My son got Nikes so he doesn't get teased.
He's always wore sketchers. Like since he was 4. Recently, he got really emotionally taking about shoes he wanted for middle school. He said if he doesn't get Nikes he's going to get teased. Great fucking marketing work Nike.
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Get him heelys so he can stunt on the haters.
Ngl this was my first thought. Or dig out a pair of those ol' soap shoes and do a sick grind (practice first with both of these).