana thing, but I came across a recipe a couple years ago it turned out to be a big hit.
Rotisserie. The only way to cook a turkey.
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