inability to socialize
inability to socialize
I honestly feel bad posting here again, I feel like a burden. It's just me struggling.. so feel free to skip this post and look at more interesting things
the past two months have been much tougher for me than usual, and when I am not doing well, my capacity to interact with other people is pretty close to zero. I feel a very strong desire to be alone. Having other people notice that I am not well is pretty much the worst thing - I can't talk about what's wrong, and every time I tried my best expressing myself it didn't help. All I really get is advice that does not work for me. So I usually try to pretend I am okay, but at a certain point I can't even really do that anymore.
problem is I'm not living alone. I've skipped quite a number of meals in the past week because I don't want to get into conversations that I don't want to have. I feel like it would be disastrous unmasked, that's why I go this far just to avoid interaction. both of my roommates judge me for spending so much time in my room and I think they tell me to get out every time they see me. I never know how to react to that. Being open about my mental health isn't a good idea - it will end up in them giving me advice that might work for neurotypical, and then they'd blame me if I don't follow their advice. They already kind of do that. I've told one of them about my diagnosis but I don't really think that has no meaning for him.
I feel pathetic skipping dinner anything because I want to avoid social interactions. But in all honesty, I still think it is not worth the stress.
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You could try writing out a letter to give them or a script for yourself to read to them? I find writing things out gives me enough distance from the problem to be able to gather my thoughts.
Yea putting it on paper makes it real, easier to decipher, discard, and make true. I love writing and I'm far better at communicating that way than speaking. Public speaking for me is a confidence issue. It takes me forever to get comfortable with someone, and a little longer to be open and spontaneous. I'm good once I get there, but ultimately I'm better at writing than speaking. I find myself dumbing things down, for others and myself, to the point of intelligibility lol.
I'll think about that, thanks.
@nichtsowichtig @teraflopsweat "Scripting" is a common tool for us, though in most cases it's just rehearsing lines and establishing conversation patterns and flows.
Groups like this are also great places to get together and workshop communication ideas, from figuring out something accessible to say to get your needs met to other forms of communication, or even just validation when there isn't a reasonable way forward.