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I want to stop ruminating about things I wish I would have said or some stupid thing I did say or why did I do that
Forgiving yourself is difficult. You have grown enough to realize what you did was dumb. Whenever your brain decides to throw a random cringe memory in your face, consciously tell yourself you’re better now and you forgive yourself for your mistakes. It helped me.
That and nearly everyone else has those same thoughts.
To get out of those spirals, I just remind myself that I've probably forgotten hundreds of things other people probably regret saying/doing, and odds are most people probably forgot mine. Even if I'm sure someone didn't forget it, I doubt they ever think about it anymore.
That might work until you remember that time someone made a fool out of themselves in front of you.
My ruminations got so bad after a pretty shitty breakup I had to get help....my journey brought me to medication. Depression and adhd (fluoxetine and vyvanse/adderall) meds brought brain silence that almost made me cry when they started working.