Who you are vs. Who you like?
Who you are vs. Who you like?
There have been similar posts in the past and you all might be tired of commenting on them, but I'm really curious what it's like for others. So here I am posting my own question thread.
Given that our core identities are defined by lots of different quirks, gender, romance, sexuality, platonic affinity being some of them. I am curious to know what aspects all of you measure yourself by and how you place yourselves within the bigger picture. Especially hoping for some wholesome takes that may help someone else feel more comfortable with themselves, should they adopt the way of thinking.
I'll share my own take: Gender identity
- Masculine-feminine spectrum: Definitely more comfortable with feminine side.
- Fluidity: experiencing some, not sure if that is because of uncertainty or inherent.
- Intensity flux: also experiencing some, some days are just a little extra "I want to be a girl"-days.
- Overall: unsure about where that leaves me, status quo (I'm just me) is fine for now.
Attraction to others
- Sexuality: Definitely bisexual, trans-inclusive (who would have guessed).
- Romantic...ality?: Vastly different from sexuality, mostly romantically interested in women (cis or trans), i'd say biromantic with a 90% bias. Any men I've had romantic interest in shared some feminine traits, so 'femromantic'? Is that a thing?
Social traits
- Platonic affinity: Find myself feeling most comfortable around women. As long as I can remember I've always been one of the girls and some interactions with men actually confirm that I'm absolutely nothing like the average dude.
- General sensitivity: Without a doubt HSP, even though others usually can't tell (which gets me in trouble).
- Social tolerance: Intuitively introverted, though have become more outgoing lately, so not strictly introverted.
Obviously these are just some examples of things we can measure ourselves by, curious to see which ones you will add or remove and why. And it goes without saying: Only share what you're comfortable sharing.
TL;DR: I'm a huge nerd and have reduced myself to an n-dimensional vector, and I'm asking you to do the same and maybe add some dimensions you know of.
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I don't really know how I'd rate myself on a "Masculine-feminine" spectrum. My presentation is masculine, I'm a butch lesbian and generally stick to clothes, hairstyles, and accessories that lean masculine or androgynous. My identity is straightforwardly feminine as I am a binary trans woman and present myself to be readable as a masculine woman. "Masculine woman" is really the only descriptor that feels accurate.
The rest is pretty straightforward; my romantic/sexual orientation is lesbian, I'm mostly into women and could be into nonbinary people, but not men. I typically prefer socializing with women, neuroatypical people, and especially neuroatypical women.
Thanks for sharing! Can't quite recall if I've ever met a butch lesbian trans woman before, but that's probably just lack of exposure on my part. Your description of "masculine woman" is definitely a vivid one though, and it makes sense to me.
I don't really know how I'd rate myself on a "Masculine-feminine" spectrum.
Great news! Staying true to the definition or existence of a masculine-feminine spectrum was never the point of this post, and you managed to satisfy my curiosity without even answering this question. So yeah, fuck the spectrum, it doesn't exist. đ
The other thing that has piqued my interest is your preference for socializing with women. Have you given any thought to the reason behind that, or does it just play out that way? As with everyone else I've asked a follow-up question, don't feel obligated to answer if you feel I'm prying too much.
Yeah, can't say I've met many other butch trans women myself other than online, an a couple of magazines. There's a butch magazine, Butch is Not a Dirty Word, that has some writings by trans butches. The first time I remember learning being a butch trans woman was a thing was a poem, called "Don't Call Me Mister, 'Cause I'm a TS Butch" (TS used to be the common way to shorten the word "transsexual" when it was more in use) by Xanthra Phillippa in her zine Gender Trash from Hell that kinda made me realize that there were other trans lesbian woman that were butch.
As far as socializing with women, I think I probably should have specified above all else that I mostly socialize with queer people and in particular queer women (although some men as well). Most of the media I consume is lesbian stuff and it's just easier to talk about lesbian films and culture with other lesbians than with guys lol