If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.
Distressing, but I have been reaching out far more than I used to, so I have far more support than I used to. I'm weathering far worse than what would make me crumble before. It gets better and all.