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Clarence Thomas Torn Over Case Where Both Sides Offer Compelling Scuba Trips

www.theonion.com Clarence Thomas Torn Over Case Where Both Sides Offer Compelling Scuba Trips

WASHINGTON—Admitting that he had never been more conflicted about a ruling in his life, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas was reportedly torn Monday over a case in which both sides offered compelling scuba trips. “While there’s a strong historical precedent for a lavish excursion to Bali, the pl...

Clarence Thomas Torn Over Case Where Both Sides Offer Compelling Scuba Trips
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  • Maybe we can use this?

    Since bribery gratuities are legal now, apparently, and the Supreme Court is legislating everything from the bench, maybe we can pool a sort of PAC and put together a prize sheet for different positive things we want. If they rule for those, they get the prize indicated. Kind of like the prizes you'd get for selling certain thresholds during school fundraisers.

    Also kind of like the Criss Points system: