Our Doctor, who art in cans, Pepper be thy name
Thy discount come,
Thy stock value increase,
In sales as it helps shareholders.
Give us this day our sugar rush,
And forgive us our loud belches
As we forgive those who refuse to drink Thee.
Lead us not into moderation
But deliver us to diabetes.
For thine is the fandom,
The branding and the artificial flavors,
Forever and ever, brrraaaapp.