o7___o7 @ o7___o7 @awful.systems

[redacted] enthusiast, robot combat enjoyer, distressingly Appalachian, fat

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1,356

Joined

3 yr. ago

Neom update:

It reminds me of the bizzare and ill-omened rituals my ancestors used to start a weed eater.

Latter Say Daints

New believers spreading the "good news" eh?

When you go so hard you Hadamard

https://mastodon.social/@flub/115813129429389749

Seventh Day Add-fent-ists

Zyn Bhuddists

right? lol but I cant it's too popular with the kiddos

CW: Slop, body humor, Minions

So my boys recieved Minion Fart Rifles for Christmas from people who should have known better. The toys are made up of a compact fog machine combined with a vortex gun and a speaker. The fog machine component is fueled by a mixture of glycerin and distilled water that comes in two scented varieties: banana and farts. The guns make tidy little smoke rings that can stably deliver a payload tens of feet in still air.

Anyway, as soon as they were fired up, Ammo Anxiety reared its ugly head, so I went in search of a refill recipe. (Note: I searched "Minions Vortex Gun Refill Recipe") and goog returned this fartifact*:

194 dB, you say? Alvin Meshits? The rabbit hole beckoned.

The "source links" were mostly unrelated except one, which was a reddit thread that lazily cited ChatGPT generating the same text almost verbatim in response to the question, "What was the loudest ever fart?"

Luckily, a bit of detectoring turned up the true source, an ancient Uncyclopedia article's "Fun Facts" section:

https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Fartium

The loudest fart ever recorded occurred on May 16, 1972 in Madeline, Texas by Alvin Meshits. The blast maintained a level of 194 decibels for one third of a second. Mr. Meshits now has recurring back pain as a result of this feat.

Welcome to the future!

• yeah I took the bait/I dont know what I expected

Removing software that's made by confirmed idiots ought to be a solid security play, right?

oof ow my bones why do my bones hurt?

–a man sipping from a bottle labeled “bone hurting juice”

Gemini helps a guy increase his google cloud bill 18x

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=46378065

Our physics department had a coffee table in the lobby piled up with the most recent batch of unsolicited kook manuscripts, which might count

Slop can never win, even at being slop. Best they can do is sloppy seconds.

If there were a pokemon whose ability is "Confidently Incorrect"

Follows the AdjectiveAnimal template. Im sold!

This is a banger of a metaphor

In the future, I'm going to add "at scale" to the end of all my fortune cookies.

Back when I was in high school my uncle took us out to a Cajun seafood buffet in south central Alabama. The shrimp

God was moving in that kitchen, I tell you.