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I don't remember if it was when I was 18 or 19, but there was a birthday when my plan was to invite my friends over for pizzas and have a good time at home. I had communicated this very clearly to my family. The thing is that when my friends arrived at the time I told them, my family didn't have anything ready, I asked them what was going on and they didn't answer me. My friends, who lived far away, had to leave at dusk. It was then that my family became active, and they put me to make the pizzas, the appetizers and so on, all for them and without my consent or knowledge. Eventually my friends came to think that I didn't want them to eat pizza or be there to celebrate, and it made me feel really bad. I think ever since then, when my family asks me what I want to do for my birthday, I say nothing, since they will still do whatever they want.
Not blaming anyone specifically because I obviously don't have enough information to make an informed decision, but there were definitely some communication issues with the people surrounding you at that time... Regardless, I hope your other birthdays have been about 1000% better!