Me, explaining to her why cutting down a shotgun is not a good idea as part of a robust a self defense posture, given the history of the technique, the resulting ergonomics, and the wide availability of superior compact self defense items. She is very receptive to my lecture and has agreed to a second date.
It depends on if your trenches are infested with Germans or not, though I would still argue that there are more effective first line solutions to that problem which do not spook ATF-chan.