Trump taps Rep. Matt Gaetz as attorney general
Trump taps Rep. Matt Gaetz as attorney general
Donald Trump loyalist Matt Gaetz offered his resignation from Congress the same day he was tapped to be U.S. attorney general, House Speaker Mike Johnson said.
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The Cabinet list so far, as it was officially leaked moments ago on NudeAfrica.com:
State - Matt Gaetz
Treasury - Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino
Interior - A t-shirt cannon
Justice - DraftKings®
Agriculture - owner of that McDonald’s
Commerce - currently accepting bids
Labor - Immortan Joe
Defense - Vladimir Putin
Housing and Urban Development - it’s Trump, so probably Herschel Walker, ffs
Transportation - Elon Musk’s twitter account
Energy - V. Putin
Health and Human Services - sold off and privatized between Nestlé, Saudi Aramco, and Ticketmaster
Education - Kid Rock, Marjorie Taylor-Greene, and Lauren Boebert, and all sewn together as a human centipede
Veterans' Affairs - Captain Morgan; under secretaries Jack Daniels and Jim Beam
Homeland Security - Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, once the check clears
56 0 ReplySatire is dead. I earnestly predict at least one more pick on this list proves actually true.
20 0 ReplyThe Onion writers: "Let's go with this one, the real picks are too over the top."
8 0 ReplyJust need Camacho on that list.
1 0 ReplyPoor Camacho gets shit for being thick, but when the world's smartest man turned up he asked his advice gave him a job. Eventually.
2 0 ReplyThat is a very valid point. He had the strength to yield. The problem with our real world Camacho is he's too weak to do that.
1 0 Reply
Matt "Pizza" Gaetz
Kristi "Ol Yeller" Noem
4 0 ReplyHousing and urban development will probably be that guy who owns Monarch real estate investment. Large scale slumlord.
2 0 Reply