I know this is just a joke, but seriously don't kill yourself by drinking lye/drain cleaner. It a horrible death, basically slowly charing your esophagus and stomach until you die.
I might not be remembering it totally accurately but my school back in the day had some dude who attempted this come and talk to us about something, can’t remember exactly. Anyway, in order to save his life, doctors had to take his intestines and attach to his throat…OVER the rib cage. I’m pretty sure in order to eat he had to push the food down that over-the-rib intestine like trying to get the last of the toothpaste out of the tube.
For real, I just wanted to read about antics related to the American election, and homie is coming in with the “hey, I have a story about nightmare bowel reconstruction” that makes me simultaneously thankful everything is okay on my end, sad for another person, and grossed out at the same time.
I remember seeing this on TV - I believe it was grill cleaner? It's been quite some years... But I remember him showing how he had to manually push food down the front of his sternum... Creepy
My mom has peristalsis. That means her esophagus muscles no longer work, and so she has to have soft foods that go down really easily and has to either sit up really straight or stand up while she eats.
I saw this on TV and it lives rent-free in my head, forever. Guy indeed has to manually assist chewed food on its way down. I don't recall if he's on a special diet, has to chew the hell out of his food for lack of a stomach, or anything else like that. What was clear is that how he got there, and the way life is now, is very unpleasant.