I think both parties are wrong here. Mothers do not need to be feminine or soft either. What the fuck does that even mean. FeMiNiNe sOFt women!!! It's just coded language for submissive, self-sacrificing domestic slave.
I should be more precise for you "gotcha!" pedants: I will not change a single thing about myself or feel a single ounce of shame or influence based on the above statement. I only care in that I vociferously oppose its misogynistic premise and believe it is worth it to call out when I see it. Happy? God I hate people like you.